“You’re running out of time, Nix.”

I looked up at Phe and scowled.

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious!” I snapped. She stared blankly at me till I calmed down a bit.

“…I’m trying… okay?”

Phe ignore my pointed attitude and fell into step with me. I’d been searching my mind for buried drive to live. The only thing I could see were the drops of blood dripping from my gaping cuts and onto the glowing white ground. I’ve constantly thought about the hell I must be putting the guys and Miss. May through; I haven’t had the heart to put back on the head phones.

“Can I show you something?” Phe asked carefully, cutting through the thick silence.

Frustrated with myself and tired, I merely nodded and followed her. We walked for about 15 minutes in silence and I grew impatient.

“Phe, wher-”

“Sh,” she interrupted harshly. I pursed my lips and looked to the side, continuing to follow her. I saw a ghostly looking figure in the distance and stared at it warily. As we drew closer, I felt a pang in my chest. There was a transparent figure that embodied Mike to the T.

“Sup sexy lady,” He winked. I blushed, and crossed my arms as a fail attempt at covering myself up.

“Why don’t you have on a shirt, squirt?” he smirked. My cheeks reddened and I looked away, still not sure about talking to this Mike. I turned to where Phe was and noticed she disappeared.

Of fucking course.

“C’mon, it’s a valid question,” he coaxed. I sighed and sat down- him mirroring me.

“I didn’t want to get blood on it,” I mumbled.

He sighed and looked me dead in my eyes, “You’re breaking my heart.”

I gulped, “I…I know…”

“You know,” he started, leaning back on his hands, “You’re one of the purest souls on this earth- you’ve just got some pretty nasty demons on your back. I’m sure if you pushed harder, you could shake em off.”

I looked up at a very nonchalant Mike with his eyes staring upward. He’d said something so unintentionally poetic and philosophical like it was nothing; he was underrated in the realm of brains.

“You’re faith in me means so much, Mike,” I smiled weakly. I truly felt a slight burst in my stomach and a desire to not disappoint him. The conviction in his tone could make anyone pick themselves up and dust their shoulder off.

“It shouldn’t seem like such a shock- I’ve always believed in you!” he grinned at me. “And besides, if you die the world’s minus a pretty smart girl and I don’t think we can afford it.”

I smiled at him, my eyes closed, “Thanks Mike.”

“No problem,” he winked, his body fading. I slowly stood and looked around for Pheonix.

‘Keep walking forward’, I heard her voice say. I didn’t see her but I listened none the less. I thought back to ‘Mike’ and everything he said about me. It truly made me feel a bit better and see myself in a different light. I tried my best to ignore the fact I missed having a familiar face around, no matter how short a visit it was. I noticed another transparent figure and speed walked toward it.

“Himes!” I smiled once I made out his see through face.

“Hey my little birdie!” he chuckled.

I giggled and marveled at his brilliant grin- It made me feel good to make him smile like that. Jaime and I were on rocky ground before my suicide attempt but he didn’t completely cut me off like Vic and Mike.

“I’m just gonna cut to the chase, Nix.”

I nodded understandingly.

“Why’d you stop talking to me?”

I stared at him in disbelief, “How dare you.”

“What?”

“You cut me off! I begged for you to tell me where Vic and Mike stood when it came to my friendship with them and you’d give me some bull-shit indirect answer and go to hang out at their house. You left me alone!”

He looked down, “You let me.”

My eyes widened and my arms were stiff at my sides.

“You gave up, Nix. The whole point of me talking to you is to get you to realize that you have to fight for the things you want. You have to confront your problems head on or you're going to drive yourself straight into your own darkness.”

there was was a slight pause as my brain summed his entire statement up to be true.

“It makes sense. I stopped bothering you about it and sought comfort in loneliness. I’m so stupid," I sighed, biting my lip.

“Not stupid, just confused,” he corrected. “You don’t know any other way but I want to change that. I want you to think about how much I smile- even when my day is shitty. I'm only human after all! Its not putting up a front or facade, its simply trying to get better and smiling speeds up the process. I always hang around a positive crowd and things eventually get better for me. You can do the same thing. ”

I nodded with fever, “Right. I-I c-can.”

He smiled once I noticed his feet fading away.

“Just know that talking about things and stepping out of your comfort zone a bit won’t kill you- I wouldn’t let it.”

Smiling largely at his fading figure, I replied with, “I know you wouldn’t…thank you.”

Again, I was left alone to think about the short conversation. I didn’t have to be alone. Its okay to depend on others, as long as their willing to help me up instead and pull me down. Taking a deep breath and an educated guess, I continued onward for the next wise ghost.

---

I grew nervous. I haven’t seen a transparent figure of any of the boys in a while and it was unnerving. I then wondered if I could contact Phe like I do when I’m awake.

Phe? Are you there?

‘You’re going the right way. Be patient,’ she advised immediately.

I frowned at the idea of walking for much longer but quickly reassured myself that it was necessary. Ten minutes had passed when I caught sight of another ghostly figure. It was doing simple kick flips on a board and I immediately realized who it was.

“Tony,” I whispered, jogging up to him.

He looked up from his feet with somber eyes and a dim smirk. I smiled anyway.

“Hey Nix,” he greeted, taking the matching translucent board up in his hands.

“Hey Tony!” I smiled, happy to see him.

“Who have you talked to so far?”

“Erm, Mike and Jaime…They were really helpful and I can feel I’m on the verge of waking up.”

He smirked, “Good.”

“Aren’t you gonna drop some knowledge on me or something?” I joked after a slightly prolonged silence.

He chuckled and shook his head, “I think you already know what I’m going to say.”

I quickly shook my head, “No I don’t, honest.”

He put his board beneath feet and threw his hands in his pockets.

“You’re too soft,” he deadpanned.

I flinched. I’d heard this before and now that I think about it I should’ve known he’d bring it up.

“I-I’m getting better. I stood up for myself against T-Tinsley. She left worse off than I did,” I defended. However, I’m sure it was obvious in my eyes that I felt an immense amount of guilt for hitting her.

“That’s not true, you tried to kill yourself,” he quickly retorted aloofly.

I flinched, still not use to the voices of people I knew saying something like that to me. I’ve hardly accepted it myself.

“Being in the state of mind where you can take your own life is worse than any physical injury, Phoenix,” he stated seriously.

I looked up at him, not knowing what to say.

“I can understand you hitting her- hell, I would have slapped her a long time ago had I been in your shoes. Don’t feel bad for her Nix. She lit that fire, baby. Focus on healing your own internal wounds. Being so selfless is what led to your downfall. You give until there’s nothing left- not even for yourself. It’s okay to have a heart but in a world like this, you’ve got to be a bit more of a hard-ass and keep your guard up.”

I stared up at him, entranced in every piece of advice her uttered.

“People will hurt you- but only if you give them the chance.”

There was a stiff hush over the air around us and I clenched my fist.

“You’re right Tony. I was more focused on making you guys happy and figuring out what was wrong between us than myself...I let myself deteriorate and recede back into depression.”

He nodded, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

“Never again,” I announced with every ounce of belief I could muster.

He began to fade just at Mike and Jaime did (starting at his feet and to the top of his head), “One more thing.”

I stared up at him, my head slightly cocked to the side.

“I’m glad you finally stood up for yourself. It’s about time you whooped her ass.”

I laughed and he winked just as his nose had faded away.
Everything he said was true and made me want to work on myself and stop being so child-like. I really was looking at the world with innocent, immature eyes and trying harder than I should have to, to see the positive aspects of my peers. It’s about time I found the positive aspects of myself. I looked in the direction I have to continue down and sighed, dragging my feet nervously to meet the only one left:






Vic.

Notes

Sorry, school's been kicking my ass lately v_v Hope this chapter isn't too shitty since I've wrote each paragraph in the little bit of free time I've had this past week. Vote, Comment, Rate, Subscribe and all that Jazz~~~

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Topic of the Day: Do you agree with what the 'Spirits' in Phoenix's head had to say? Comment, love c: