Unseen Love

~Tina’s POV~

I woke up in Austin’s arms, but he was still asleep. I was too uncomfortable to stay there next to him, so I decided to get up and get some coffee.

After I got back from getting coffee, I saw that Austin was still asleep. I looked at the clock and it was six in the morning.

“Damn, it’s early.” I whispered under my breath. I was looking around for some clothes, when I stumbled on a bright pink duffle bag.

I smirked, because I knew Tori had brought it when they visited. I opened the bag and found nothing but clothes. I headed to the bathroom to changes my clothes.

As I was pulling my clothes out a journal fell out. I looked down and realized it was my old journal. Before I went blind I would write down all my thoughts. It helped me vent when I was alone.

I made my way back to the couch and decided to read some of my old thoughts. I was reading for about 45 minutes, when I realized I was silently crying. All of my old demons seemed to have jumped out of the journal and attacked me. I picked up a pin and decided to write what I was feeling.

‘Thinking about everything that has been happening to me the past couple of days has me feeling over whelmed. First I regain my eyesight, I see Austin and fall in love with him all over again, have the man in my dreams give me a promise ring, and promise me that he will never hurt me the way Connor did. I know he will never hurt me the way Connor did, but will he ever get tired of me? What if I lose my eyesight again and he leaves me? No, he will not leave me we have been through this already. He loves me just as much as I love him. Tori reassured me of it.

I guess the real reason I am thinking that he will get tired of me is because, I am hoping he will and leave me. Journal you know that before I went blind I was really messed up. Even before I met Connor. I was anorexic and I would always think of cutting myself, but at the same time, nothing really set me to the edge to pick up a razor and make the cut. I am afraid that now I can see, I will be able to see all the mistakes with my body, see the way people look at me and judge me for my appearance other than getting to know the real me. Yes, I put up a front just so people won’t think that something is seriousl wrong with me. I pretend to me tough like a brick wall. I hate having people pity me. But most of all, I am terrified to have all my demons flood back. I know if I ever let my demons come back then I won’t be able to handle that. I know I should tell Austin, but what it scares him? Can Austin be the one person to save me from myself? I really can’t lose him. I am too selfish to tell him everything, and he leave. If I tell him to read you, journal, he will leave. He had to put up with me while I was blind, I can’t have him deal with my insecurities also. I can’t let myself be that selfish. Can I? No. I can’t let myself drag down a good man like Austin. I will leave him. I have to save him from myself. There is no going back for me. I am inconsiderate. I am an egotistic bitch. It is just-‘

“Babe, What are you doing up so early?” Austin asked, causing me to jump. I slammed my journal shut, while trying to wipe away any trace of tears left on my face.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“Almost eleven thirty.” I have been reading and writing for four hours now.

“Val, why have you been crying? What is that? Are you okay?” Austin asked. It is the first time Austin I had seen his face when he is concerned. I don’t like it. I feel bad making him worry.

“It is my old journal. I use to write in it every day before I went blind. I guess Tori brought it back to me. I found it in my duffle bag and decided to write in it again…” I began to trail off. I felt tears well up in my eyes again. I stood up, threw my journal on the seat, and stormed to the bathroom letting the tears fall.

‘This can’t be happening to me. I guess my peaceful couple of day I asked for are up?’




~Austin’s POV~


Why does Val look so upset? Have I done something to upset her? The past couple of days have been amazing. It has been the time of my life, besides the feeling of being on stage, but still pretty damn close.

I looked at the door with a confused look on my face. Do I run after her? Should I give her space to calm down? Or do I pry?

I stood up from the bed to head towards the bathroom when I felt something push me towards the seat Val was sitting at. Her journal was sitting there. Open. It was on the last page she had been writing in. I saw tear drops all on the page. Why was he crying so hard? I bent over to pick it up.

‘Don’t read it Austin. It is personal to her. She might get more upset. Go check on her instead. If she wants you to know then she will let you in. If not then it is her call.’ I nodded in agreement with my thoughts, and set the journal down. Just as I set it down I saw my name.

I didn’t give my head another second to change my mind. I began reading the page.

‘Why does she think I am still going to hurt her? Does she really think I am going to leave her? I love her. I promised her.’ I began to read further into her thoughts when I came across

‘…I was anorexic and I would always think of cutting myself…’

‘Oh my god. Val. This isn’t true. She loves herself to much. She is to bubbly and happy to have these types of thoughts.’ I finished reading the page. I realized I had been crying the whole time of reading the page. I wiped the remainder of tears from my face, while turning around to head towards the bathroom once more. As I was turning around the door open then slammed shut. I threw the journal down and ran towards the bathroom door.

“Val, please open the door. Yes I read your journal and you can be mad at me all you want. But I need you to listen to me when I say this. I love you. I am never going to leave you. I refuse to let you leave my life because you are not the only selfish person in this relationship. I will not let you walk out of my life a second time. Please Val. Please open the door. Let me help you. I am the one person who going to help you. Let me be the one to help you?”




~Tina’s POV~



My crying had gotten worst when I slammed that door. Just the thought of Austin reading my PRIVATE thoughts pissed me off.

How could he? I guess I didn’t really give him an option though. Now that he knows the true reason for the tears can I really believe him? I am feeling all of the trust I have built up with him crumble down.

The soft words of kindness… of love he is speaking is making my heart believe. Why can’t my mind be as naïve as my heart? I decided to meet in the middle of both my heart and brain.

I will give his a chance.

I opened the door to see Austin crying. I couldn’t take the look of him in tears. I fell to the ground and began sobbing even more. Austin fell to the ground next to me pulling me in close to him. I cried into his bare chest, and he cried into my shoulder.

“I mean what I told you the day I gave you the promise ring. I really do love you and plan on protecting you. Even if that means I have to protect you from yourself I will.” I nodded my response and continued to cry. Austin kissed the top of my head and began rubbing my lower back. We stayed in that position until I fell asleep.


I woke up snuggled into Austin, with him humming When You Can’t Sleep At Night. I nuzzled my body closer to Austin. He giggled a little bit then pulled my face up to him.

“You know I am here for you. I always will be. I promise.” Austin swore with a reassuring look on his face.

“That is what they all told me.” I looked back down. I noticed Austin’s scar and began tracing it with my fingers.

“I am not telling you, Val. I am promising you. Add it to all the other things I promised you when I gave you that ring. Please don’t think about any of those things you wrote about. I don’t even think you should read that journal, nor write in it. You are different from the girl you used to be. You are much stronger than that. I know. I see it. I also read some of your other pages while you were asleep, so I am telling you the truth when I say you are different. The earlier pages were written by a girl who didn’t know who she was or what her purpose was. She wanted to independent and strong, but, instead, you were weak willed and scared. Now when I look at you I see a strong girl that has been through more shit than any anyone should endure. You are just confused and in shock. You went through hell and back. This is normal, but please let me help you.”

How could I really decline his offer? “Okay. I believe you.” I really do believe in my heart that Austin means everything he has promised, but why is my brain refusing to believe as well? Maybe it is fact that I have been hurt and left countless numbers of times.

Why can’t I be happy for long periods of time? Someone or something always gets in the way. This time it is me I am fighting against. A war between my heart and my brain. But only one will come out on top.


And that will be my heart.

Notes

Hey guys!! I would love some feedback please! Even if it is harsh. I want to know how you feel about reading this. I would really appreciate it!

What do you think will happen with Val?! Will she really let Austin in? OR will so go to her inner demons for comfort?

Also, I am starting a collab with a friend of mine on PTV!! The URL is below! If you are a fan of PTV then check it out! If not, but want a fun read, then check it out!

http://www.piercetheveilfanfiction.com/Story/30218/What-If-You-Were-The-Secret/

Please Subscribe/Comment/Vote!!

A big thanks to everyone who has already done so!

I love you guys! Have a joyful read! :D