Wake me up and let me know you're alive
no, Well repeat it again.
We all hung out backstage for a while. They packed up there stuff and put it back in the car. Mike left with some chick. Jaime went home and Tony went home also. Vic opened the door for me. "Ladies first." He said smiling. "Haha okay you go then." I smiled winking at him messing around. We both started laughing and we walked in the house. He plopped down on the couch. "Wanna watch a movie or something?" "Yea in a minute. But first I'm going to go change. Be right back." I said smiling. I grabbed the bag with my clothes in it and went to the bathroom. I pulled out a shirt and something fell on the ground. It was kinda loud not that loud tho. I looked at it. "Oh shit!" I said. picking up the object. It was more razor blades. As soon as I touched the razors. It made me feel depressed. All the bad memories came back to me. It took control over my body, I soon broke down in to tears. I hear Vic come rushing from the couch. "Is everything okay??" Vic said sounding worried. Trying so hard not to make it sound like I was crying my voice was shakey when I said "Yea everything is fine.." I sat there curled up in a ball crying. Wishing the razors didn't fall. It made me so depressed. I wanted to cut again. I thought about where I could cut. "Maybe my thighs.. No one sees my legs anyways." I thought about it. So I sat on the toilet pulled my pants off so I could see my thigh and cut my self. I didn't realize that I was crying so much and the door was unlocked. "Chloey...." I looked up to see the door knob turning. I rushed off the toilet seat and fell because I didn't have time to pull my pants up to hide the cuts. I was to late. Vic opened the door. "Chloey are you okay???" Vic said. "Here let me help you up.." 'No i-it's fine.." I said worrying about how much blood he would see from all the cuts I just made in my thigh. "What were you trying to do?" I saw him look down at the ground and he spotted the razor on the ground. "Oh Chloey.." Vic said looking down in disappointment. I started to cry even more.. Great job Chloey, your such a fucking idiot, This is the second time he caught you. You are so fucking stupid you need to leave you will scare him away.. I sat against the counter and curled up with my knees to my face. "How bad are they Chloey..?" Vic said looking more angry that sad. He was talking to me. I mumbled something. And when he asked me what I said I ignored him. I was caught up in my mind. About losing my mom, Getting caught cutting my self. Wishing the razors were gone.. But they came back. Maybe its a sign that I should just end my life.. I should just leave.. Its like everything bad happens, why am I still here?
Vics POV
I picked up the razor and looked at it. There's a lot of blood on this, they must be deep. How deep? How many cuts, where are they? I don't see them on her arms and wrists or anything. I didn't realize that her pants were sort of down because she was leaning against the counter now. I felt angry, I felt that she betrayed me. But it's not her fault. It's the razor, I know exactly what its like to feel this way so I shouldn't be mad. But every time I think about it. I get angry. I try to stay calm but in my head. I was fine with everything, but I didn't realize on the outside what a dick I was being. I saw Chloey crying. "What the hell Chloey? Are you trying to kill your self??" I heard her mumble. "What?" I said trying to make out what she said but I couldn't. "Here let me help you up.." I said reaching my hand out for her to get up. "I'm fine.. I'll get up my self..." she said with her face still covered up. I wonder what is going through her head right now.. What kinda thoughts, what kinda feelings, I mean I bet she feels depressed, but that's probably it. I wanted to know where she had cut her self.. I wanted to make sure she was okay. "Please Chloey get up, I really wanted to watch that movie with you.." "Please, don't get mad..." She said.. It must be pretty bad if she asked me not to get mad. "I won't.." Maybe she felt weird that I was in there and her pants were sort of down.. But its whatever I want to make sure shes okay. She got up. I saw blood dripping down her legs.. Oh god.. I thought to my self. I looked down at her legs and she saw me staring. She quickly pulled her pants up and started crying.. "It's okay.." I pulled her into a quick hug and just held her. She cried on my shoulder for about a minute or two. I heard the front door shut but I didn't care it was probably Mike. Mike walked by and the door was opened and he saw us hugging. I looked up and he saw my eyes were teary. He knew better than to ask if everything was okay. He knew to wait until later. Me and Chloey stopped hugging and I told her to get dressed and to meet me in the basement so we could talk if she wanted to. I took the razor blades and closed the door for her to change. I went to Mikes room. I knocked on the door. "Yeah." Mike said. I opened the door. "What happened in there..?" Mike asked. "Chloey cut her self again." I said looking down. "Oh shit.. Is she alright?" "I don't know. her legs were just so bloody. I didn't see her cuts I just was so focused on how much blood was running down her legs." "You should go check on it then.." Mike said. So I listened to him and got up to go check on her... Chloey wasn't in the bathroom. She's probably in the basement. I went down to the basement. But she wasn't there either I checked the kitchen no one in sight. "Mike?" I yelled for him. "Yea?" "Do you know where Chloey is??" "No did you check the couch?" Oh yea I thought stupid me.. No need to get panicked . I went to check the living room to find her. Her stuff wasn't there. Okay now I can panic. I ran back to the kitchen to Mike. "Mike shes not there. Her shit is gone." Mike looked at me worried. We both ran to the front door to see if she was walking. I didn't see her. I sat down on the front step putting my hands over my face. I don't know what to do. I feel worthless right now. I had feelings for Chloey and she left. It really broke my heart that I caught her cutting again and shes now gone. Did she leave because of me? Where did she go. I started crying. "It will be okay Vic. She will be back.." All I could think was what if she was going to hurt her self. Whats going to happen now? I don't know what to do. What about Tony, How will he feel when I tell him all of this.
Chloeys POV
I kept on replaying me leaving the house and grabbing all my stuff. I couldn't handle feeling Vic cry on my shoulder while I was crying on his. I couldn't stand how he caught me cutting again. It just made me sick to my stomach. I don't want to scare them I had to leave. I didn't know where I was going. I just took my stuff and left. I walked for about 10 minutes and realized I ended up in the park. I looked through my backpacks until I could find my song journal. I wanted to write how I felt. I climbed my favorite tree leaving my back packs and shit down by the tree trunk. I looked down and saw Tony walking. Oh shit, I hope he doesn't see me. Maybe if I climb higher he wont see me. I just sat still, I had to sneeze and I couldn't hold it in. I sneezed and it was sort of loud and high pitched. I sat there in fear that Tony heard me. I didn't want to explain why I was in this tree with all my stuff on the ground and why I'm alone outside in the dark. He looked around but he didn't see me. He kept on walking and he eventually disappeared. I felt alone, I felt worthless right now. I felt like that I ruined my life I wish I didn't have to change then none of this would have happened.. Everything would have been fine. Me and Vic would have watched a movie. I sat there in the tree and started to cry. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I have some money with me so I should be fine for now until I have to go to the ATM to get some more. I jumped out of the tree and grabbed my stuff. I headed towards the swings. I sat down at the swing. Not noticing that Tony was sitting down by the play structure. I soon again felt helpless and worthless then I started feeling dizzy. I put my hands down on my thighs and felt my pants damp-ish. I felt it again then I soon smelt the blood on my hands. Oh god, I'm bleeding so much. what do I do? Then suicidal thoughts ran through my head telling me just to let my self bleed out. Oh god oh shit. What do I do?? I shook my head trying to shake the thoughts get out of it. That only made me more dizzy. I fell back off the swing and then I fell asleep.
Tony's POV
I hate this town. The only good thing about it is Chloey and our band. I hate my mom shes such a bitch. Shes so mean. Why does she accuse me of everything. "Oh your fucking that girl right? Oh your going out at night and getting drunk and on drugs. Oh your doing bad shit." Blah blah blah. I fucking hate this shit. I pulled out my razor blade and started to cut my arm to hide it under my sleeve. It felt good, It felt like it was my savior for now. I heard something hit the ground. I looked up quickly and hid the razor under the tanbark. I looked to see the a swing moving and a body behind it. I got up and ran over to the person. I used my phone to flash the light to see who it was. I saw the batman symbols on the persons clothing. I forgot about Chloeys costume. I shined the light slightly on the persons face. Holy fuck.. Chloey? I shook her. Chloey wake up. Come one Chloey. I know its you, please don't play like this. I know you can hear me. Oh fuck.. What do I do. I shined the light around the area. Whats her shit doing here? Where is Vic or Mike? I shined the light on here again and saw the blood seeping through her pants. On the batman logo. I collapsed to the ground. I was in shock I couldn't move for a minute. I soon snapped out of it and listened to her heart beat. It was beating but it wasn't a steady pace. I shook her again and again. Chloey wake up please? You can hear me come one dude wake up. I decided to call Vic and Mike. There phones rang but they didn't answer. Fuck.. I called them over and over again I sent them texts I left voice mails no answer. I'm just going to have to carry her home good thing I'm strong... I Picked up her bags first thank god there backpacks this will make it easier. I put on one back pack attached the lightest back pack to my belt. I put the last back pack on Chloey and picked her up. Shes not that heavy I thought to my self. I started walking towards Vic's house. It took me about 20 minutes to get there. I kicked on the door so they knew some one was there. Mike opened the door and looked at me then saw that Chloey was in my arms. He ran to Vic yelling "VIC COME HERE!!" I came in the house and set Chloey on the couch. Vic and Mike came running in the room. "Dude where did you find her?" Mike said. Vic was quiet. He noticed the blood through her pants. "I found her in the park unconscious behind the swing like she fell off of it." "I bet it was from all the blood she lost." Vic said. "Blood?" Mike said questioning Vic's comment. "Yes, blood Mike. Haven't you seen the fucking blood seeping through her pants?" Vic said being an asshole. Mike knew better then to reply being a dick back. He looked down at her legs to see the blood. "Oh.." Mike said. "I called you fuckers about 50000 times and I didn't get any answers or reply's or anything." "I don't want to make this sound wrong but we need to take her pants off to examine the cuts." Vic said. We all agreed. "Vic go get some of your shorts for her to wear so she doesn't wake up all weirded out because shes half naked with 3 guys around her.." Mike said. I didn't think Mike cared this much. Vic went to go get some shorts. We pulled off her pants and pulled some shorts on to her and then looked at her cuts. The looked deep. The blood was smeared on her legs. We got some peroxide and cleaned the wounds. We cleaned up all the blood. Mike took Chloeys batman leggings and soaked them in cold water so the blood wouldn't stain them hopefully. Her legs looked brand new besides the cuts. They at least didn't look so bad with the blood off of them.. I tried to think positive things to get me through the night. I fell asleep on the ground next to the couch. Vic fell asleep in his room and Mike fell asleep in his room also. Next thing I knew it was morning.
Vics POV
I picked up the razor and looked at it. There's a lot of blood on this, they must be deep. How deep? How many cuts, where are they? I don't see them on her arms and wrists or anything. I didn't realize that her pants were sort of down because she was leaning against the counter now. I felt angry, I felt that she betrayed me. But it's not her fault. It's the razor, I know exactly what its like to feel this way so I shouldn't be mad. But every time I think about it. I get angry. I try to stay calm but in my head. I was fine with everything, but I didn't realize on the outside what a dick I was being. I saw Chloey crying. "What the hell Chloey? Are you trying to kill your self??" I heard her mumble. "What?" I said trying to make out what she said but I couldn't. "Here let me help you up.." I said reaching my hand out for her to get up. "I'm fine.. I'll get up my self..." she said with her face still covered up. I wonder what is going through her head right now.. What kinda thoughts, what kinda feelings, I mean I bet she feels depressed, but that's probably it. I wanted to know where she had cut her self.. I wanted to make sure she was okay. "Please Chloey get up, I really wanted to watch that movie with you.." "Please, don't get mad..." She said.. It must be pretty bad if she asked me not to get mad. "I won't.." Maybe she felt weird that I was in there and her pants were sort of down.. But its whatever I want to make sure shes okay. She got up. I saw blood dripping down her legs.. Oh god.. I thought to my self. I looked down at her legs and she saw me staring. She quickly pulled her pants up and started crying.. "It's okay.." I pulled her into a quick hug and just held her. She cried on my shoulder for about a minute or two. I heard the front door shut but I didn't care it was probably Mike. Mike walked by and the door was opened and he saw us hugging. I looked up and he saw my eyes were teary. He knew better than to ask if everything was okay. He knew to wait until later. Me and Chloey stopped hugging and I told her to get dressed and to meet me in the basement so we could talk if she wanted to. I took the razor blades and closed the door for her to change. I went to Mikes room. I knocked on the door. "Yeah." Mike said. I opened the door. "What happened in there..?" Mike asked. "Chloey cut her self again." I said looking down. "Oh shit.. Is she alright?" "I don't know. her legs were just so bloody. I didn't see her cuts I just was so focused on how much blood was running down her legs." "You should go check on it then.." Mike said. So I listened to him and got up to go check on her... Chloey wasn't in the bathroom. She's probably in the basement. I went down to the basement. But she wasn't there either I checked the kitchen no one in sight. "Mike?" I yelled for him. "Yea?" "Do you know where Chloey is??" "No did you check the couch?" Oh yea I thought stupid me.. No need to get panicked . I went to check the living room to find her. Her stuff wasn't there. Okay now I can panic. I ran back to the kitchen to Mike. "Mike shes not there. Her shit is gone." Mike looked at me worried. We both ran to the front door to see if she was walking. I didn't see her. I sat down on the front step putting my hands over my face. I don't know what to do. I feel worthless right now. I had feelings for Chloey and she left. It really broke my heart that I caught her cutting again and shes now gone. Did she leave because of me? Where did she go. I started crying. "It will be okay Vic. She will be back.." All I could think was what if she was going to hurt her self. Whats going to happen now? I don't know what to do. What about Tony, How will he feel when I tell him all of this.
Chloeys POV
I kept on replaying me leaving the house and grabbing all my stuff. I couldn't handle feeling Vic cry on my shoulder while I was crying on his. I couldn't stand how he caught me cutting again. It just made me sick to my stomach. I don't want to scare them I had to leave. I didn't know where I was going. I just took my stuff and left. I walked for about 10 minutes and realized I ended up in the park. I looked through my backpacks until I could find my song journal. I wanted to write how I felt. I climbed my favorite tree leaving my back packs and shit down by the tree trunk. I looked down and saw Tony walking. Oh shit, I hope he doesn't see me. Maybe if I climb higher he wont see me. I just sat still, I had to sneeze and I couldn't hold it in. I sneezed and it was sort of loud and high pitched. I sat there in fear that Tony heard me. I didn't want to explain why I was in this tree with all my stuff on the ground and why I'm alone outside in the dark. He looked around but he didn't see me. He kept on walking and he eventually disappeared. I felt alone, I felt worthless right now. I felt like that I ruined my life I wish I didn't have to change then none of this would have happened.. Everything would have been fine. Me and Vic would have watched a movie. I sat there in the tree and started to cry. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I have some money with me so I should be fine for now until I have to go to the ATM to get some more. I jumped out of the tree and grabbed my stuff. I headed towards the swings. I sat down at the swing. Not noticing that Tony was sitting down by the play structure. I soon again felt helpless and worthless then I started feeling dizzy. I put my hands down on my thighs and felt my pants damp-ish. I felt it again then I soon smelt the blood on my hands. Oh god, I'm bleeding so much. what do I do? Then suicidal thoughts ran through my head telling me just to let my self bleed out. Oh god oh shit. What do I do?? I shook my head trying to shake the thoughts get out of it. That only made me more dizzy. I fell back off the swing and then I fell asleep.
Tony's POV
I hate this town. The only good thing about it is Chloey and our band. I hate my mom shes such a bitch. Shes so mean. Why does she accuse me of everything. "Oh your fucking that girl right? Oh your going out at night and getting drunk and on drugs. Oh your doing bad shit." Blah blah blah. I fucking hate this shit. I pulled out my razor blade and started to cut my arm to hide it under my sleeve. It felt good, It felt like it was my savior for now. I heard something hit the ground. I looked up quickly and hid the razor under the tanbark. I looked to see the a swing moving and a body behind it. I got up and ran over to the person. I used my phone to flash the light to see who it was. I saw the batman symbols on the persons clothing. I forgot about Chloeys costume. I shined the light slightly on the persons face. Holy fuck.. Chloey? I shook her. Chloey wake up. Come one Chloey. I know its you, please don't play like this. I know you can hear me. Oh fuck.. What do I do. I shined the light around the area. Whats her shit doing here? Where is Vic or Mike? I shined the light on here again and saw the blood seeping through her pants. On the batman logo. I collapsed to the ground. I was in shock I couldn't move for a minute. I soon snapped out of it and listened to her heart beat. It was beating but it wasn't a steady pace. I shook her again and again. Chloey wake up please? You can hear me come one dude wake up. I decided to call Vic and Mike. There phones rang but they didn't answer. Fuck.. I called them over and over again I sent them texts I left voice mails no answer. I'm just going to have to carry her home good thing I'm strong... I Picked up her bags first thank god there backpacks this will make it easier. I put on one back pack attached the lightest back pack to my belt. I put the last back pack on Chloey and picked her up. Shes not that heavy I thought to my self. I started walking towards Vic's house. It took me about 20 minutes to get there. I kicked on the door so they knew some one was there. Mike opened the door and looked at me then saw that Chloey was in my arms. He ran to Vic yelling "VIC COME HERE!!" I came in the house and set Chloey on the couch. Vic and Mike came running in the room. "Dude where did you find her?" Mike said. Vic was quiet. He noticed the blood through her pants. "I found her in the park unconscious behind the swing like she fell off of it." "I bet it was from all the blood she lost." Vic said. "Blood?" Mike said questioning Vic's comment. "Yes, blood Mike. Haven't you seen the fucking blood seeping through her pants?" Vic said being an asshole. Mike knew better then to reply being a dick back. He looked down at her legs to see the blood. "Oh.." Mike said. "I called you fuckers about 50000 times and I didn't get any answers or reply's or anything." "I don't want to make this sound wrong but we need to take her pants off to examine the cuts." Vic said. We all agreed. "Vic go get some of your shorts for her to wear so she doesn't wake up all weirded out because shes half naked with 3 guys around her.." Mike said. I didn't think Mike cared this much. Vic went to go get some shorts. We pulled off her pants and pulled some shorts on to her and then looked at her cuts. The looked deep. The blood was smeared on her legs. We got some peroxide and cleaned the wounds. We cleaned up all the blood. Mike took Chloeys batman leggings and soaked them in cold water so the blood wouldn't stain them hopefully. Her legs looked brand new besides the cuts. They at least didn't look so bad with the blood off of them.. I tried to think positive things to get me through the night. I fell asleep on the ground next to the couch. Vic fell asleep in his room and Mike fell asleep in his room also. Next thing I knew it was morning.
@kissing_razors
Thanks :)
I've listened to the song but some how never seen the music video
4/9/16