After landing in Heathrow and having a long talk in the middle of some fancy restaurant with my parents about my future, I was finally home. I plopped down on my perfectly made bed in my perfectly cleaned bedroom, because that's what my mother did. She was a neat freak. She made it prim and proper for when I came back, but I was happy to see she left the majority of my posters on the wall. I even found my back-up laptop charger that I thought I lost tucked into one of my desk drawers. It felt strangely good to be home.

Good in the fact that I was finally home. Strange because it was almost as if the past year hadn't happened. It was as if I was visiting for a holiday, not because I had nowhere else to go.

I checked my phone, hoping for something anything from Jaime, but found wishes of a good flight from a few of my Warped friends and excited texts about coming to Baltimore from Alex and Jack. I was definitely excited to go live with them, but I was still devastated from Jaime and Oli and Rian and Austin and David... I had violated my morals as a straight-edge, and I had been violated. The summer whirlwind that was Jaime had left an empty spot in my heart, and now I was real feeling the devastation from not being with him and not being with Oliver and not being able to talk to Gavin or Ruby or Kathy or Logan.

A knock came at the door and my mom appeared. "Sweetie," she said gently. "Oliver's here."

"Tell him to leave," I sighed, pulling my old, worn comforter around me.

She smiled sadly at me and left. I mean, she had never really liked Oli, but I knew she was sad that we had broken up after what? Six years? I think we all thought I would get married to Oliver, but I hadn't really explained to her about Jaime yet. I wouldn't go into the gory details, but I did need to tell her.

"She's in her room," I heard my dad tell the asshole at the door. "You can go see her, but I swear to God if you hurt her one more time..."

"Yes, sir," Oliver replied solemnly. I heard a few shuffling footsteps and then a small knock at my door.

"Come in, asshole," I rolled my eyes, and laid so I was facing the wall instead of him.

The door creaked open and Oli gave me a small 'hi'.

"What the fuck do you want?" I muttered through gritted teeth.

"I want us to be okay," Oliver tried.

"You should've thought of that before you cheated on me with that red-headed slut!" I scoffed, letting my mind flash back to the first day of Warped when I met her.

"I-I know, Car... and I'm REALLY sorry. I just-" He tried to explain.

"No, Oliver. You've beat me and put me down and cheated on me. A small part of me will always love you, but a bigger part of me will ALWAYS hate you. We dated for SIX FUCKING YEARS AND YOU CHEATED ON ME!" I bolted upright, not afraid to let the tears stream down my face. "IF YOU HADN'T FUCKING CHEATED, I'D NEVER HAVE DATED JAIME AND I'D NEVER HAD FUCKED DAVID AND I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN RAPED AND I WOULDN'T HAVE MY HEART TORN OUT BECAUSE I PUT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE FIRST. I WOULDN'T BE HERE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU. YOU FUCKING RUINED EVERYTHING! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" I wailed.

Oliver hung his head and took it. It was nice to be the one yelling for once, and I was only getting started.

I took a deep breath. "I gave you everything. Six years of my life, my virginity, my loyalty, my love, my secrets. But you just threw it all away to be with one red-headed slut that barely lasted six months. Are you happy now? Sleeping in an empty bed, in an empty house, all because you couldn't keep your dick in your pants? You've made me just. Like. You!" I pointed an accusing finger at his watery eyes. "I've destroyed the love of my life because you hurt me so badly, I didn't want him to have to give up his life. I'm a monster just like you."

"But, Carter, I still love you. You can come back and live with me and we can start over," Oliver pleaded. "I can be the love of your life again."

"Why would you still want me Oliver?" I asked coldly. "I'll only eat your heart. You've turned me into a monster."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I woke up with bedhead and tired, puffy eyes. I had cried my body weight in tears after Oliver finally left. He tried calling me four times this morning, while I was asleep. I picked up the phone and hit the call back button.

"Carter?" Oliver's tired voice sounded hopeful.

"Yeah. I'll be by to pick up my stuff at two. Have it ready," I spat, then hung up. It felt good to be breaking his heart.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I pulled into the gate of Oliver's mansion (that I helped decorate, may I add) at exactly two o'clock. The gate buzzed open and I sped up his unnecessarily long driveway, anxious to get my things and get out. I had a rape condom in, because after the incident with Rian, I didn't trust guys like I used to.

I knocked on the front door once, before it swung open. I was greeted by Matt, who told me Oliver was in bad shape. Matt had always been my favorite out of all the guys, since he had still tried to keep up our friendship after Oli dumped me. We had hung out occasionally, but it just wasn't the same. I neared the living room, only to find half-packed boxes.

"Oliver... um... Oli had a bit of a tantrum and started unpacking everything..." Matt looked down at his feet. He got most of your clothes and CDs before I could stop him."

"It's okay," I reassured him, smiling through my perfectly glossed lips. "I'll go get them real quick."

I walked up the all-too-familiar stairs in my high heels, back to what was once my room. My heart hurt, knowing this would be the last time I'd ever be back here, but I knew it was for the best.

I walked into our, I mean, Oliver's room, only to find more destruction that he had caused. He had broken a window, thrown the bed on its side, smashed one of his favorite guitars, and shattered a mirror. He was lying on the floor, crying. I knocked lightly on the door, carefully measuring his reaction.

He looked at me through bloodshot eyes, silently begging me to stay. I shook my head.

"Carter," his voice shook as he prepared himself for a speech I was sure wouldn't persuade me. "I need you. You're the blood in my veins. You're the air I breathe. These past two months I've been slowly falling apart. When I had to sleep in an empty bed lat night, it hit me hard. I can't do this without you. I can do touring as long as I can convince myself you'll be at home waiting for me. Last night, I had to take sleeping pills, and even then, I only got four hours of sleep. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can hardly breathe without you... and it's only been one night. I will fall apart without you by my side. Please. Please don't leave me."

I looked him in the eyes. I looked at the tears welling in his eyes. I knew he was telling the truth, but if I came back, we'd get back to the point where he was beating me for burning a pizza. I looked away, pulled my clothes from the closet, and walked towards the door.

"Carter," Oliver pleaded.

"Oliver..." I sighed, having a hard time meeting his gaze. "You need to learn a lesson. You can't treat me like shit and then get me back again. I hate to be the one to break your heart like this, but it's for the best. You'll fall in love again and get married, I promise. It just won't be me."

Notes

Song Credit: I'm A Monster - Of Mice & Men
So, I FINALLY got the real first chapter up.
Also, 14 SUBSCRIBERS ALREADY? Y'ALL ARE THE BESTESTESTEST <3