Everything New Distracts The Old

“Vic!” I jolted up, hearing my name being called. I studied my surroundings, seeing that I was on the couch, Charlie lying across my lap. The TV across the way was flickering lowly—the movie we had all watched together was ending. Tony had wandered off with Chloe, setting her up somewhere to sleep, and Mike was in a single couch with Zoe, Chloe’s sister. Jaime was sprawled out completely on the floor. When my eyes adjusted, I saw that everyone was asleep and Mike wasn’t in the chair with Zoe anymore. I frowned and yawned.

I looked down at Charlie, brushing her hair with my fingers over and over. I smiled gently at her sleeping form, she looked so peaceful.

“Vic!” I heard someone whisper-yell. I looked up, seeing Mike in the room again. His eyes were small and his face was twisted seriously.

“What is it?” I whispered back.

“I have to talk to you. Now,” he said angrily. I frowned but went to stand up. Mike didn’t really get angry with me very often, so I wondered what this was about. I gently lifted Charlie’s head from my lap and stood up, setting her head down on a pillow. I smiled at her and kissed her forehead before going to see what Mike wanted.

“What’s up?” I asked. He grabbed me by the collar and yanked me into my room. “What the hell!” I exclaimed as I was jolted inside.

“You promised,” he glared at me.

“Huh?”

“Vic,” he said sternly. “You promised.” He held out his fist, turning it around and then opening it up so his palm was facing up. Sitting there, reflecting off of the minimal light in the room, was a medium sized blade, crusted red on the edge but little did Mike know, the blood was old, not fresh.

“I swear, I didn’t,” I shook my head. “Where did you find that?”

“Don’t play dumb, Vic. I was looking for mouthwash and I found it taped under your sink,” he spat. My eyes widened—I had completely forgotten about that one.

“Oh,” I said quietly. I scratched the back of my neck. “I forgot about that,” I said. My face probably looked confused, because Mike’s face softened.

“I have to check,” he said.

“Check what?”

He rolled his eyes. “Your arm. Please,” he begged. I sighed and lifted my arms up. I rolled up my sleeves and held them out to him.

“See? Nothing new. I didn’t break my promise, I promise,” I said.

“I’m sorry I assumed…” he shook his head and looked down.

“It’s alright, Mike. But I have no need for that anymore,” I said.

Mike smiled. “That’s good to hear,” he said proudly. He stepped forward and wrapped me in a bone-crushing hug. I smiled softly and then pulled away. “I’m so proud of you, Vic. Shit,” he said with a sigh. “You’re going to be a great role model for Chloe and other fans,” he said.

I smiled, glad he said that. I really needed to hear that. “I hope so,” I sighed. “Does Zoe know about what happened yet?” I questioned. Mike turned around and I followed him into my bathroom. He hovered his hand over the toilet and I nodded approvingly, letting him drop the blade. I didn’t even flinch when he flushed it away.

“No,” Mike said.

“She needs to know,” I ran my fingers through my hair, stressed. “But I also want Chloe to trust me, you know?” I sighed.

“Just talk to Chloe. Hopefully she’ll tell Zoe herself. I know it can’t be easy…” Mike shook his head. “How are you, by the way?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You basically saved her life, Vic. And I heard how upset you were earlier. So how are you?”

“I’m okay,” I said. “I was just angry. But I’m fine. It’s fine.”

“Alright,” Mike said with a yawn.

“Where did Tony take Chloe to sleep?” I questioned. “The guest room?” Mike nodded. “Okay,” I said. I checked the time on the watch on my wrist, seeing it was just hitting two in the morning. I decided to go back to Charlie and take her back to my room. “Night,” I mumbled to Mike, who grunted tiredly as a response.

“Hey, Charlie,” I said softly, brushing my thumb across her cheek. She stirred quietly. I saw Mike settle on the couch next to Zoe again and I laughed quietly, seeing him pass out almost immediately. We always seemed to have nights after a tour where we crashed in random places. “C’mon,” I whispered gently. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled, sitting up. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I couldn’t resist kissing her lips. She kissed back eagerly and I chuckled. “Not so tired anymore, are we?” I laughed. She grinned and laughed a little, too. I lifted her up and carried her bridal style to my room, setting her down gently on my bed. Her arms still hooked around my neck, she pulled me towards her and I hovered over her, ducking my head and kissing her again. Before we could go any farther, though, there was a knock on the door. I kissed Charlie again, unable to get enough of her, and rolled off of the bed. I ran my fingers through my hair as I reached the door, opening it up. It was Tony.

“Hey man,” I yawned. “What’s up?”

“Um,” Tony rubbed the back of his neck. “I think you should check on Chloe,” he said. My eyes widened.

“Why? What? Is she okay?” I asked with concern.

“Yeah, yeah, she’s fine I think. I think she’s having a nightmare. I didn’t want to frighten her, though,” he said quietly. “I was listening out for her, ‘cause I was worried, and I heard her, but I figured she’d respond better to you…”

“Thanks, Tone,” I said, stepping into the hallway. I turned around to glance back at Charlie, but she was already curled up under the covers, asleep. I smiled and then turned my attention back to Tony.

“So much drama in the middle of the night, jeez,” I sighed—first Mike, now Chloe. Not that I was complaining, though, there was nothing I could do about it. It was just the fact that they were happening within ten minutes of each other that was kind of irritating. But it wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just life being the usual asshole.

I turned from Tony and went upstairs to the guest room. The door was already open, so I could see Chloe, shaking in the bed, soft whimpers escaping her lips. I frowned and my heart ached. I walked over to her and knelt by her head.

“Chloe?” I asked gently. Her face twisted and tears streamed down her face. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” I tried. I reached up and touched her shoulder as a form of comfort. Her eyes immediately snapped open and her hands went to her throat.

“Hey, don’t do that,” I said shakily. I put my hands on hers and eased them from around her neck. She started to cry. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

She shook her head and sniffled. “Nightmare,” she shook her head again.

“Do you want me to get your sister?” I asked quietly. She nodded. “Okay,” I said. I went to stand up but before I did, she lunged forward and clutched onto me tightly. I hugged her back, patting the back of her head. When her grip loosened, I stood up and kissed her forehead.

“Wait actually,” she said in a small voice. I turned back around and knelt down to her level again. She started to shake her head. Soon, her entire body started to shake. “I can’t,” she shook her head. “I really—no, she can’t know. I can’t—I can’t see her. I can’t see her!” she rambled, shaking her head furiously.

“Hey, it’s okay, Chloe,” I said. “You don't have to right now.”

She started breathing heavily, looking around as if her sister was going to pop out of nowhere. “Breathe, Chloe, it’s okay,” I said worriedly. Her shoulders started to shake and even in the dark I could see her face was turning purple. Understanding what was happening—a panic attack—I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her, holding her shaking body strongly. I rubbed her back and my face twisted. “Calm down, Chloe, it’s okay, I’ll be okay,” I kept repeating over and over and over. She was getting herself all worked up.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped after a few minutes passing.

“Don’t apologize,” I shook my head. “Are you okay?” I asked. She nodded, sniffling. I wiped her eyes and smiled weakly at her. “Can I get you anything? Water?” She shook her head.

“No thank you,” she whispered.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, referring to her nightmare.

She nodded, but then she shook her head. She couldn’t make up her mind, I chuckled a little. “You don’t have to right now,” I said warmly. She swallowed and nodded. Then, she looked away, shifting uncomfortably.

“You don’t have to feel embarrassed, Chloe. I have nightmares all the time,” I said softly. She looked up at me again.

“You do?” I nodded.

“Every night, actually,” I said quietly. Shocking me, Chloe outstretched her hand and lightly touched the brutal scar on my neck, the scar from so long ago but still reminded me of everything with Drew Sanders and Spence…

“What happened to you?” she asked softly. Her face immediately twisted as she realized she probably shouldn’t have asked that, but I just shook my head. Before she ripped her hand away, I lifted my hand and took hers in mine. I shook my head again and smiled gently.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” I said quietly.

“Sorry,” she said. I shook my head another time.

“The point is, Chloe… I have nightmares still. I’m a grown man who still has nightmares all of the time. You’re allowed to have nightmares, you’re allowed to cry, you’re allowed to feel like everything is over but just listen to me when I tell you it’s not. It’s not over, okay?” she nodded affirmatively. “I’m not trying to twist this on myself, but I’ve been through some sick shit and somehow I’m still here. Like I told you, I shot myself in my head yet somehow I’m still fucking alive,” she flinched as I said those blunt words but I carried on, “and, somehow, I am actually happy to be here. I’m not trying to compare our situations, because they are so different, but I’m just trying to say that no matter what you’ll be okay. You’re still here for a reason,” I emphasized. “As long as you have people in your life that care, you’ll be okay. And I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, if you need me to be your person, I will be your person. All of us will,” I rambled. I didn’t want her to think that my situation was “worse” than hers; I didn’t want to undermine what she was feeling. They were bad in their own, vastly different ways—but I think she understood.

“Thank you,” she said, crying. She leaned forward again over the side of the bed and hugged me, I hugged her back. “I knew—I knew you were my hero for a reason,” she sniffed. I smiled and petted her hair. After a few minutes, I knew she was calm, so I pulled away.

“Are you going to be okay the rest of the night?” I asked.

“Yes,” she sniffed. “Thank you… and I know you said not to apologize, but I’m sorry. It’s late and you’re exhausted and I’m sure you have a lot to deal with so I’m sorry for being a burden,” she rushed out.

“You’re not a burden, Chloe. Yes I’m tired and yes there’s a lot going on, I won’t lie, but that’s not your fault. I brought you here by choice. I can’t help everyone but I want to be there for you,” I said gently.

She nodded. I wasn’t entirely convinced that she didn’t feel guilty about being here, but I didn’t press her. I laughed a little though—I bet she wouldn’t expect, say, two months ago, to be sleeping in the same house as one of her favorite bands.

“What’s so funny?” she asked, and I realized I had laughed out loud. I scratched the back of my neck and chuckled again.

“I’m just thinking, how many other fans would kill to be where you are right now,” I laughed. She giggled a little.

“They’d probably literally kill, though,” she considered.

“Yeah, some might,” I laughed again. Chloe smiled and then yawned. “Sorry, you probably want to sleep, now,” I said, nudging her back. She nodded and curled on her side.

“Thanks for everything. You’re right, though. It’s weird to think that I’m one fan out of thousands…” she trailed off and shook her head.

“Don’t think about it too much,” I chuckled, ruffling her hair. “You’re a friend now, anyway,” I said.

She smiled and blinked slowly. “Get some rest,” I said gently, leaning over and kissing her head. She smiled again and closed her eyes, hopefully falling asleep quickly into a nightmare-less sleep. I was glad, at least, that she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

I stood up and turned, keeping the door half open just in case. Tony was back, and even though I probably should have been the one doing so he was sleeping in the room over—Mike’s room—listening out for Chloe. Tony was so caring. I carefully walked down the stairs to return to my room, where Charlie was.

She was asleep. I kicked my pants off and gently climbed onto the bed, crawling behind her. I snuck under the covers and wrapped my arms around her sleeping body, kissing her shoulder before burying my head in her hair. She hardly stirred but shifted a little in my arms. I imagined that I wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight with everything going on, but I ended up being able to fall asleep in an instant.

When I woke up, though, it was after a night of tossing and turning. I could feel that my eyes were swollen and my brain was tainted with fresh nightmares.

“Hey…” I looked to my left, seeing Charlie looking at me with concern. She crawled over to me and placed her hand over the far side of my face. I turned my head and smiled at her.

“Hey,” I said.

“You okay?” she asked softly. I nodded and smiled, rolling closer to her.

“Bad sleep,” I shrugged it off.

“I’m sorry,” she frowned.

“Not your fault,” I said, smiling gently again. “How are you?” I asked, running my fingers through her hair.

She smiled. “I’m good,” she said.

“Hey, what happened here?” I furrowed my brows, touching her lip with my fingertips. It was swollen and chewed up. “Why are you gnawing on your lips like that?” I asked.

“It’s an old habit,” she sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “I guess I did it in my sleep,” she reasoned. I furrowed my eyebrows again but I nodded. Was she stressed about something? “If you ever see me doing it, tell me to knock it off, please,” she laughed. I agreed with a nod, quickly leaning forward and pecking her lips.

“So, what are we doing today?” I asked.

“I was thinking I’d take you into the tattoo shop, you can meet the group I work with. And I think Mike was talking about getting new ink,” she explained.

“That sounds good,” I smiled. I rolled out of bed and put on some sweatpants, changing into a fresh shirt. “What time?” I asked.

“I have to go in at two,” she said. I checked the time—it was ten in the morning.

“Okay,” I said. “I’m going to make breakfast for everyone. They all slept over last night.” She laughed a little and nodded.

“Okay,” she said, her voice a little deflated but that was probably because she had just woken up, plus it was a simple word. She smiled and I turned, going to the kitchen.

“Hey, good morning,” I said to Tony and Chloe, who were sitting at the kitchen table. Chloe smiled shyly at me and Tony waved. “Are you guys the only ones up?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Tony said with a yawn. “Actually, Jaime went home earlier, he left a note.” I nodded.

“Were you waiting for me to make breakfast or something?” I laughed, seeing that they were just sitting there.

“Yeah,” Tony said. “I told Chloe that you made the best pancakes. Go prove me right,” he nodded to the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and flicked his forehead, turning to go get started. I ruffled Chloe’s hair as I passed her.

In thirty minutes, all the pancakes were stacked and the intoxicating smell of my serious baking skills had lured Mike and Zoe in. Charlie was still in my room, though, so after setting plates down for the hungry and smiling animals, I went over to check on her.

“Charlie?” I asked softly when I entered. She was sitting up, her legs dangling over the side of the bed and her head down. I frowned and walked up to her, tracing my hand down her face until my fingers reached her chin, lifting her head up gently. “What’s the matter?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I was just thinking about something,” she shrugged her shoulders.

“About what?” I asked, sitting down next to her and wrapping an arm around her. I leaned over and kissed her cheek. She smiled briefly.

“Just stuff, I zoned out. It’s nothing important,” she said.

“Are you sure? Is there anything you want to talk about?” I asked.

“No, I’m good. Sorry, I really zoned out,” she chuckled a little.

“Okay,” I said, not entirely convinced but I didn’t want to press it. She turned her head and smiled, making me smile, too. Her eyes were bright, always shining into my world and making everything better. She leaned forward and I lifted my right arm, holding the left side of her head as we kissed.

I kissed her with as much love as I could muster. Why did I always have to fall in love so fast? That was why I was afraid to tell her. If I told her now she’d probably be gone tomorrow, just like Spencer. I was stupid, but at least I had a heart to give again. I never thought that would be able to happen. So instead of telling her, I just kissed her, hoping she would get the message. She smiled as I pulled away, I think she knew. I knew.

“I made pancakes,” I said after a few moments.

“Sounds good,” she smiled and leaned forward, resting her head on my forehead. I kissed her again, the only thing I was really hungry for right now being nothing more than her lips.

She giggled and pulled away. I laced my fingers through hers and we stood up together.

“They’re probably fucking,” I heard Mike say.

I groaned and rolled my eyes. “He’s a pervert, don’t mind him, Chloe,” I said, coming into view. I shot Mike an unimpressed look and he just laughed, shoving a forkful of pancakes into his mouth.

During breakfast, I told Mike that Charlie was taking me to work, asking if he wanted to tag along for tattoo purposes. He had practically exploded out of his chair to get ready, surprising us all when he kissed Zoe on the lips, right there in front of us. Chloe scratched the back of her neck, blushing for her sister.

“He’s very outgoing,” I offered. Zoe giggled a little, blushing, too.

“Thanks for having us, by the way,” she spoke up.

“It’s no problem,” I smiled, patting Chloe’s leg with my words. “We like having friends over,” I added, shrugging my shoulders. It was true. The more people that were around, the safer I felt.

“You say that like I live here, too,” Tony said.

“You practically do.” Tony nodded in agreement with a laugh.

----

After breakfast, Chloe’s sister took her back to her house. Charlie and I were teasing Mike the entire drive to the tattoo parlor about his public display of affection for Zoe. Not that I cared, though; as long as he was happy—that is, as long as he was happy while not fucking up girls emotionally, too. I didn’t think he was, though, so that was a start.

I was worried for Chloe to go back to her house, but she said her parents would be home soon and they should probably get back. I had pulled Chloe aside and encouraged her to tell Zoe what happened, promising that even though it would be bad at first, she’d feel a lot better getting it off of her chest. She said that she would text or call me if there was a problem and would definitely let me know once she decided to tell her family how she felt.

“Earth to Vic,” Mike sang, waving his hand in front of my face. I blinked and smiled, seeing that we had arrived at the tattoo shop. It seemed that, while I was gone, Charlie had built herself a nice little life here in San Diego, which made me happy. Now that she has proved she can be independent—not that I doubted her—I was secretly hoping she’d let me steal her for a month or two, take her on tour maybe. Even though she wanted her job, she didn’t really need it—I was more than willing to let her live with me and let me take care of everything, but I understood that she felt like she needed to have her own life. I was too lovey-dovey for my own good, really.

“Charlie!” people cheered when we entered the shop. She grinned at her coworkers, giggling when they attacked her in hugs as if they haven’t seen each other in months.

“Hey guys,” she said softly. She turned to me and smiled. “Vic, this is Lacey, Fallon, and Seth,” she introduced me. I smiled broadly and shook all their hands.

“Nice to meet you guys,” I said. “Oh,” I turned, gesturing to Mike. “That’s my brother, Mike,” I said.

“Hey,” he said coolly. Charlie explained that Mike was interested in getting a new tattoo, or at least making an appointment for one, and the male—named Seth—offered to help him out.

I noticed Lacey eye Charlie, and Charlie shook her head. I chuckled a little, wondering what they were trying to communicate with each other but figuring it was just a girl thing.

“Charlie’s awesome to work with. You’ve got a good one,” Fallon said to me. I grinned and gazed at Charlie, agreeing with Fallon. “Excuse me,” she smiled kindly, leaving to go deal with a few guys that had walked in. Charlie grabbed my hand suddenly, just as Lacey, who she had been talking to a moment ago, left to talk to more costumers. Seemed like they were pretty busy today.

“You okay?” I asked softly, a little worried about her. I was just being too defensive, though. I couldn’t help it.

“Great,” she said, smiling.

“When do you get off?” I asked as she walked to the right where a desk was set up.

“Just until five. It’s a short day, Sundays,” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Can I see what you’re working on?” I grinned as she sat down. I took a few locks of hair in my fingers, twirling it around while standing behind her.

She giggled a little and shook her head, keeping her binder closed. “I’m secretive,” she said. As she said that, I couldn’t lie and say I didn’t see the way her face paled slightly.

“Are you okay?” I asked for what felt like the thousandth time today. She seemed off today. Actually, she seemed off ever since Friday night, the night of the last tour date.

I suddenly remembered the way Charlie had frozen up on the way back from the meet and greet. She had squeezed my arm and seemed petrified of whoever “they” were. I never got to ask her about that again—it had slipped my mind. I remembered now because she was acting the same way as that night.

She didn’t answer. Instead, she stood up and stepped around me. I wasn’t sure where she was going but the three men who had come in a few minutes ago were turned, walking in the direction of the exit except they stopped when they saw Charlie.

“Well I’ll be damned,” one of them breathed, looking at Charlie in a way that made me feel super protective over her. She froze mid-step, her face looking regretful for even moving. Charlie wasn’t looking at them—she wasn’t looking at anyone. She was staring at the ground. I rushed to her side, placing a hand on the small of her back.

“Charlie Daniels?” The other guy piped up. She gripped my arm tightly, just like Friday night, and I stared at everyone in confusion.

“I knew we’d find her somewhere!” the third guy chimed. “You haven’t changed a bit, dollface,” he said, his voice sweet yet sneering at the same time. I was too confused to say anything.

They started to walk towards us, Charlie stiffening even more. “You’re with him now?” the first one asked as the other two walked by, exiting the shop.

“Hey, leave her alone,” I said calmly, yet impatiently.

“Tough guy,” he chuckled. He reached his arm out and ran his fingers down the side of her face. She cowered away and my body heated up in anger. I stepped forward and shoved him away. This was all too familiar—someone messing with my girl—and I wasn’t about to sit around and let it happen again.

“Don’t touch her,” I growled. The man just laughed.

“Whatever you say, pretty boy.” He rolled his eyes and started to walk away. As he passed me, though, he slapped his hand down on my shoulder, gripping it firmly. “Have fun with her. I know we did,” he snickered as he walked away. My veins iced over and I turned to Charlie. She had a scowl written across her features.

“Charlie?” I murmured quietly, waiting for her to say something. She was clearly upset. I looked up to see Mike and her three coworkers staring with concern. I gently grabbed her hand and she followed as I led her to the back of the shop, glancing at them for permission first and they nodded.

“Who were those guys, Charlie?” I asked frantically, in a hushed tone as soon as we got to the back. Before she answered, I spoke again. “Do you know them? Charlie, are those the guys from…” my voice trailed off—I didn’t want to say it. But she knew what I was thinking. But how would they know her name?

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, looking away.

“What are you sorry for? Who are those guys? Talk to me,” I said as softly as possibly, although I could feel myself beginning to get worked up.

Tears fell from her eyes and she lifted her hands to her face, crying into her palms. “Hey…” I murmured, stepping forward to hold her gently. She shook her head and shrugged me away from her, taking a step back.

Swallowing down the hurt and confusion, I asked, “What is the matter? Please just tell me what’s going on!”

She started to stutter, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying. “Charlie,” I begged.

“No,” she shook her head. “I’m sorry. I have to go,” she rushed. Whoever those men were, their presence had cracked her open. She went to walk past me, but I desperately grabbed her hand.

“Don’t go, Charlie. Just talk to me. Please don’t go,” I said. She squeezed my hand tightly and for a second I thought she wasn’t going to let go, but she did. She shook her head again.

“I’m sorry. I have to take care of this. I-I can’t,” she kept shaking her head.

“What is it, Charlie? Take care of what? Just tell me what’s going on. I can help you!”

“No, you can’t be involved,” she mumbled, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “This was a mistake,” she mumbled again. My heart dropped.

“What was a mistake?” I whispered. She couldn’t mean that, could she?

“Not you, Vic,” she laughed a little and shook her head. “God, not you,” she said. I felt a little better but not by much. There was still something she obviously wasn’t telling me—who were those guys who knew her by name, who seemed to know her personally, that made her so anxious yet closed off? “It was a mistake, thinking I could start fresh without dealing with…” her voice trailed off. She laughed again. “You never asked.”

“Don’t tell me that I don’t know you, don’t say that,” I said weakly.

“You do. I’ve never told you anything, but you know me. You know me, but you don’t know… you don’t know the girl I left behind in Santa Cruz… you don’t really know how happy I was to wash up miles away from there…” her voice quieted and she closed her eyes. “It was stupid. And I have to deal with it,” she said.

“Let me help you deal with it. Whatever it is, whoever those guys are, it’s not you anymore, I know it. We can fix whatever it is. Damn it, Charlie, I let you help me with my past, let me help you,” I tried. Her lip trembled and she shook her head. I felt dizzy. She went to turn again, but I desperately grabbed her wrist.

“Let go of me,” she ordered, her head turned so she wasn’t looking at me.

“No, please, please don’t… I-I, I can’t lose you. Don’t leave, please. You said just yesterday I wasn’t going to lose you… please…” I begged pathetically.

“I said let go of me,” she said, her voice painfully angry. My grip on her arm loosened, my face burned.

“Where are you going to go, huh?” I asked, my voice cracking.

“I can’t be here. Now that they know where I am, who you are, I can’t be here. My time here is up,” she said.

“No, no, no,” I shook my head. My time here is up—that sounded so permanent! “Charlie you can’t leave. Please don’t fucking leave me! Everybody leaves!” I cried selfishly, although it was the truth.

“Sorry,” she said icily.

“I… Charlie I lo—”

Before I could finish my sentence, Charlie turned quickly, the coldness in her eyes shocking me and keeping me from finishing my sentence.

“Don’t say that,” she said in a small, quiet voice. With that, she turned around and pulled the curtain to the side, exiting the back of the shop without another word or second glance.

Dumbfounded, I couldn’t bring my legs to chase after her.

“Vic?” the curtain slid open again, revealing my brother. “What just happened? Are you okay?” he asked worriedly. “Why did Charlie just leave? What’s going on?” he continued to question. I slapped my hand to my chest, clutching the fabric of my shirt and digging my nails into my skin. “Vic…” Mike said slowly. My face twisted and my knees wobbled. Was I being dramatic? Probably. Could I control it? Absolutely not. I gave in to the pressure in my head and chest and let my legs go, falling down to my knees. I leaned forward and coughed on air—I was choking, I couldn’t breathe. My right hand still clutched at my heart, my other arm straightened out and my left hand flattened on the ground, supporting my hunched over body.

Just like that, I was crumbing into the weak person I hated to become. But I refused to believe that I had put my heart in the wrong hands, again. Maybe, I was just making the mistake of giving my heart away so damn easily.

The pain felt real. I didn’t know if she was leaving for ten minutes or for forever, but both made me hurt because of the unknown factor. I didn’t know if she was going to be back sooner or later or never.

“Vic, Jesus Christ,” Mike mumbled. He gripped my shoulders and picked me up, but I couldn’t stand. He set me down in a chair. “What is the matter with you?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, still holding a tight fist against my heart. “She said her time here is up, that she has to go, that she can’t be here anymore. Everything was fine. Why is she leaving? Where is she going?” I slurred. “She said I wouldn’t lose her, now she’s making me lose her…” It didn’t make sense.

Mike looked confused, as well. He grimaced and let out a sigh. “Why would she make that promise if she knew something bad had the potential to resurface?”

“Maybe she didn’t know…” Mike tried.

“Or maybe she’s just… stupid,” I muttered.

“You’re stupid,” Mike said nonchalantly. I looked up at him, furrowing my eyebrows. “What? You are, stupid. You get stupid when you fall in love. But so does most people. It blinds you.”

“Then I don’t want to be in love,” I said, anger sweeping over me. I clenched my hands into tight fists and gritted my teeth. Mike rolled his eyes.

“Anger blinds you, too,” he noted. I shot up out of the chair, my body numb but at least it was holding itself up.

I wanted to scream at him, but I didn’t want to cause a scene. I growled at him and shoved his shoulder. “Stop making me feel like a moron. I already know that myself,” I muttered as I passed him. He reached out for me to stop me from leaving but I shoved him away again, exiting the back. Charlie’s coworkers were minding their own business, although the tall one—Lacey—glanced at me with concern from over her shoulder. I smiled and nodded politely, calmly walking out of the building.

I breathed in a sharp breath, looking around. Last time I lost someone, I sat for thirty minutes with my head on the table of a Starbucks in defeat. This time, I wasn’t going to wait around for something to happen.

Although, this time was a lot different. It seemed like Charlie was leaving me by choice.

Notes