I'm Sorry

I woke up to the smell of food. Alan was up and was making food for me and Austin and my band. I was about to get up when I thought about yesterday and started to cry silently again. I buried my head in Austin's chest and felt him move a bit in his sleep. I could feel him wake up. He put his arms around me and held me while I cried. I stopped crying finally and Austin lifted me up. He sat us down at the table as the rest of my band came out of their bunks with red rimed eyes. They looked at me sympathetically. I just stared at the table. Alan set down food for everybody and I just looked at my food while everyone ate. Austin looked at me and took my fork. He stabbed my eggs and tried to feed them to me " choo choo here comes the train. Eat it all up " but I wouldn't even open my mouth. He sighed " c'mon Hazel you have to eat. " he said. I pulled my knees up to my face and ignored him. Suddenly I felt sick to my stomach. Mitch is dead. I'll never ever see him again. I ran to the bathroom and threw up the contents of my stomach. I had so little in there that it was mostly dry heaving. Austin came in and held me as I cried into my knees. " why did it have to happen " I asked silently. He didn't reply. He took me in his arms and carried me to my room. He changed my clothes for me and lay down in bed with me. " sleep Hazel. God knows, you need it "he whispered. I let my eyes close as his arms wrapped around my waist and protected me from the outside world and my own thoughts.

*******

I woke up sometime after dinner. I could tell that everyone had already fallen asleep because there was no sound but snoring. I got out of bed quickly and flattened my wrinkled clothes ( not that I cared that they were wrinkled ). I pulled on a black jacket and walked out into the living room. I started going through my phone. I looked at all the pictures of Mitch and I and started to cry again. This is gonna be hard for me to get over. I stood up and walked to the bathroom. I locked the door and took a razor out of my pocket. I slid my pants down and attacked my legs with the sharp object. It cut my legs like paper. I stopped and moved on to my arms. I let the blood run down my arms and stain the floor. I started to black out but shook my head to try and keep me conscious. I quickly got in the shower and turned the water on. I rinsed my body until the blood stopped flowing out of the slits in my skin. I got out of the shower and put my black sweater and black pj pants on. I quickly cleaned up the floor and went back into my room. I climbed into bed next to Austin. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and snuggled into him.

Notes

Hey guys. I'm probably updating soon again. Please don't be silent readers!