I'm Sorry

* a couple days later *

I woke up to Austin and Alan yelling " COME ON EVERYONE! WAKE UP! WE'RE GOING TO THE BEACH! " I frowned a bit but then smiled. Truth be told I hate the beach but I would just love a little sun to try and warm up my icy blood. I went into my bedroom and found my bathing suit. I put it on underneath my Crown The Empire shirt and my black skinny jeans and a sweater. I slipped on my red vans and gabbed my phone before going into the front lounge. I grabbed a huge towel to lay on from the closet and waited for the others to get ready. They all came out relatively quickly. We decided to invite Pierce The Veil and Sleeping With Sirens to go with us as well. We waited for them to get ready and we walked to the beach.

As soon as we got there I laid down my towel under the shade of a tree. I took out my phone and plugged it into some speakers that Austin brought. I then played my Post-Hardcore playlist super loud so that everyone could hear. I laid back on my towel and smiled. No one was on the beach but my friends and I. All of them jumped in the water except for a few who were eating lunch. " C'MON IN HAZE! THE WATER'S GREAT! " Austin yelled to me as Danny splashed him in the face while trying to splash Ali. " um, no thanks! " I yelled back. He pouted. I shrugged. As he looked away I scratched at the swollen cut under my bracelets and under my pants. I cringed and one of the ones on my leg opened up a bit but luckily no one could see the blood. Austin came up to me and water dripped onto my face. I flinched as the cool water hit my skin. " why don't you wanna come in. " I was silent for a bit. " it's to cold " I finally stuttered out. Austin glared at me " bull. It's super warm and you know it. " I shrugged and almost tried to curl in on myself. Of course it didn't work. " Hazel " he whispered. " I can't " I said " what? " he asked confused " I can't go in " I whispered. " but Hazel " he argued. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and stood up to walk on the shore line. He followed behind me " why can't you go in? " he asked. I sighed " I just can't " I whispered, on the verge of tears. He stopped in his tracks as he heard the pain in my voice. I took this as an opening to walk quickly away. He went back into the water and watched me as if I were a million miles away. I scratched more at my arms. I didn't realize that blood was dripping down my arm until I took my fingers away from my wrist and saw the blood under my fingernails. I pretended to look for seashells giving me an opportunity to clean off my wrist. Suddenly I felt someone push me and scream " KITTY CAT IS IN THE WATER! " Alan. Of course. My cuts stung as the water attacked them. My clothes weighed me down. I started to freak out. I tried to get closer to shore but it seemed like an impossible goal. Suddenly I felt myself slip under with the icy water covering my body. Black dots had started to cloud my vision when I felt arms underneath me. They lifted me out of the water and on to dry land where I shivered in a ball. I could feel my warm blood seep into my clothes and drip off my hand and down my leg. I started to hyperventilate. " shhhhh Hazel your fine now " Austin said. He grabbed me and sat me in his lap. He hadn't seemed to realize that I was bleeding. A lot. Suddenly Alan and Tony came up to us. Tony's face was pale. Alan looked shocked. " what's the matter guys? " Austin asked as my tears blurred my vision. " um....Austin I think she need some bandages. " Alan said. Suddenly Austin looked at me. Actually looked at me. He saw the blood dripping off my fingertips and my legs. He was speechless. Suddenly I felt cold again. Austin had gone up and walked towards his car. I cried harder. He probably hates me now. Hates my body. Hates my guts. Hates everything about me. Of course I was wrong. He came back with a tender look in his eyes and a first aid kit. He smiled a bit and pulled up the sleeve of my sweater. Underneath were jagged vertical and horizontal lines. They went almost to the bone. No wonder I've felt so weak lately. I lost too much blood. Austin wrapped bandages around my arm and held them together with skin tape. He then slid off my pants carefully and started to wrap my leg. He then took his towel and put it around me. He held me close to his body and buried his face in my neck. I could feel him shaking underneath me. I pushed his face up and kissed his cheeks that were wet with tears. He smiled and hugged me to keep me warm. I then let sleep come to me as I snuggled in Austin's arms.

* time to leave, Hazel still asleep * ( Austin's POV )

Alan yelled that we had to get back to the busses before they left without us. I told Alan to take my car and that I would walk with Hazel. She was still asleep in my arms. She looked so vulnerable. The lines of pain that sometimes appeared were gone. Her dimples showed a bit as she slightly smiled in her sleep. If I looked really closely I could see tiny freckles that were under her eyes. I smiled and kissed her cheek as I carried her back. She snuggled into my chest, breathing in my scent, and sighing in...was it relief? Or maybe comfort. She then started to squirm and cry. " no...no don't leave me " she said through her tears. " Haze? " I asked but she didn't reply. She was dreaming. " I hate you Cody " she growled out. " Cody? Another guy? Or maybe something else. Suddenly she screamed and woke up. " I heard something " she said. I sighed " you screamed " I replied and kissed her cheek. " nonsense, I never scream in my sleep " I just shrugged her off. She had a look in her eyes that told me that she believed me but didn't want to admit it. She nodded off again right as we came up to the venue. I carried her to my bus and laid down in my bed next to her. " sleep Hazel, heal and sleep and be happy. "

Notes

Hey guys sorry I haven't updated recently :) enjoy this chapter.