I was walking through the harsh winter winds aimlessly. The street lights had flickered on long ago but I continued to trudge forward. My arms were crossed and my head was slouched in a way similar to a fretful dog, tucked between my shoulders. All I wanted was to think, going home didn’t seem to be an option.

“Someone saw…someone saw Tony kiss me,” I whispered aloud. The damn creak of the door upstairs seemed to constantly play over and over again. As expected, worst case scenario was immediately present in my thoughts.

“If Vic saw,” I choked, “If Vic saw then…”

‘You think he’d hate you,’ Phe finished with a sigh.

I nodded my head, fighting off the urge to cry.

‘He’s going to be beyond pissed,’ she deadpanned, ‘But once he understands you didn’t kiss
Tony, he’ll let it go.’

I simply can’t handle Vic being upset with me again. Being the reason for his sadness has never been a goal of mine. All I wanted was to sort things out not make my friendship with Tony more complicated! Things were going so well…All of my questions were answered and I thought we could seriously start from scratch. Why is it that as soon as we actually got somewhere, things took a turn for the worst? I’ll be the first to admit the kiss was amazing. But the feeling I experienced with Tony was more like sparks. When Vic and I kissed, it was fireworks. If Tony kissed me before Vic came along, I’d probably be ecstatic; I’d be at home, lying in bed thinking of him all night. I can’t get myself to say I simply don’t like Tony anymore though…there was something, just not as strong as the ‘something’ I felt with Vic.

“But I don’t want to tell him,” I sniffled. “This entire situation is just so…complex.”

“But you don’t want to lie either.”

My head shot up at the sound of a familiar voice.

“Zoey?” I whispered.

“In the flesh,” she smirked warmly. “Miss Riley sent me to look for you, she got worried. Can’t blame her though, it is 8 o’clock at night.”

I looked away, “Sorry…”

“Don’t be. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate…I’m sure you can get through whatever it is you’re struggling with though,” she smiled softly.

I attempted smiling back but I’m sure it looked pained. I didn’t want to talk about Tony and Vic with Zoey, I wasn’t comfortable enough with her to spill my guts the moment she spoke a few encouraging words. I do appreciate her kindness though.

Zoey realized the silence and looked away, “If you can survive your own attempt at killing yourself, you can decipher whatever mixed messages a guy is been giving you.”
I felt my heart lurch at the casual mention of my suicide attempt.

“How did you know that it was a boy..?”

With her hands in her coat pockets she smiled gently at me, “I know that look all too well.”

“I don’t want to ta-”

“Then don’t. I won’t pry,” She shrugged. “You coming home or what?”

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Zoey stood in front of the front door and waited for me to hop up the porch steps.

“You first,” she mumbled sheepishly.

I looked confusedly at her but complied nonetheless. As soon as I stepped in the door, five pairs of eyes shifted and looked at me.

‘Guess that’s why she wanted you to walk in first.’'

Vic stopped bouncing his leg and jumped up from the couch.

“Where were you?”

A familiar nervousness swallowed me and stole my ability to speak. Vic, Jaime, Mike, Tony and Miss Riley were all staring anxiously at me for an answer.

“I found her walking a block away from the connivance store,” Zoey piped up. I slowly nodded, my eyes trained on the ground.

“We looked for you, texted you, called you,” Jaime listed with his fingers.

“What happened?” Mike questioned with a worried expression.

I gulped and somehow manage to make eye-contact with the infamously silent Tony Perry, root of my current problem.

“I…I needed to think,” I answered vaguely. I tore my gaze from Tony and looked at a frowning Vic. I slowly but steadily walked towards the steps. I placed my hand on the railing and turned back, making sure my eyes landed on all of their faces.

“…Sorry…”

I ducked my head and quickly retreated up the steps, closing my bed room door behind me.

Upon entering my room, I kicked off my shoes and stripped. Taking another shower and taking off my makeup seemed to troublesome at the moment so I changed into into a pair of striped, navy blue boxers and a loose, matching crop top. I glanced around my room and spotted the bulge in my pants pocket. Slowly, I picked up the discarded skinny jeans, dug out my cell phone and let the jeans fall back on the ground. With a flick of my finger I switched it on and laid back on my bed while it powered up. The phone immediaty began to beep and vibrate to indicate unread text messages and missed calls. I was surprised they didn’t leave a voicemail.

18 Missed Calls
20 New Messages

Vic: “Phoenix?”
Vic: “Phoenix where’d you go?”
Vic: “Do you have any idea why Tony is acting so weird?”
Vic: “You’re freaking me out- I’m calling Miss. Riley right now.
Jaime: “Miss. Riley said she hasn’t seen you. What’s going on?”
Jaime: “If you don’t reply soon, Vic’s gonna assemble a fucking search party. Reply. Please.
Mike: “Squirt, you’re freaking us out over here!”
Mike: “Are you really going to make us hunt you down on the coldest night all month?”
I guiltily sighed and continued to read through the messages. I stiffened once I reached the last message, the only message Tony sent me.
Tony: “Look I’m really sorry Nix. I won’t tell them why you left because I’m sure you wouldn’t want that but I will help them look for you. Just come home.”

I threw my head back and clutched the phone. My eyes felt heavy and my body was beyond exhausted.

I’ll figure this out later…I need sleep.

My phone was carelessly tossed onto the headboard and I found comfort in the depths of my full sized bed, buried under the black silk sheets.

Notes

I don't really like this chapter :\ I wanted something longer but I really needed to explain Nix's confusion about the kiss. It wouldn't flow properly if I jumped into another day. I tried and I didn't like it :| Sooo I hope this holds you over till I update again. I try not to go over a week without updating- it's my new rule! No promises I'll be able to keep up with work and school though v__v Comment, rate, vote, subscribe and all that jazz~~

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Topic of the Day: Should phoenix have walked out or stayed and talked it out? Do you agree with Phe? Comment~~