I'm Sorry

I woke to the sound of screaming, my screaming. " shhhhh it's okay Hazel. " I cried into Austin's chest as he held me in the early hours of the morning. The bus was moving and we bumped around a bit. " what were you dreaming? " he asked. I stiffened against his side. He kissed my forehead, " it's okay, you don't have to tell me if your not ready. " I just nodded and snuggled into his shoulder. Suddenly, Cody's face popped up behind my closed eyelids. I whimpered and cringed in on myself. Ever since the day that I told Cody to go away, he hasn't left my dreams. Every night, the same fucking dream. It's a miracle that my band can put up with it. I usually don't scream but the nightmares have gotten louder and more persistent. They've gotten worse. I went to scratch at my arms to see that both if them were wrapped in gauze. Oh yeah, Austin wrapped up my cuts. I got up and went to change into the extra clothes that I kept in Austin's bus. I changed into my other pair of black distressed skinny jeans and my " I eat my friends " shirt. I didn't bother with bracelets because of the gauze. I went into the Of Mice And Men kitchen to see Austin getting some fruit out. I grabbed the eggs and the pop tarts. I put four pop tarts in the toaster, one for me, one for Alan, and two for Tino. I started making the eggs for Phil and Austin and myself. Austin cut up the fruit and put it in a bowl. We put the food on the table and I called out " BOYS! BREAKFAST IS SERVED " immediately, Alan, Tino and Phil came out of the bunks. They ran to the table and sat down where there food was. Austin and I sat down too and started eating. Austin watched me as I slowly bit into my food. I could feel it slide down my throat and land in my stomach. I heard a sound come from my belly. I took another bite and the food felt a little better going down. By the time I finished my eggs, my stomach was happy. I finished my pop tart and got up to put my plate in the sink. I kissed Austin's cheek and he looked at me in surprise, " where are you going? " he asked. I smiled. " the busses stopped so I have to go feed my band otherwise they'll come over here and drag me back to the bus. " he sighed " I love you " he said, kissing my cheek. I looked at him in surprise. He never said that before. I smiled " love you too " I whispered and ran out the door.

I was so happy. It's January and it looks like it's going to snow here in Detroit.As I started to walk back to my bus, I saw a figure come out from behind the bathrooms. " hi Jenna. " I said. She just glared at me. " what's the matter? " I asked. She took my hand and pulled up my sleeve. She unwrapped my arm and she glared at my cuts. " oh so sweet little Hazel is perfect huh? Is that what everybody says. " I started to breath hard. " l-let go " I whispered. " tell me....tell me, that you don't drag that blade across your skin...and pray for the courage to press down. Tell me that you don't sit in the bathroom every night, crying while a blade slices your skin " I just stared in horror. Her nails dug into my cuts and fresh blood dripped off my arm. I tried to pull away but it was too painful. " let me go, Let Me Go, LET ME GO! " I yelled. She finally let go and I ran off towards my bus. I went straight into my room and got new bandages for my cuts. " hey Haze " said Danny when he came in quietly. I just nodded. I tried to pass by him but he stopped me when he saw my watery eyes. " n-nothing " I whispered. I tried to run past him but he caught me. " Danny shove off! " I yelled and finally escaped the room. " Hazel! " he yelled as he chased after me. I ran and ran around the venue. He tried to catch. Up but I was faster than him. I ran into the woods next to the venue and ran as far away as possible.

* Austin's POV *

I walked up to Hazel's bus and knocked on the door. Danny answered looking sad. " what's the matter? " I asked. He started to tear up " h-have you seen my sister? " he asked. I shook my head. Tears made tracks on his cheeks " w-we've looked everywhere for her a-and she's gone! He sat down on the couch as the tears took over his body. " I need her to be safe with me! I need my anchor back " he whispered. The whole band had been watching him with sad eyes. I bit my lip until I felt blood drip down my chin. " we'll find her. Even if it takes forever. " suddenly a snowflake landed on my hand as the first warning of winter fell from the sky.

-- a few days later ( Austin's POV ) --

We still haven't found Hazel. We called the police and the tour has been postponed until we find her. Danny is a wreak. He hasn't eaten. He hasn't slept. And we're all pretty sure that he's cutting himself. The only thing left to do is check the back if the forest. We've checked the other parts but not the back. We starting walking into the forest and calling her name. " Hazel! Hazel!! " I called desperately. We separated. I starting walking when suddenly I saw a pair of jeans and a jacket and a pairs of shoes. " Hazel? " I heard her moan in pain. " HAZEL!! " I picked her up and kissed her head. I started to cry. " Hazel. Hazel are you okay? " she shivered and moaned in pain again " I took my jacket off and put it around her frozen body. She cuddled into it but then winced when it hit her swollen arms. She started to cry. I went back to the clearing we had to decided to meet up at again and called everyone over. Danny took her in his arms and cried over her while she shivered. I picked her up and carried her to the car since Danny was not capable of doing anything, let alone stand up. I turned on the heater full blast and pointed it towards her. When we got back to the venue and out of the woods, I saw Jenna come up. " oh my god is she okay! " I just ignored her and picked up Hazel. Jenna touched Hazel's cold face and Hazel flinched away from her. " j- just stay away from me! " she yelled with as much strength as she could muster up. Jenna stepped back and started to cry " I'm sorry " she whispered and walked away towards her bus. I carried Hazel to her bus and undressed her. I out her in the bathtub filled with warm water. Her skin almost returned to its normal color when I finally drained the water. I wrapped her up in a towel and dried her off completely before putting my warm Slipknot shirt on her. I put warm pajama pants on her and put her under the covers of her bed. She fell asleep just as I sunk into a chair next to her bed and sighed.

Notes

Sorry that's it's short guys but it's only half of the chapter. I'll update the rest later though in a new chapter. It will be called " chapter nine: nightmares and bloody mirrors continued " I love you guys :P