I Breathe You In With Smoke.
And I Just Want To Fade Away, Into The Sky Under The Sea.
TONY
"Guys, can we head home?" I asked.
"We gotta go get Mike a new bass drum. He tore through another one." I rolled my eyes.
"Really Mike, again?"
"I was pissed, and it just happened." he defended
"He goes through more drums than chicks." Vic chuckled.
"And that's saying something." I laughed under my breath and Vic high fived Jaime.
"Anyways, Can you at least drop me off?"
"Uh, sure?" Jaime mumbled, turning the car around and heading to the house. Mike leaned close to me and I raised my eyebrow.
"You have a thing with Mya, dontcha."
"WHAT?! No!"
"Whoa, what's your problem?" Vic asked. I looked out the window, internally cursing when I felt my cheeks darken slightly. Sure, My's gorgeous, and I may have thought about it once or twice, but shit, not only is she seventeen, but she's Jaime's sister.
Two huge red flags there.
"Thanks." I mumbled, shutting my car door and walking up to the house. Jaime blared the horn as they pulled away and I rolled my eyes, fishing my key out of my pocket and welcoming myself in.
"POPPY!" I whistled. I heard her bark and claw against -what sounded like- Mya's door. I walked up the stairs and knocked.
"Mya?" I asked. After no answer, I jiggled the door knob to find it locked. "My, it's me. Can you open and let Poppy out?" Popps barks only got louder and more frequent.
Poppy only barks like that if the guys or I are in danger. Fuck, is she okay?
"MYA? Open the door, please!" Worry set in and I started kicking the door. Soon enough, I heard the door frame start to splinter from the blows, before I had finally succeeded. Poppy whimpered and jumped up, scratching my leg.
"MY!" I screamed. I walked into her bathroom and saw her on the toilet seat, her head rested against her arm that leaned across the sink. I thought she was sleeping, until I saw the the gashes that littered her arm and thighs, along with a white, empty pill bottle by her feet. I started to panic.
What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?!
I grabbed a small rag and rinsed it, lightly dabbing her cuts while I tried to get her to wake up. She kept making weird noises. But she wouldn't budge. I bit my lip in fear.
"My, I need you to get up. Please." I held up her face and kissed her cheek.
"Please. Think about Jaime, us. Everyone. Please." I started crying. I hugged her as tight as I could. I felt her twitch before she nuzzled her face in the crook of my neck.
"No one cares." She whispered. I kissed the side of her head.
"I care. I swear I care." I picked her up, carrying her to the bed.
"I'm just tired. Wake me up in the morning." She mumbled as her eyes slid closed.
"NO! YOU ARE NOT SLEEPING MYA! STAY UP!" She looked up at me through droopy lids and blown pupils.
What made her do this? Were we not doing something right?
"Antonio, why are you here." She spat, her words were dripping with venom. I cringed at the use of my full name. I hated hearing it coming from her, knowing that she was somehow pissed at me. I walked back into the bathroom got the rag, going back to cleaning her cuts. She just watched me.
"Because. I'm taking care of someone who means alot to me." She looked away and scoffed.
"I don't mean shit to you."
"Really? Because that's a complete and utter lie. You mean so much to me, to all of us."
She remained silent, looking at the rag as it tinted from white, to a crimson red.
I started looking for the first aid kit and found it beside her bed. I cleaned her cuts, her wincing slightly when i started wrapping them. I apologized to her each time I hurt her. When i was done, i sat on the bed, with my legs spread. Had her sit in between them with her back against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her.
I spoke as calmly as i could, just to let Mya know i wasn't mad at her, but concerned.
"My, w-why? Why would you do this?"
MYA
I don't want to keep anything from Tony, but that might've been because I was high right now.
I layed my head back on his chest and breathed in deeply.
" Tony, I just.. I took everything i had in my bag, but i couldn't stomach it. I-I threw some of it up, but I still am pretty high."
Tony just shook his head then looked down at my exposed cuts and scars. How is he not disgusted with me?
"Why.."
I looked down at my bracelets on my unscathed wrist and sighed.
"I'm so sick of everything. The depression, people, the self hate, just life in general. I just want it all to stop. I deserve to be happy again, I deserve to be free."
"And you can be, but this isn't the way to go, beautiful."
"Why not?"
"Because you matter."
"Save it. There are billions of people on earth, how do I have the audacity to even think that I'm anything more than a waste of oxygen."
"Mya, stop. You do matter, I promise. Do you know how happy Jaime was when he found out that he had a little sister? How happy you've made us all with that beautiful smile? How-" He started, but Poppy jumped up on the bed and snuggled into us both. He let out a cute chuckle.
"-How happy you make Popps?" I laughed and slapped his chest before snuggling into his neck. I closed my eyes, feeling darkness attempt to wash over me before he spoke again.
"W-Was it us? Did I do something?" I sighed, keeping my eyes closed as I weakly shook my head.
"No, it wasn't. Can I please sleep?"
"No. I don't want to lose you." I looked up at him and kissed his jaw, my head feeling too heavy to lift.
"You're not going to lose me."
"Am I ever going to come close again?"
"I-I.."
"HOME!" Jaime screamed. Tony sighed and hugged me tighter. I knew what was going through his mind and I didn't want it to happen.
"D-Don't."
"I have to." He whispered, letting me go and hopping off of the bed.
"No please!" I whispered, standing up also, only to hit the floor just as fast. Tony's hands slipped under me, guiding me down safely. He pulled me up and against him, kissing my cheek.
"Just rest, okay?"
"Y-You can't tell them." He bit his lip, lost in thought for a moment before hesitantly nodding.
"I won't.. yet. They have to know about this soon though, My. Okay?"
"I.."
"Okay?" He repeated.
"Y-Yeah."
"Thank you. Now, just please for the love of God get some rest, and promise me you'll never try this again. Please."
"I don't think I can." I whispered.
"Then promise you'll talk to one of us, something. I don't want to go through that again. You're too beautiful to be doing this to yourself."
"Mya!" Jaime screamed and knocked. My eyes widened and I looked at Tony, who was still awaiting an empty promise.
"Promise." I mumbled. He smiled making me blush before walking me to the bed and laying me down, pulling the covers over me. He went to walk out and I shut my eyes tightly, his name coming out of my mouth before I could stop it. He turned around.
"C-Can you stay?"
"Oh, I.. um.." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck before sighing. "Of course, let me just.. I don't know, try and make up an excuse to the guys." I nodded and he kissed my cheek before walking out.
Why the sudden affection? I don't know, I thought it was sweet.
I rolled over and pulled Poppy close to me, both of us slowly starting to fall asleep. Sooner or later, I felt the bed shift and heard the TV turn on, but I was too tired to process that it was Tony, or that he had pulled me flush up against him. I sub consciously snuggled deeper into his chest, feeling content in the fact that someone was actually holding me, almost like they were scared to let go. I felt so safe, and... important, special even.
If I wasn't asleep before, I sure was now.
"Guys, can we head home?" I asked.
"We gotta go get Mike a new bass drum. He tore through another one." I rolled my eyes.
"Really Mike, again?"
"I was pissed, and it just happened." he defended
"He goes through more drums than chicks." Vic chuckled.
"And that's saying something." I laughed under my breath and Vic high fived Jaime.
"Anyways, Can you at least drop me off?"
"Uh, sure?" Jaime mumbled, turning the car around and heading to the house. Mike leaned close to me and I raised my eyebrow.
"You have a thing with Mya, dontcha."
"WHAT?! No!"
"Whoa, what's your problem?" Vic asked. I looked out the window, internally cursing when I felt my cheeks darken slightly. Sure, My's gorgeous, and I may have thought about it once or twice, but shit, not only is she seventeen, but she's Jaime's sister.
Two huge red flags there.
"Thanks." I mumbled, shutting my car door and walking up to the house. Jaime blared the horn as they pulled away and I rolled my eyes, fishing my key out of my pocket and welcoming myself in.
"POPPY!" I whistled. I heard her bark and claw against -what sounded like- Mya's door. I walked up the stairs and knocked.
"Mya?" I asked. After no answer, I jiggled the door knob to find it locked. "My, it's me. Can you open and let Poppy out?" Popps barks only got louder and more frequent.
Poppy only barks like that if the guys or I are in danger. Fuck, is she okay?
"MYA? Open the door, please!" Worry set in and I started kicking the door. Soon enough, I heard the door frame start to splinter from the blows, before I had finally succeeded. Poppy whimpered and jumped up, scratching my leg.
"MY!" I screamed. I walked into her bathroom and saw her on the toilet seat, her head rested against her arm that leaned across the sink. I thought she was sleeping, until I saw the the gashes that littered her arm and thighs, along with a white, empty pill bottle by her feet. I started to panic.
What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?!
I grabbed a small rag and rinsed it, lightly dabbing her cuts while I tried to get her to wake up. She kept making weird noises. But she wouldn't budge. I bit my lip in fear.
"My, I need you to get up. Please." I held up her face and kissed her cheek.
"Please. Think about Jaime, us. Everyone. Please." I started crying. I hugged her as tight as I could. I felt her twitch before she nuzzled her face in the crook of my neck.
"No one cares." She whispered. I kissed the side of her head.
"I care. I swear I care." I picked her up, carrying her to the bed.
"I'm just tired. Wake me up in the morning." She mumbled as her eyes slid closed.
"NO! YOU ARE NOT SLEEPING MYA! STAY UP!" She looked up at me through droopy lids and blown pupils.
What made her do this? Were we not doing something right?
"Antonio, why are you here." She spat, her words were dripping with venom. I cringed at the use of my full name. I hated hearing it coming from her, knowing that she was somehow pissed at me. I walked back into the bathroom got the rag, going back to cleaning her cuts. She just watched me.
"Because. I'm taking care of someone who means alot to me." She looked away and scoffed.
"I don't mean shit to you."
"Really? Because that's a complete and utter lie. You mean so much to me, to all of us."
She remained silent, looking at the rag as it tinted from white, to a crimson red.
I started looking for the first aid kit and found it beside her bed. I cleaned her cuts, her wincing slightly when i started wrapping them. I apologized to her each time I hurt her. When i was done, i sat on the bed, with my legs spread. Had her sit in between them with her back against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her.
I spoke as calmly as i could, just to let Mya know i wasn't mad at her, but concerned.
"My, w-why? Why would you do this?"
MYA
I don't want to keep anything from Tony, but that might've been because I was high right now.
I layed my head back on his chest and breathed in deeply.
" Tony, I just.. I took everything i had in my bag, but i couldn't stomach it. I-I threw some of it up, but I still am pretty high."
Tony just shook his head then looked down at my exposed cuts and scars. How is he not disgusted with me?
"Why.."
I looked down at my bracelets on my unscathed wrist and sighed.
"I'm so sick of everything. The depression, people, the self hate, just life in general. I just want it all to stop. I deserve to be happy again, I deserve to be free."
"And you can be, but this isn't the way to go, beautiful."
"Why not?"
"Because you matter."
"Save it. There are billions of people on earth, how do I have the audacity to even think that I'm anything more than a waste of oxygen."
"Mya, stop. You do matter, I promise. Do you know how happy Jaime was when he found out that he had a little sister? How happy you've made us all with that beautiful smile? How-" He started, but Poppy jumped up on the bed and snuggled into us both. He let out a cute chuckle.
"-How happy you make Popps?" I laughed and slapped his chest before snuggling into his neck. I closed my eyes, feeling darkness attempt to wash over me before he spoke again.
"W-Was it us? Did I do something?" I sighed, keeping my eyes closed as I weakly shook my head.
"No, it wasn't. Can I please sleep?"
"No. I don't want to lose you." I looked up at him and kissed his jaw, my head feeling too heavy to lift.
"You're not going to lose me."
"Am I ever going to come close again?"
"I-I.."
"HOME!" Jaime screamed. Tony sighed and hugged me tighter. I knew what was going through his mind and I didn't want it to happen.
"D-Don't."
"I have to." He whispered, letting me go and hopping off of the bed.
"No please!" I whispered, standing up also, only to hit the floor just as fast. Tony's hands slipped under me, guiding me down safely. He pulled me up and against him, kissing my cheek.
"Just rest, okay?"
"Y-You can't tell them." He bit his lip, lost in thought for a moment before hesitantly nodding.
"I won't.. yet. They have to know about this soon though, My. Okay?"
"I.."
"Okay?" He repeated.
"Y-Yeah."
"Thank you. Now, just please for the love of God get some rest, and promise me you'll never try this again. Please."
"I don't think I can." I whispered.
"Then promise you'll talk to one of us, something. I don't want to go through that again. You're too beautiful to be doing this to yourself."
"Mya!" Jaime screamed and knocked. My eyes widened and I looked at Tony, who was still awaiting an empty promise.
"Promise." I mumbled. He smiled making me blush before walking me to the bed and laying me down, pulling the covers over me. He went to walk out and I shut my eyes tightly, his name coming out of my mouth before I could stop it. He turned around.
"C-Can you stay?"
"Oh, I.. um.." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck before sighing. "Of course, let me just.. I don't know, try and make up an excuse to the guys." I nodded and he kissed my cheek before walking out.
Why the sudden affection? I don't know, I thought it was sweet.
I rolled over and pulled Poppy close to me, both of us slowly starting to fall asleep. Sooner or later, I felt the bed shift and heard the TV turn on, but I was too tired to process that it was Tony, or that he had pulled me flush up against him. I sub consciously snuggled deeper into his chest, feeling content in the fact that someone was actually holding me, almost like they were scared to let go. I felt so safe, and... important, special even.
If I wasn't asleep before, I sure was now.
Notes
Ello love!Cassandra here. So I'm just starting to gradually get over my writers block, so I should be updating more frequently by Monday . Thank you all for your patience and comments, giving me loads of ideas on It's a vicious little world, and this story. I'm gonna start doing this thing, where if it's bold, I want you to answer in the comments. Play along please, it helps Crys and I.
I hope you all enjoyed. What do you think is gonna happen between the two? Will they be able to keep the 'secret' without the guys finding out?
It will calm down a bit, if you want it to. Just straight up 'Best friends hanging' and fluff.
WHO SHIPS TYA?! ;D
Horrible ship name, cut me some slack, yeah?
Insta: Piercethesirensatsix_
Tumblr: Raised-by-band-members
Keek: Piercethesirens_X (I do singing and acoustic covers, wuteva.)
SO GET AT ME FUCKERS!
Kidding, love you.
Thanks for the reads. More soon!
xx,
-Cassandra
sequel pleeeease :D
5/14/14