I Breathe You In With Smoke.
Nightmares No Longer Wait For Sleep.
Run. All I could do was run from him. He was always close, though. I could feel it. His calloused fingers brushing against my wrists in a constant attempt to grab me. My chest was heaving and my voice hoarse from screaming, but nobody came. I was helpless.
always have been, always will be.
I heard his insults fade away slightly as if he was falling behind, but I didn't dare slow down, watching the streetlights pass in a flash. The wind whipping against my face making my interminable tears feel like ice. I felt someone grab me and I choked on a sob as I was dragged back. I looked at the dimly lit face before me.
Lauren.
Her sick smirk made my stomach turn before I heard footsteps pound from behind me, grabbing my hair and throwing me against the brick wall. I screeched in pain and fell to the ground, enduring the kicks from both of them. They were screaming, but I heard a third voice over them screaming as well and drowning out my tears, along with their death threats. As I tried to focus on the third voice, the kicks got progressively harder, suddenly stopping before I heard Lauren's voice in my ear.
"See you soon, love."
"MY! WAKE THE FUCK UP!" I flew up with a scream and fought against the persons grip.
"Hey, HEY! It's Jaime! You're okay!" He screamed looking straight into my eyes. My bottom lip quivered as I studied his face before breaking down. He sat next to me, wrapping me in his arms.
"T-They're coming back!"
"Sh, I promise they're not. You're safe." I shook my head and dug my nails into my scars.
I was far from safe. I couldn't escape my mind, the memories and scars left imprinted from the past.
"I need it."
"No you don't, babe."
"I NEED IT!" I screamed and fought against his grip. The guys all rushed in, eyes wide.
"Mya! Calm down!" I growled, finally being released and running across the bed and rummaging through my desk drawer.
WHERE
IS
IT.
Bingo.
"NO!" They all screamed, Tony attacking me and pinning my arms to the floor.
"Someone fucking grab it!" He screamed.
"NO! I NEED IT!" Vic ran over and snatched it out of my hand. I desperately tried to escape Tony's grasp and steal it back, but of course I couldn't. My chest heaved, gasping for breath through my tears. Tony soon released me and pulled me tight against him, in such a way that I couldn't even pick at my scars.
"Nightmare again?" Mike asked. I nodded as Tony rocked me back and forth.
"They haven't stopped.." Vic sighed.They all sat next to me, and wrapped me in a hug.
"They're don't even know where you are, My. I promise you're safe." Tony whispered. None of them knew about the text message. It had to be him.
"How many blades have you stashed?" I shook my head.
"No, My's. Tell us, or we search this room from top to bottom."
"I-I... 2."
"Where."
"No, Mike."
"God dammit! We're only trying to help!"
"I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP!" I screamed and turned to Tony. "Why didn't you let me die.. why." I whispered.
"No, don't say that, please.."
"What the fuck is she talking about?" Vic asked.
"TONY WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE TALKING ABOUT." Jaime screamed.
"I walked in on her cutting one day. I don't want to talk about it."
"AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING TELL US?!" Mike screamed and Jaime grabbed Tony's shirt, pulling him up and against a wall.
"STOP IT! I'm tired of tearing you guys apart because I'm a fuck up. Just STOP!"
"I'm fucking dealing with you later." Jaime spat and shoved him against the wall once more before going back to sit down with me. He tried to wrap me in a hug, but I shied away.
"Nobody touch me."
"You want someone to stay with you tonight? It's only 4am so.." I nodded.
"T-Tony." His head shot up, from being in his hands after he had slid down the wall.
"Me?"
"Fucking bullshit." Jaime scoffed, getting to his feet and stomping out the door.
"H-He's mad at me?" I asked, feeling my eyes well up again.
"No, he's just mad that you didn't tell him is all. It wasn't a suicide attempt, was it?" I looked down and shook my head. Vic wrapped me in a hug and kissed my hair.
"We love you too much for you to go anywhere, beautiful. Now, Tone, take good care of her. My, tell us where the blades are."
"Behind the poster." I whispered. Mike got to his feet, tearing the poster off of the wall and retrieving the first one. I cried as he put it in his pocket and Vic rubbed my arm.
"Good job, where's the other?"
"D-Don't do this please."
"You'll be okay, I swear." I nodded slowly and pointed to the top of the door frame. Tony hopped up, feeling around for a few moments before grabbing it and throwing it to Mike.
"See? That took so much strength to give them up like that. We love you, My's." Mike told me. I nodded as the brothers both gave me kisses, wishing me goodnight and leaving. Tony walked over, grabbing my hands and pulling me up. I collapsed onto the bed and snuggled into Tony's bare chest once he had crawled in also.
"W-What if they do come back?"
"That won't happen."
"You don't know that."
"And you know they will? You're getting worked up over nothing. I promise I'll protect you if that day ever does come, but until then, you have nothing to worry about." He told me, tracing circles on my arms, and making my body erupt in goosebumps. I felt Poppy jump up on the bed and weasel her way between us.
"Really?" I laughed. She looked up at me, panting with an innocent look in her eyes. Tony laughed and pulled me closer. I looked up at him and smiled.
"Thank you."
"For?"
"Everything."
"Oh, well I'm not sure I've done anything, but you're welcome."
"You're just amazing. How you haven't left or anything is beyond me. Keeping secrets from the guys, accepting me for the fact that I'm-"
"Stop right there. I'm not going to sit here and let you talk lowly about yourself. Sure, I've covered for you, and sure, I'm going to be paying the price, but it's because I care about you."
"Why do you always act like I'm something important?!"
"Maybe because you are. Fuck, why can't you see the beauty in you that I do!?"
"W-What?"
"That we do, I mean."
As dark as it may have been, I knew by the shakiness of his voice that he was nervous and without a doubt blushing. I giggled and kissed his cheek. I went to lay beck on his chest, before his hand moved under my chin to keep me at face level.
"You're just such and amazing person, My. You need to realize that your perfections out weigh your flaws." He told me. I smiled slightly, only for my eyes to widen as I felt myself being pulled down into a kiss. I bit back a laugh as his scruff tickled my lips, and just melted into the sweet and passionate kiss. His tongue ran across my bottom lip sensually and I shuddered slightly before allowing him access. Our tongues danced perfectly in time with each other, before we both soon had to pull away from the lack of air.
"I... thought that wasn't supposed to happen again?" I gasped, biting my lip. He shrugged pulling me back against him.
"Goodnight My."
"Night Tonester." I felt his chest collapse, laughing silently before kissing the top of my head.
As scared as I would be to fall back asleep, I wasn't, simply for the reason that he was there, his steady heartbeat lulling me back into a dreamless sleep.
"I'm gonna miss you, babe. I'm so sorry." Jas whispered.
"It's okay, really. It's your job."
"But still, I really wanted to be here for your birthday."
"Jas, stop. It's fine." She sighed and nodded, wrapping me in a hug.
"Okay, okay. I love you."
"Love you too. Now go give the other guys love before your cab gets here." She gave me a sad smile and walked into the guys' arms, who hugged her tightly and gave her kisses.
"Please stay safe.."
"Vic, we've had this conversation a hundred times. I'll be okay." He nodded and pulled her into one last kiss before there was a loud car horn coming from outside. She sighed, pulling away and grabbing her suitcase.
"Well, I'll see you all later. Mya, take care of the guys, and you fuckers better take care of my girl."
"Ma'am yes ma'am." The all sarcastically mumbled, making me giggle.
"I love you guys."
"We love you too, please call when you get to Florida and let us know you landed safely."
"Of course." She said and opened the front door. We all waved and she walked out.
I just wish we wouldn't have let her walk out that door without knowing that there was a price to pay.
always have been, always will be.
I heard his insults fade away slightly as if he was falling behind, but I didn't dare slow down, watching the streetlights pass in a flash. The wind whipping against my face making my interminable tears feel like ice. I felt someone grab me and I choked on a sob as I was dragged back. I looked at the dimly lit face before me.
Lauren.
Her sick smirk made my stomach turn before I heard footsteps pound from behind me, grabbing my hair and throwing me against the brick wall. I screeched in pain and fell to the ground, enduring the kicks from both of them. They were screaming, but I heard a third voice over them screaming as well and drowning out my tears, along with their death threats. As I tried to focus on the third voice, the kicks got progressively harder, suddenly stopping before I heard Lauren's voice in my ear.
"See you soon, love."
"MY! WAKE THE FUCK UP!" I flew up with a scream and fought against the persons grip.
"Hey, HEY! It's Jaime! You're okay!" He screamed looking straight into my eyes. My bottom lip quivered as I studied his face before breaking down. He sat next to me, wrapping me in his arms.
"T-They're coming back!"
"Sh, I promise they're not. You're safe." I shook my head and dug my nails into my scars.
I was far from safe. I couldn't escape my mind, the memories and scars left imprinted from the past.
"I need it."
"No you don't, babe."
"I NEED IT!" I screamed and fought against his grip. The guys all rushed in, eyes wide.
"Mya! Calm down!" I growled, finally being released and running across the bed and rummaging through my desk drawer.
WHERE
IS
IT.
Bingo.
"NO!" They all screamed, Tony attacking me and pinning my arms to the floor.
"Someone fucking grab it!" He screamed.
"NO! I NEED IT!" Vic ran over and snatched it out of my hand. I desperately tried to escape Tony's grasp and steal it back, but of course I couldn't. My chest heaved, gasping for breath through my tears. Tony soon released me and pulled me tight against him, in such a way that I couldn't even pick at my scars.
"Nightmare again?" Mike asked. I nodded as Tony rocked me back and forth.
"They haven't stopped.." Vic sighed.They all sat next to me, and wrapped me in a hug.
"They're don't even know where you are, My. I promise you're safe." Tony whispered. None of them knew about the text message. It had to be him.
"How many blades have you stashed?" I shook my head.
"No, My's. Tell us, or we search this room from top to bottom."
"I-I... 2."
"Where."
"No, Mike."
"God dammit! We're only trying to help!"
"I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP!" I screamed and turned to Tony. "Why didn't you let me die.. why." I whispered.
"No, don't say that, please.."
"What the fuck is she talking about?" Vic asked.
"TONY WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE TALKING ABOUT." Jaime screamed.
"I walked in on her cutting one day. I don't want to talk about it."
"AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING TELL US?!" Mike screamed and Jaime grabbed Tony's shirt, pulling him up and against a wall.
"STOP IT! I'm tired of tearing you guys apart because I'm a fuck up. Just STOP!"
"I'm fucking dealing with you later." Jaime spat and shoved him against the wall once more before going back to sit down with me. He tried to wrap me in a hug, but I shied away.
"Nobody touch me."
"You want someone to stay with you tonight? It's only 4am so.." I nodded.
"T-Tony." His head shot up, from being in his hands after he had slid down the wall.
"Me?"
"Fucking bullshit." Jaime scoffed, getting to his feet and stomping out the door.
"H-He's mad at me?" I asked, feeling my eyes well up again.
"No, he's just mad that you didn't tell him is all. It wasn't a suicide attempt, was it?" I looked down and shook my head. Vic wrapped me in a hug and kissed my hair.
"We love you too much for you to go anywhere, beautiful. Now, Tone, take good care of her. My, tell us where the blades are."
"Behind the poster." I whispered. Mike got to his feet, tearing the poster off of the wall and retrieving the first one. I cried as he put it in his pocket and Vic rubbed my arm.
"Good job, where's the other?"
"D-Don't do this please."
"You'll be okay, I swear." I nodded slowly and pointed to the top of the door frame. Tony hopped up, feeling around for a few moments before grabbing it and throwing it to Mike.
"See? That took so much strength to give them up like that. We love you, My's." Mike told me. I nodded as the brothers both gave me kisses, wishing me goodnight and leaving. Tony walked over, grabbing my hands and pulling me up. I collapsed onto the bed and snuggled into Tony's bare chest once he had crawled in also.
"W-What if they do come back?"
"That won't happen."
"You don't know that."
"And you know they will? You're getting worked up over nothing. I promise I'll protect you if that day ever does come, but until then, you have nothing to worry about." He told me, tracing circles on my arms, and making my body erupt in goosebumps. I felt Poppy jump up on the bed and weasel her way between us.
"Really?" I laughed. She looked up at me, panting with an innocent look in her eyes. Tony laughed and pulled me closer. I looked up at him and smiled.
"Thank you."
"For?"
"Everything."
"Oh, well I'm not sure I've done anything, but you're welcome."
"You're just amazing. How you haven't left or anything is beyond me. Keeping secrets from the guys, accepting me for the fact that I'm-"
"Stop right there. I'm not going to sit here and let you talk lowly about yourself. Sure, I've covered for you, and sure, I'm going to be paying the price, but it's because I care about you."
"Why do you always act like I'm something important?!"
"Maybe because you are. Fuck, why can't you see the beauty in you that I do!?"
"W-What?"
"That we do, I mean."
As dark as it may have been, I knew by the shakiness of his voice that he was nervous and without a doubt blushing. I giggled and kissed his cheek. I went to lay beck on his chest, before his hand moved under my chin to keep me at face level.
"You're just such and amazing person, My. You need to realize that your perfections out weigh your flaws." He told me. I smiled slightly, only for my eyes to widen as I felt myself being pulled down into a kiss. I bit back a laugh as his scruff tickled my lips, and just melted into the sweet and passionate kiss. His tongue ran across my bottom lip sensually and I shuddered slightly before allowing him access. Our tongues danced perfectly in time with each other, before we both soon had to pull away from the lack of air.
"I... thought that wasn't supposed to happen again?" I gasped, biting my lip. He shrugged pulling me back against him.
"Goodnight My."
"Night Tonester." I felt his chest collapse, laughing silently before kissing the top of my head.
As scared as I would be to fall back asleep, I wasn't, simply for the reason that he was there, his steady heartbeat lulling me back into a dreamless sleep.
"I'm gonna miss you, babe. I'm so sorry." Jas whispered.
"It's okay, really. It's your job."
"But still, I really wanted to be here for your birthday."
"Jas, stop. It's fine." She sighed and nodded, wrapping me in a hug.
"Okay, okay. I love you."
"Love you too. Now go give the other guys love before your cab gets here." She gave me a sad smile and walked into the guys' arms, who hugged her tightly and gave her kisses.
"Please stay safe.."
"Vic, we've had this conversation a hundred times. I'll be okay." He nodded and pulled her into one last kiss before there was a loud car horn coming from outside. She sighed, pulling away and grabbing her suitcase.
"Well, I'll see you all later. Mya, take care of the guys, and you fuckers better take care of my girl."
"Ma'am yes ma'am." The all sarcastically mumbled, making me giggle.
"I love you guys."
"We love you too, please call when you get to Florida and let us know you landed safely."
"Of course." She said and opened the front door. We all waved and she walked out.
I just wish we wouldn't have let her walk out that door without knowing that there was a price to pay.
Notes
Wassup fuckers!It's Cassandra. So... alot happened this chapter o.o I think it's more of a 'essential filler' , but I hope you enjoyed. We're starting to reach the main climax of this story, so shit's about to GO DOWN. (Maybe 10-15 chappys left)
Any predictions? :D
But, yeah. (TO THOSE WHO READ MY OTHER STORY) "It's A Vicious Little World" Will be updated tomorrow, already have the chappy almost finished, so sorry for keeping all of you guys waiting.
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Ily Darlings. \m/
sequel pleeeease :D
5/14/14