A Match Into Water

Vic sat me down onto the seats nearby and he sat opposite me.

I placed my hand into my pocket and held the pills in my hand.

I grabbed my drink and took one at a time hoping Vic wouldn't realise.

His eyes looked sad and I could hardly keep mine open to ask why.

I decided to pull the pills from my pocket and placed them on the table.

Vic didn't even look up.

I decided to count how many there was left so I knew how many I took.

There was 51 yesterday and now there's 32

I asked Vic what 51 take away 32 was seems as though my brain wasn't working.

"19 hun" His answer was fairly blunt.

I didn't realise I had took 19 pills.

I grabbed Vic's hand and placed the pills into his palm.

"Don't let me have them back" I looked straight into his eyes he looked so confused.

The tears formed in my eyes as I repeated myself "Please don't let me have them back if you do I will do something stupid"

"Okay baby I won't" Vic came over and pressed his lips onto my forehead.

"I'm so sorry" I began to feel increasingly tired.

"Alisha where are the rest?" Vic's tone if voice was extremely serious.

I didn't know how to answer him as I was that tired I struggled to speak.

"Alisha, it's important you tell me" Vic sounded less serious and more upset.

I signed to him my belly by placing my fat hands onto my disgusting, vile stomach.

Vic pulled me into a hug and said he was sorry. What does he have to be sorry for? He didn't rape me and make me feel worthless again.

I laid down and rested my head on Vic's lap. Vic soothed me by stroking my hair....I love it when he does that.

Vic could see how tired I really was "Go to sleep, I'm here nothing will happen....I promise"

My eyes shut even though I didn't want to sleep, I felt safe but I didn't feel like sleeping.

My hands snapped up to my chest as the stabbing pain got worse, it now hurt to breathe.

Vic told me to relax and that he had this. He kissed my chest where I told him it was hurting and placed his hand there.

I couldn't live without him, I'm glad I've gave him them tablets now.

I'm safe from myself....for now.

Notes

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