~*POV Mike*~

I felt my heart beat faster and the sensation of guilt filled my lower gut. I slept with Tony, I let my instincts get the best of me and I slept with him. It was good, yes, but that doesn't mean it was appropriate, because it wasn't.

I sighed lightly and look down at Tony, he was curled into my side, snoring quietly. I involuntarily smiled, but as soon as I realized what I was doing, I stopped. I have to stop letting hormones and instincts control me. Tony does not look adorable right now; He is covered in sweat, hickeys growing across his neck and collarbone. It sounded more like I was trying to convince myself more than anything. Oh what am I thinking? Of course I'm convincing myself, I'm the only one here.

I looked down at Tony again, noticing a piece of hair had fallen free onto his forehead. I automatically brushed it away, not thinking. I gasped and almost jumped out of my skin at the tingling sensation I felt in my fingertips as our skin made contact. I shook my head, it must be the alcohol, right? But I don't feel drunk, I'm thinking pretty clearly.

I bit my lip as my eyes locked on his face. A new feeling entered my gut, replacing the guilt. I felt butterflies, or at least something close to them, I don't know. I haven't felt like this in so long. I have to be at least a little drunk still, drunk enough to blowing this out of proportion. It's not butterflies I feel, I'm nervous about the consequences that will come with sleeping with him. Yeah, that's it.

But then again, the more I think about my behavior for the last couple of months, the more confused I get. How excited I got when I found out Vic and Jaime were getting married. How I instantly wanted to go, before I even got in contact with Jaime. How everytime Jaime brought up Tony I got really weird and nervous. How emotional I got at the actual wedding. For someone that 'doesn't believe in love,' I'm doing a shitty job showing it.

I don't make sense. End of story. I don't know what to think anymore. But then again, I could be blowing this way out of proportion. I haven't even talked to Tony, maybe when he wakes up in the morning, he'll regret it and my opinion on the matter won't matter. That seems more likely, he blew up in face earlier today.

I decided it was time for a little experiment, I pulled at the blankets we were wrapped it. Pulling them out from in between our still naked, colliding our skin together. I bit my tongue to conceal a gasp. The tingling sensation from when I touched his forehead was back, only ten times worse. I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm not supposed to feel this way, I'm supposed to be happily numb, spend the rest of my life comfortably lonely. Things like this aren't supposed to happen to me.

I feel my whole turn to jelly as my eyes wander up and down his heavily tattooed body. I bit my lip when I noticed the array of scars on his otherwise clean thighs. I shuddered at the memory of when Vic, Jaime and I found out that Tony did this to himself. All of the scars seemed fully healed, so I can at least have the peace of mind that he doesn't do it anymore. But, what if he started again because of me? What if, "What he went through" was this?

I doubt he'd tell me if I asked again, but what if I told him I saw the scars. Would that make him more willing to open up to me? I doubt it, he doesn't know me anymore, and I don't know him. We're just strangers with a past right now.

I sighed, deciding it would be a good idea to try to get some sleep. I replaced the blankets over myself and Tony before leaning back into the pillow, allowing him to fling his arm around my chest as he slept. I smiled smalley at the tingles, but reminded myself that I don't believe in this shit. Or at least I didn't think I did.

Notes

GUYS! I finally updated before 10 at night, that deserves a comment, right? ;D

YOU SEE WHAT I DID? I FOR FUCKING MADE UP FOR THE GAPING PLOT HOLE! That's basically the entire purpose for this chapter, also why it's so short... o_o sorrynotsorry

Speaking of, Mayday Parade released the tracklist for their new album, and one of the songs is called "Sorry Not Sorry." I freaked out because that's basically my catch phrase... XD

Title Cred: Famous (Check them out omg I can't process how amazing they are.)