The next morning, I woke up feeling a bit better. The Oliver phase of my life was over and I'd never have to deal with him again, but my heart panged because I wasn't over Jaime.

Stop this. You need to stop being so goddamned selfish. His career, his life, his everything is halfway across the world from you. You can't jeopardize his career.

But was I really jeopardizing his career? Had I made a horrible mistake? The realization dawned on me that maybe the reason I came back to London was because I was still under the illusion my life was here. In reality, my life had been Oliver. I had come back because I thought my life was her when it was really in Oliver. Now it was time to find a new path. What was I even doing here?

I needed to book some plane tickets!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*JAIME'S POV*

I woke up to messy, flattened hair and bags under my eyes. Great... I had been without Carter less than a week and I was already falling apart. We had band practice today so I slapped on a beanie, some sweats, and drove over there.

The guys had already unpacked all of our instruments and they were all being lovey dovey with their girlfriends. Rubbing it in my fucking face that I didn't have one...

We practiced for an hour before hormones got the best of the guys and they were all eye fucking the girls. I would've gladly eye fucked Carter had she been here. But she left me. She fucking left me to fall apart on my own while she got on with her life in London.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*A WEEK LATER*

I was arriving at the airport where Alex had agreed to pick me up. After short goodbyes to my parents and packing up my meager belongings I hadn't already taken with me to Warped, I had hopped on the plane with no regrets. I was moving to Baltimore to start my new life.

I walked through the airplane gate and there stood Alex Gaskarth in all his pop punk glory with Jack and Zack. We stared at each other for a second, then I broke into a sprint. I hopped into his surprisingly strong arms and clung to him for dear life. It felt so good to be back with the guys. I knew I had made the right decision in coming, I no longer belonged in London. My home was here with these crazy assholes.

"I missed ya, kid," Alex laughed, kissing me on the cheek and setting me down.

"Me, too," Jack fake sobbed and wrapped me in his noodly arms.

I wasn't expecting Zack to say anything, but even he chimed in with a "I missed you". He hugged me and I was surprised. Had the guys missed me so much that even Zack wanted me back? I laughed as I pulled away and wiped a stray tear I hadn't known was there.

"What do you wanna do first?" Alex smiled.

"Wanna get drunk and have an orgy?" Jack suggested.

I punched him in the arm and giggled, "You know I don't drink."

"So the orgy's still on the table?"

"Shut up, Jackery!" I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"I know," Zack spoke up. "let's get Chinese and watch shitty movies."

We all murmured our agreement, ambled over to baggage claim, and drove off on a quest for Chinese food. I was still surprised Zack wasn't being an asshole to me. He was sitting next to me in the back of Alex's car, staring at his phone. He saw me looking, though, and winked, the trace of a smile gracing his lips.

We had watched about three hours worth of movies now and the jet lag was starting to hit me. I was currently watching some foreign drama in between Alex and Zack. Alex was sleeping in what looked like a very uncomfortable position and Jack was already in bed. Zack watched intently as the evil guy killed the little girl. I honestly wasn't paying attention anymore.

"You still awake?" I heard Zack whisper and look at me.

"Mmmmhmmm..." I hummed in response.

"Can we talk?" He asked sheepishly.

"What about?" I asked.

"Just... come here," he said, taking me by the wrist and leading me out on the front porch. I started shivering so he took off his sweatshirt and handed it to me. I graciously accepted and threw his three-sizes-too-big sweatshirt over my shivering form.

"Okay," he took a deep breath. "I know we got off on the wrong foot. But I don't want this to be awkward with us living in the same house and all. I mean, honestly, I was just pissed you took Rian's spot. I've known him for forever and I guess I just thought you were trying to take over the band and I'm really sorry. Can we just... can we be friends?"

"Um... sure," I said taken aback.

"Cool," he smiled, then disappeared back inside.

What just happened??

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*JAIME'S POV*

My tour manager just called and told me we're going on a fuCKING EUROPEAN TOUR NEXT WEEK. It was all I could do not to scream at the guy. I haven't even gotten a full week off. I know the guys were pissed, but I was less pissed. While I definitely wasn't happy about going on tour right after Warped, at least I might be able to find Carter and beg her to come back.

I looked down at my newly carved wrist and thought of her. I was destroying myself because of some bitch who doesn't love me. She didn't even care about what happened to me.

Get a grip on yourself, Jaime. She's gone. No need to cry about it. Get the fuck over it.

But I can't. I love her.

So?? You thought you loved Stephanie. Just get over it.

I reached into the cabinet and dug out the gauze to hide my masterpiece before any of the guys could find it. Next week, in Europe, I would find Carter. I would show her how good I was doing. I was going to show her I was over her, whether it was true or not.

I looked back in the slightly dirty mirror and tried to convince myself that I could do it without her. I could be okay.

I wonder if she's okay without me...

Notes

I FINALLY GOT IT UP. WOO.
So, yeah. Why do you think Zack's being so nice?
What do you think is going to happen with Jaime?
I'd really love to hear from y'all! c: <3