Believe You Me

I was scared.

No, that’s not the right word.

Hold on, give me a minute.

Frightened?

No, no.

Terrified.

Yeah, I was terrified. Julie was with me for a year and 6 months. She couldn’t leave me. Not yet. I wasn’t ready to part ways with her just yet. I didn’t think I would ever be.

I sat on the chair in the waiting room. I could heard the TV in the background, Casey on the phone, probably calming his parents. Vic was sitting next to me, on the phone with Jaime and Tony. I had Mia in my arms. She tried lifting her little head up and it fell back on my shoulder. I turned and looked at her, seeing how much she resembled me. She made small coo sounds and I smiled, tears spilling from my eyes and I held her close, rocking back and forth.

“Mommy will be fine. Everything is going to be just fine.” I saw doctors walking in and out of the room and I got up, pacing the room with Mia still in my arms.

“Give me the baby, you need the fresh air.” I heard next to me. I turned seeing Tony standing there and I handed Mia to him, nodding and walked out. I walked out of the hospital and to a nearby bench, sitting and taking out a cigarette. I lit it, inhaling it and instantly relaxing. I rested my elbows on my knees, leaning forward and sighing, staring at the cement.

“You’ll be fine. You just need to fight for Mia and me. You need to remember that we have a family and Mia might get lonely in the future. You’re a fighter, don’t let me down.” I whispered, hoping that they would reach Julie. I finished my cigarette, throwing it away and walked back inside. Tony was sitting with Mia asleep in his arms. We waited another four hours until Dr. Evans walked out and the five of us stood up.

“Before you all ask,” Dr. Evans raised his hand, stopping us mid-sentence. “I have good news and bad news.”

“Good news.” Casey blurted out.

“Julie is fine right now; she’s asleep.” Dr. Evans spoke. I let out the breath I was holding and then he began again. “The bad news is that the cancer spread. She runs the risk of it reaching her heart if we don’t perform the surgery as soon as possible.” He spoke.
We all stayed quiet and I ran a hand through my hair. “Mike,” I looked up at Dr. Evans and he was looking at me. “as her husband, you have to make the final decision. She either gets the surgery or she doesn’t.” I didn’t have to think twice about it.

“Do it. Do it as soon as you can; the sooner the better.” Dr. Evans nodded and handed a nurse nearby his clipboard.

“Alright, I will start it right now. We’ll transfer her to the surgery room and start. You men head home and rest up. I will call you to let you know when to come back.” We said our thanks and walked out, knowing Dr. Evans had everything under control. Casey dropped Mia and I home and I walked in, laying her in her crib and turning on the small music box. She was still sleeping and I watched as she slept soundly. I smiled, pushing her very short brown hair back.

“No matter what happens, I’ll always be here. You’re my number one girl.” I whispered, lifting the crib gate and locking it. I took a shower, taking out the smell of smoke and eventually I just sat on the shower floor.

I prayed for I don’t know how long. I just know that by the time I was done, I felt a huge pain in my chest and I cried, feeling hopeless and alone. I got myself up, turning the water off and wiping the water and tears away. I wrapped the towel around my hips, walking to the bedroom and changed into a pair of boxers and pajama pants. I laid down on the bed and knocked out.

Notes

Sorry for not updating! My weekend has been... confusing.

How was your Valentine's Day guys? If you guys read the authors note, in a previous chapter I mentioned that after 4 1/2 years of dating my boyfriend, we broke up. Well, I woke up on Valentine's Day to him on my counter, eating MY FUCKING CEREAL!

Apparently my mother let him in before she left for work and he waited for me to wake up. He got me a two roses and turtle chocolates.

That little shit left me confused. But anyway, if you want to hear more of it, which none of you do, send me a message and ask. The little bitch is sitting next to me right now watching a fucking movie.