the fear in my heart is enough to make me cold

(Liv's PoV)

"Jaime i'm so sorry please you can't say anything you have to be quiet or they'll come in here please!" the words poured out my mouth in one breathe, i never knew i could speak that fast. Jaime was standing there in silence ghostly white with wide eyes.

"Liv, what the hell i- why are you doing this? and don't you dare give me some bullshit answer, you tell me the truth or so help me god!" He had to stop himself, the anger was boiling over, i could see it in his eyes.

"I don't know" i said quietly

"Bullshit you don't know! you wouldn't be doing this if you "didn't know" god, are you crazy? what if it wasn't me who walked in here, uh? what if it was Tony, or Mike, or Vic for christs sake, do you know what this would do to Vic?"

"He doesn't even fucking care!" i said defensively. "He hasn't had a full conversation with me in over two months and you think he fucking cares? are you kidding me?"

"Liv, he does care, he's just-" "He's just what?! give me one reason why i should believe that he give a shit about me? why i should believe that anybody gives a shit about me?" i was in tears by this point....."Nobody fucking cares" I say quietly, trying not to let the guys outside hear.

"Look at me" Jaime said, i looked up to see him right in front of me "You're so fucking beautiful and you don't even know it, god i want you to know it." He pulled me close and kissed me. it was soft and sweet, after a second i loosened up and kissed him back. our lips seemed to move in sync as he lifted me onto the sink. i ran my fingers through his hair i went to unbutton his shirt when i heard a knock at the door

"Yo, Liv hurry up, we're going to the store. and text Jaime, he must've ran off somewhere but tell him if he wants anything he better get his ass back here."

"Okay!" i yelled "Shhh, you have to be quiet, he'd kill you if he knew you were in here." i jumped off the sink and looked at the floor........."You're wrong" i said, getting choked up again

"What do you mean?" he asked confused "about me.....you're wrong....i'm not beautiful, and you could do better. But i guess i am crazy, huh? to believe for a second that things could ever be okay.....they'll never be okay, not for long anyway....i've learned that the hard way....i guess people like me don't ever get to be happy."

I walked out the bathroom and went to get changed. i didn't hear jaime come out so he must've stayed in a little longer which was fine cause it decreased the chances of us getting caught by Mike. I didn't want to go to the store, i didn't think i could handle being surrounded by all that food, and i'm sure they're gonna try to get me to get something, it'd be too much.

"Hey, Mike, i don't really need anything from the store. could i just chill here for a while? besides, i'd slow you down on the crutches." he furrowed his eyebrows and sighed "nah jelly bean, you haven't been eating right and you know it, you're all skin and bones. you need to get some real food in ya!" "But-" i tried to retort "no buts, missy. you're coming with us whether you like it or not." "Fine." i said defeated. The five of us piled into the blue beetle that Tony rented from Enterprise. the ride only took about 5 minutes but the boys were rowdy as hell and they kept accidentally hitting me in the face, everyone except from Jaime, he wouldn't even look at me. He hadn't said a word to anyone since the bathroom.....i wonder what he was thinking about.

(Jaime's PoV)
She's so fucking clueless. She has no idea what she means to any of us, none at all. She's going to destroy herself and for what? the need to be perfect?.........she already is perfect. Shit, i don't know why i even feel this way, i don't love her...i mean i love her as a sister, she's like a sister to me......but damn that kiss was good. i don't know what came over me i just saw all the blood and she looked so helpless and then she started saying that no one cared about her and i just, i had to kiss her. I wasn't lying when i told her she was beautiful.....she is so gorgeous, i've never seen anyone with eyes like hers. she's amazing, but i don't love her! my thoughts are interrupted by someone calling my name

"earth to Jaime! you comin' man?"
"What? oh yeah, sorry i was just thinking. what are we here for anyway, we have catering you know." Mike was the first to answer
"Yeah i know, but it's obvious that Liv isn't going to eat any of that, so i thought that maybe if we got stuff that she liked she'd eat more. I know how picky she can be."
Liv looked really uncomfortable, i mean it was obvious what Mike was trying to do but i don't think it was going to work. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. "Liv, what's wrong?"

(Liv's Pov)
"Liv, what's wrong?" Jaime asked, i didn't even realize i was crying until i looked up
"Hey, what's up Jelly bean?" all the guys were circled around me now. i felt like i was suffocating.
"guys, i can't do it......i-- want to go home, please can we go home?"
"We've gotta get you some food" Mike answered
"i DON'T WANT food; i can't, i've gotta get away from here."
i ran towards the woods behind the store, i knew there'd be a lake there, we passed it on the way in here. after running for a while i finally found it. I sunk down into the mud and cried. I heard footsteps approach and felt someone put their hands on my shoulders.

"Liv, what're you doing here?!" i couldn't believe what i saw when i turned around.

Notes

Jaime and Liv always seem to end up in the bathroom haha, oh well :) i think they'd be cute together but you never knowwwwww....................how do you think Mike and Vic would react?
who do you think showed up by the lake?

i'm on a roll tonight, i'm working on another chapter after this one, i feel like i owe you guys a poop ton of chapters cause i've been gone forever <3