Its been a week now. I sat calmly next to Tony, who was watching a movie, while Jaime sat on a chair across from me,keeping an eye on my upset body. Vic and Mike were arguing in the back and so far it was really pissing me off. I was getting bored and I didn't even know what movie Tony was watching but whatever it was he kept whimpering and sighing. It was giving me a head ache. Jaime watched me intently so I hissed at him, just like a cat would.

"Vic you dont fucking get it! I fucking still love her!" Mike's voice erupted from the bunk, making me sigh and stand up quickly. I'm gonna go for a fucking walk to get away. Jaime jumped up just as quickly as I did and followed me over to the fridge. I took out a bottle of water then made my way into the small bathroom, swipping the bottle of pain meds and taking 4. Oh gods please stop my head ache. I thought silently.

"Where are you going?" The skunk asked and I shrugged. I didnt want him to follow me.

"Im going for a walk you Ditz. Is that so wrong?" I growled pulling on my vans and making my way off the bus. I knew where I was going. It wasn't everyday when you were going to the place where your friend fell trying to save your stupid ass.

"Alice! Get back here!" The skunk's voice sounded as I walked down the street away from the bus to the rail road bridge. I wasnt going to jump, I didn't want to die just yet but so far my memorys were comming back piece by piece from looking at different things and hearing names.

Jeff was in jail now awaiting trial for abuse so hurray. Im free from him but the house is quite and I dont know what to do with the pets. I conviced the guys to let me bring the 3 cats on the bus and now I needed a place for Swanson. Umm maybe Vic wouldnt mind? Yeah 3 cats and a dog this should be fun.

I walked closer to the bridge, picturing a boy and girl walking across it. The girl laughing at the boy's faces he's making and she draws them carefully. I close my eyes as I cross over the thick beams and take deep breathes. Ive been afraid of heights since before I could remember. And now I was crossing over a half a mile wide shallow river that had the ability to swallow me whole if I fell.

'Ooooh Welcome to my little tea party, Alice.
Your just so late (just so late)
Where have you gone my dear?
Hiding around the Red Queen. (Red Queen...Red Queen)

Dont give me that look my love,
Just be glad you aren't me.
My mind's caving in all around you and me
Just be glad you isnt me.

Your fighting again, my dear sweet thing.
Trying to stop all of the hating.
Oh my dear Alice what do you bring?
Oh your making me excited..." I sang out softly remembering my good friend Matthew. I sat down on the corner of the wood making my way onto the concrete platform where Matt fell trying to save me.

It was a cold December afternoon past 3 in the afternoon since the sun still shone fairly bright aganist the dark clouds. I was very upset and I didn't want to live anylonger. I was being bullied really badly after moving back to Pa and today was no different. I wanted the pain to stop but yet I couldn't think of anything other than jumping off the bridge and slitting my wrists. The day was slowly getting darker but yet I still crossed the bridge halfway across to where I am now and made my way over to the edge.

"So Long and Good Night." I sang softly pulling a razor from my pocket and I slipped falling down with a flop because of ice. Pain shot up my back as I rubbed my butt.

"Owww...Even Life's mocking me now. Just great." I muttered under my breathe and took my jacket off of my frame. I was still loosing thenweight I had gained when I was 14 but it didnt matter, I still was a hidious pig. I rolled up my long sleeves and began to slice away at my left forearm. It was alway something I did when I was about to cry. I didnt like cutting but it helped me. It made me become distracted. The blood ran in little rivers and my mind finally broke.

'Youre always gonna be a fatass ugly pig Alice. You deserve to die. Just jump off the bridge after you cut the other wrist up. Go do it whore.' A little voice sounded in my head. I felt tears cascade down my cheeks and I nodded. Yeah, I did deserve to drop dead. I deserved to get bullied and shit. I deserved every beating I received.

I switched the blade into my left and dragged it several times across the flesh, watching how the blood bubbled up through the cut and began to bead apart in a line. It was amazing. I continued to slice away at my arm watching the blood bubble and run down my arm as snow began to fall.

Soon an inch of snow covered the platform I sat on became red from the blood running from my scared flesh. If I lived then it would scar, but I wasn't planing on living. I was planing on death wrapping his beautiful arms around my being and taking me home.

My phone sounded from my bag so I slowly reached for it. My hands were shaky and it hurt to pick stuff up but still, I opened the phone and held it to my ear.

"Heloo?" I slured softly. I was loosing a lot of blood, really fast too.

"Alice? Where the fuck are you? Im so worried!" My sister Jennifer's voice sounded from the other and I shrugged.

"Where are you?" I asked and sighed standing up.

"Im looking for you! Im talking to Matthew and Daniel but they havnt seen you since school got out. Actually since lunch? Where are you? Were supposed to go dress shopping. Remember?" She asked and I slapped my forehead. Shit! I forgot!

"Can we do it tomorrow? Im sorta busy." I whispered over the phone and I heard her sigh.

"Fine but no more avoiding it!!" She snapped and the line went dead. Oh well, Oh well.

I leaned onto the phone post looking at the blood snow angel on the ground with awe. It was quite beautiful. I sat upon the edge, swinging my feet to an imaginary beat that came to my mind. It was beautiful and I loved it. God only knows hoe.long I was sitting there because I heard two different male voices next to me when I opened my eyes up.

"Damn it Alice! What the fuck did you do?" Matt yelled seeing the blood around me and on my clothing. I shrugged as Daniel pulled me to my feet while Matt got into my face. He screamed somethings I didnt understand but I pulled away moving closer to the edge.

It was almost like slow motion. I slipped falling backwards and Matt leapt forward pushing me to his boyfriend before he slipped over te edge. I let out a scream as Matt fell through the air, one arm streched out reaching for me to grab his hand. He hit the shallow water below with a sickening crack and I screamed again. Daniel pulled me into his arms, holding my sobbing being as he silently cried too.

I looked upon the water now and let out a gulp. It was quite upsetting. I lost Matty and then Daniel hangs himself from the bridge almost a week and a half later. Death your very greedy. I sat down on the platform in the dead center just staying silent as I heard footsteps running across the beams. They had found me again.

"Alice..." Mike panted slightly holding his hands on his hips while bending over slightly. I stood up and looked at him once before rolling my eyes and began to walk away.

"Wait, Alice...I need to tell you something." He said grabbing my arm and pulling me into his chest. 'I love you." He whispered kissing me on the lips. I felt a spark run through me but still I pulled away, looking him dead in the eyes and replied.

"You love me, just the way Im not."

Notes

So have an update! Yay!!! I hope you loved it!!
Please comment on the story. I really would like some input about it.
Have a Wonderful Night and Have a Gay Day.
xoxo
Abby
ps Please dont steal the bad lyrics. Those are my bands and my own so please leave them be.