*Vic’s POV*

“So what do you think of that Jaime kid?” Kellin asked me. He sat on my bed and my head rested on his lap.

I shrugged. “Can’t really judge yet can I? I love the way he smiles so much though. He seems one of those guys that are different, but yet very secure about themselves and have a very positive attitude, like always.”

I saw a flash of jealousy in Kellin’s eyes, so I gave him a quick kiss on his lips. “He is not the guy I would fall for though,” I told Kellin, just to make sure he wouldn’t get worried. “I like the caring, sweet kind of guy. Like you. I mean, I like bubbly people as friends but you know, he would never understand me like you do. You’ve helped me so much Kells, never forget that. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***
There is no better feeling in the world than waking up next to Kellin. I know it sounds cliché to say that he looked cute, but he did. Actually, I think our relationship was kind of cliché.We had one of those relationships you might find in romantic comedies. In the movies they are usually hetero, but still. Kellin has helped me through a lot and I can never thank him enough for that. Of course, I still had my up and downs and sometimes I was still too hard on myself, but everything got a lot better since I got with Kellin. I loved him so much.

Kellin turned around and disrupted me from my thoughts. “Good morning,” I smiled as he opened his eyes.

“Ugh,” he groaned. I knew that was all he was going to say for the coming few minutes. Kellin was not much of a morning person. It took him long to wake up properly and even longer to get out of bed.

We had about an hour before we had to go for school, so I decided to get out and take a shower. I tried to ignore my arms as I pulled off my clothes, but I couldn’t. My arms were truly hideous. Relatively new cuts were covering up old scars. I stepped into the hot shower and I tried to chase the bad thoughts away, the way Kellin had taught me.

“You shouldn’t be mad at yourself for the scars you once made,” Kellin had said to me when I told him about my feelings of self-hatred for the first time. “You should be proud of yourself, because you are trying to recover. You should tell yourself you did a good job for whatever time you went without and you should be proud of yourself for that too. I know how every day is a struggle for you, so you should congratulate yourself on each day you stay away from the blades. It’s so pointless to beat yourself up over things that happened in the past. I am proud of you, Vic, and you should be too.”

Whenever I recalled that conversation butterflies were flying around in my stomach. Kellin was so good for me. He was really the best boyfriend I could wish for.

When I was done showering I went back to my room, finding out that Kellin fell back asleep. “Hey Kellin,” I said softly. When he didn’t reply I sat down on his stomach. “Get up you lazy shit,” I shouted. “You know, we got this sucky thing called school today.”

“Vic fuck off,” Kellin mumbled. He tried to get up, but he couldn’t as my full weight was resting on his stomach. “Get off me you fatty,” he said louder now, trying to throw me off. I laughed at him when he couldn’t.

“Dick,” he grunted. But then a small smile appeared on his face and he started tickling me. I rolled off him and fell on the floor. Kellin laughed so hard he fell right on me. He stood up and smiled.

“At least I’m awake now,” he said. He gave me his hand and pulled me up too. “I guess we need to hurry up or we’ll be late.”

I grunted. “And whose fault is that?”

“Yours,” he laughed. “You were the one who was sitting on me when I was trying to get up. We could’ve been in time.”

I rolled my eyes, though inside I was smiling. Kellin was amazing in every single way.

*Jaime’s POV*

It was my second day at the new school and I didn’t know if I liked it or not. In one way I was really looking forward to see what this day would bring me, as I could finally really get along well with some people and they seemed to like me too. In another I was not looking forward to that terrible feeling I would definitely get in my stomach as soon as I saw Vic again. But hey, it’s not like I had a choice anyway. Before I knew it I was sitting in my first class of the day, chemistry. And I was alone.

My table was in the back of the class and right next to the window. I had put in my earphones. It was against the rules to listen to music in class, but I could hide most of the wire under my shirt and under my hair. I did this at my old school all the time and no teacher had ever noticed. I wouldn’t know what to do without music. It drove most of the loneliness away. Right now I envied every person in this classroom who had someone to sit next to. I felt so lonely.

I actually got through this lesson quite well, until a pen was thrown right against my head. As I was looking out of the window, I had no idea who had thrown it. I heard the whole class laugh even over my music. I put the volume even louder and turned my attention back to whatever was outside. Not that I was actually looking at it. Everything was just a blur of bad thoughts.

See, I would get bullied. Nobody liked me anyway. Why didn´t I see that before. Honestly, I couldn’t even blame them for it. I didn’t like myself either. I was stupid and annoying. I didn’t have talent for anything whatsoever. I was just a big weirdo. What was I even doing here?

Something else hit me, right in my face. A piece of paper fell on my table. I didn’t open it. I didn’t want to know what was written inside. I just shoved it on the floor. Then I stood up.

“Can I please leave? I don’t feel that well. I might feel better if I take a short walk outside.”

The teacher nodded. “Do I need to send another student to come with you?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No, I’ll be fine,” I replied. I had to try hard to keep my voice from shaking. God damn it I was such a pussy. I got out of the classroom and soon I found myself running out of the school. I sat down on a bench outside of the school while I tried to keep myself from burying my nails into my arms. I didn’t want to be dealing with an addiction too right now.

It was my second day at the new school and I was already thinking about relapse. Way to go Jaime.