Unseen Love

~Tina’s POV~

I was at home alone while Austin went to band rehearsals. We haven’t talked about what we were going to do. I was scared to ask him if I was going on tour with him or not. I know we have been becoming closer, but with my constant fear of trust with not only Austin, but myself too, I have been avoiding the topic. My heart is slowly winning over, and I can tell that Austin is becoming impatient. It is not like I enjoy this. I wish I wasn’t so fucked up. Austin has not left my side yet. He reassures me every day that he will never hurt or leave me. I feel as if every time he tells me that my brain I becoming more trust worthy.

“Hey babe! What are you doing?” Austin hollered from down the hallway. He was making his way into the bedroom, where I was laying.

“I haven’t been feeling well…” I trailed off. I don’t know what has been wrong with me. I have been feeling nauseated. “I have been in bed since you left this morning, except for when I had to run to the toilet to let bile out…” I trailed off again with a frown. I hate being sick. I have been feeling it for the past week now. I would think it would be the medication from the hospital, but I have been out for a month now. I know it is not the medication. Maybe just a little stomach virus?

“Let’s go.” Austin demanded. I didn’t know what was going on. I was going to ask but I figured it out when he carried me into the bathroom. He set me down on the counter, and turned around to start the bathe. “You are going to take a nice hot bubble bathe while I go and cook you homemade chicken noodle soup. I can’t have my baby sick when we go on tour. You might get me sick. We really can’t have that happen now can we? So! I am going to take care of you.” Austin ended with a little peck on my nose. I was flabbergasted. I have never been treated like this before. Then I was in shock about what he told me. Did he really just tell me that I am going on tour with him? Was he even going to ask me?!

“Wait.” I blurted out. Austin turned around slowly looking at me. He dropped his head trying to hide the serious blush that was forming. “You want me to go on tour with you?” I asked wide eyed. I know I should already know the answer, but I want to hear him tell me.

“Of course I do, Val! I thought you didn’t want to come with me, because you haven’t asked me about it. So I asked Alan what I should and he told me to not ask you, just tell you. But if you don’t want…” I cut him off with my finger. I would normally cut him with my lips, but he really can’t get sick.

“I didn’t want to be the clingy girlfriend. But if you truly want me to come along, then yes. I will go with you. I would love to be there, supporting my amazing boyfriend.” I said with a cheeky smile. This is really too good to be true. How could life go from a hell whole to straight perfection? Don’t get me wrong, I love where Austin and I are going. We aren’t moving to fast, but not too slow. It is perfect. A little to perfect...

“I have had clingy. Trust me when I say this. You are NOT clingy what so ever. You’re perfect.” I couldn’t help but look down. My blush was becoming a lot stronger. I felt my face, neck, and ears heat up. I hate how easy I blush. “Don’t look down. I love you and how easy you blush.” If it is even possible, I began blushing even worst. I soon started laughing at my current state. “Now while I go cook, you get undressed and relax. I would undress you myself but I won’t be able to keep my hands and lips off.” Austin winked. I giggle and slowly looked up, meeting Austin’s gaze, with a serious face.

“Is that such a bad idea?” I smirked while slowly pulling down my underwear, teasing him.

“Val….” Austin trailed off. I could tell his mouth was watering by the way he abruptly closed his mouth and gulped. He was inspecting every inch of my partially naked body. “I can’t… I love you but I can’t get sick…” He finished with a frown. Nodded my head while batting my innocent eyes.

“If you say so…” I said slowly while turning around shaking my butt out a little. I then slowly began raising my shirt. But I stopped the moment I felt bile raise in the pit of my stomach. I stopped moving and stood still. I pulled my underwear back on and clutched my stomach as a sharp pain went through my lower abdomen.

“Babe, what is wrong?” Austin asked with concern. I just shook my head and pulled him into a hug.

Ever since my last break down, I have been feeling a lot more depressed, but when I am in Austin’s arms everything wrong in my life goes away. He accepts me, he is my stress reliever. “Can you just hold me for a minute? I don’t want sex or even a kiss, just a hug. I am sorry for teasing you. I know you hate that.” I mumbled, still not trusting the bile in my stomach. Austin pulled my deeper into his chest. “I love you.” I spoke sweetly, and looking up.

“I love you too, Val.” Austin spoke with passion. Tears began to brim my eyes so I pulled away before he could notice. He just let out a sigh and let go of me completely.

“I guess I am going to bathe now.” I nodded. Austin kissed my forehead and exited our bathroom. I pulled my shirt and underwear back off my body, before stepping into the bathtub. The water was hot, but it felt good. The pain somehow made the pain inside my head go away. I closed my eyes and began thinking of everything that has happened and that will happen. As I began getting deeper into my thoughts my stomach started to churn, again. This time I felt the bile rise up my esophagus, so I dove for the toilet and let everything out. I have not been able to eat for the past three days, so how am I throwing up so much? Then I thought to what time of the month it is. Mid-January and I missed my period. I haven’t been on the pill ever since I got out the hospital, because I forgot to take it. I began to cry at the realization of my possible pregnancy.

“I can’t tell Austin. He is so stressed out about this tour. I am not ready for this!” I sobbed.

“Not ready for what? What can’t you tell me?” Austin whispered.

“No. No. No. NO! Why are you always around when I don’t want you to be?!” I yelled. Once I said it I realized it came out the wrong way. But before I could tell him what I meant he spoke.

“What are you trying to hide Val?”

That one question made my cries even louder.

“Please. Please Austin give me time to tell you. I am still unsure what is wrong with me. But I can’t let you stress out to much. Please just do this for me? I promise I will tell you when I am a hundred percent sure.” I pleaded through tears. Austin’s face did not show acceptance, but anger. He was furious. If looks could kill I would be dead. I grabbed a towel off the counter and wrapped it around my curled body.

“What the fuck ever! I am going to worry even more now! Just tell me so we can work this out together!” Austin roared. I couldn’t help but tremble and cry more. Austin’s raised voice reminded me so much of Connor. Why can’t people just respect my choices?

“I ne-need Ta-Tori…” I whimpered out. My panic attack is starting to get stronger. I cried more letting the tears flow freely down my face. “I need Tori.” I kept repeating.


“NO!” Austin yelled out. Causing me to flinch. “You are NOT running to Tori when I am right here! You will tell me even if we have to stay right here all fucking night! You understand?! I am fucking tired of you keeping shit from me!” I know Austin is stressed but I won’t let him talk to me like this. I refuse to let anyone treat me the way Connor did. The only way I would be able to stand up for myself is if I calm down. Tori is not here and Austin will not comfort me, so I have to do this on my own. I began to slow my breathing and thinking of Tori’s reassuring voice.

After of a couple more minutes of restoring myself I stood up. I headed for the bedroom to get dressed. Austin went too far. I need to be alone and find out if I really am pregnant or not. I began pulling on my clothes and shoes. I through my wet hair in a messy bun and exited the bedroom down the kitchen to where my keys are. Austin hasn’t spoken since his explosion and I am glad. If he would have kept talking I most likely would have left. For good.

As I made my way to the door Austin grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a tight embrace. I didn’t hug him back, but once I felt my shoulder get wet I hugged him back. The fact that he is crying shows me that he loves me and is truly sorry. But that does not mean I am ready to forgive him. He knows me, and the fact that he just kept screaming at me really scares me. What if this is the start of something I don’t want? Something I don’t need nor deserve anymore?

I finally pulled away from him and turned back to the door. I opened the door and let one foot step out before I heard Austin mumble, “I love you. Please be safe and come back home when you are ready.” I nodded and shut the door behind me. Knowing the fact that he will let me go so that we can both cool down is already showing me that he is not going to turn into Connor. If I would have even put on my shoes in front of Connor my face would get mashed into the wall.

I got into Austin’s car and drove to the nearest pharmacy.

“I am going to take the test and depending on what it says will decipher my next steps.” I spoke out loud. I put Common Courtesy on repeat and let Jeremy’s voice sooth my nerves. Usually I would turn to alcohol or a joint, but if I am pregnant I don’t want to take the chance of hurting the baby. So music will have to just do it for me this one time. As I was approaching the nearest pharmacy my stomach began to churn again for the millionth time today! My shaking hand went up to the ignition to remove the keys. Once everything was silent in the car, I took deep breaths. I opened the door and stepped out. I made my way into the store and through the idles to the feminine section. As I was grabbing the boxes that held my fate, I felt tears fall on my face. All of these memories came flooding back to me. I have been pregnant four times and have lost the baby, because Connor beat them to death or my body rejected them. I really want a baby, but what will happen if I end up being pregnant? I will not lose this baby.
Even if I have to raise the baby on my own I will keep it and give it the love it deserves. I grabbed four pregnant test and headed for the cashier. Once I paid for them, my next step was towards the bathroom.

I made it to the bathroom stall, but as I was pulling down my pants, I got the urge to go home. Austin is not Connor. He will be excited. I pulled up my pant and ran out the bathroom and the store to Austin’s car. I sped all the way home to Austin. When I pulled into the drive way I jumped out of my car and ran into the house.

“Austin!” I yelled franticly. I saw Austin stumble into the kitchen with a both of Jack in his hands.

“I thought I lost you. I thought I messed up. I am so sorry Valentina. I should not have yelled at you like that.” Austin spoke with sincere and tears falling from both of our eyes.

“I wasn’t going to come home. I was going to find out what is wrong with me without you, but I realized that I want you standing by my side every step of the way. I went to the pharmacy down the road and bought these.” I mumbled at the end. My stomaching turning even worst when I emptied the bag onto the counter. “I want you to be with me when I find out if I am or not.” I trailed off. I looked up to Austin and I saw a frantic, but happy expression. A smile appeared on his face which made me smile. I let out a thankful sigh and went to grab the test, but Austin beat me to it. He threw the bottle of Jack on the counter, grabbed all four test, then picked me up in a bridal style and ran up the stairs. I giggled and pulled myself closer to Austin so I could get my secure. When we made it to the bathroom Austin put me on top of the counter and began opening the packages.

“I can’t believe I might actually be a dad.” He mumble, struggling to open the package but stopped and kissed me on the lips. I jumped off the counter and stood next to Austin staring at the four sticks in front of us. Austin had the most terrified looked on his face. I couldn’t help but giggle a little. I met Austin’s hand with mine and squeezed it a little. I let go and began unbuttoning my pants for the second time tonight. “I will just step out and let you pee.” Austin headed for the door, but I pulled him back in and shut the door.

“No. I don’t want to keep you in the dark anymore.” I stood on my tippy-toes and kissed him lightly on the lips. I grabbed the first test and sat down. I peed a little on the first stick then reached for the second, and so on, and so forth. All the sticks laid back out on the counter we had to wait the giving time. I couldn’t help but speak to get rid of this silence. “I didn’t want to tell you what was wrong with me in the bathroom earlier, because this is not the first time I have done this. I have been pregnant four other times. I had lost every one of them. I was nervous, because I did not know if you wanted a baby. I do Austin. If I end up being pregnant, I am keeping it. If I have to end up choosing between the baby and you I will choose my baby.” I trailed off putting my hands on my stomach. I hadn’t noticed that I was crying until tears began to make their way down to my hands. Austin stepped behind me and put his hands on top of mine. I felt his tears fall onto my shoulder.

“I would never make you choose Val. You don’t understand how happy I am. I could not choose any other woman to carry my kid. I want this baby more than anything. I never brought up kids, because I knew you had been pregnant before. You had a nightmare one night. I never said anything because I did not want to upset you.” I looked up in the mirror to find Austin gazing at me. I couldn’t help my smile.

“I love you. I promise this is the first step for me to keep you in the light. From here on out I will try my best to keep you out of the dark.” I spoke innocently. Austin nodded and rested his chin on my shoulder. He moved his mouth to my ear and breathed out, “I love you more.”

“Close your eyes.” Austin spoke into my ear. I did as I was told. “On the count of three we will both open our eyes and find out if we are going to parents. Together. This will be our first step we take together.” I nodded and heard Austin grab a stick. “One. Two…” Austin nervously trailed off.


“Three…” On cue we opened our eyes.

Notes

Sorry it is has been so long!! Life is a bitch! Plus I had serious writters block. I feel like this is becoming more cliche than I wanted, but I have a lot of stuff planned out to make it uncliche! :D There is only going to be about 5-8 more chapters of this, then I will post the sequel!!

Thank you everyone who has subscribed, voted, and commented! Comments encourage me to update faster!

What do you think? Do you think they are going to have a baby? Do you think this is a good or bad thing for their relationship right now??

Love you guys! Have a great day! :D