Maybe I Could Love You Again

~ 3 months later ~

It's been 3 months since I last saw him. He sends visiting orders for me, I don't respond. I can't bring myself to go back to that place. I can talk to him via short phone calls, but I don't think I'll get back to the prison to see him. I know he wants me to, I really want to but I just can't do it. I'd maybe reconsider if I had someone to go with but Mike and Jaime are busy with their girlfriend's and I never wanted to ask Vic.

"You're day dreaming." my older's brother voice snapped me from my thoughts.

"Sorry, I'm just so bored." I whined. It wasn't a lie because I felt more bored than a bored donkey. "What time will Mike be back?"

"He won't." Nothing more were said. I ended up twiddling my thumbs while Vic concentrated on his own work. Maybe I should get a job, but then I'd only have to quit so I could go on tour. So I guess that idea is out the window. I was seriously turning into one lazy bitch and I didn't like it one bit. I was never the lazy type but then again I was different back then. Getting up, I decided I'd go for a walk. I didn't even say bye, I just left. I can bet you my life that he probably thinks it's Mike. As I walked, I took a lot of the scenery in. I didn't know where I was going, but I figured it wouldn't even matter. "Good afternoon Claire."

"Hey Bree, where's your mom?" I asked the little girl who was stood in front of me.

"Inside. She's making cookies." she grinned at me.

"Well you have a good day little one. I'll see you later." I continued on my walk, greeting different people. I had managed to reach town, I didn't even need to be in town, but I needed the fresh air and it did me the world of good. I sat down in my usual spot by the fountain watching people run around doing their daily activities, it was fair to say that I looked at the world differently now. You never know what someone goes through, they may look happy on outside but inside they could be facing the fear of a lifetime. Fear. That's a powerful thing, fear controls you. It causes you to become irrational. It makes you do things you never thought you could do. It makes you feel powerful, but it also makes you feel powerless.

You don't realise the little things until something devstating comes along to change your whole perspective on the world and life. Take Mike for instance, he had the whole world. He had everything he could wish for, but he also took a lot for granted. That was until his ordeal. It changed him, for better and for worse. It's funny how something can affect how the brain thinks, how it works. It affects your whole body and there's nothing you can do to stop it. When I look back, what happene to me changed me for the better. I managed to get free from all my problems. I managed to break all my bad habits. I became a better person.

"Fuentes, long time." My head snapped up to see someone I considered a friend at one time. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"You startled me. What are you doing here? You betrayed me." I shot back.

"You really think I wanted to?" his face fell, I felt an instant pang of guilt. Of course he didn't mean to. Alex was a manipulative fucker who could get anyone to do anything.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He shrugged it off. We walked and talked, all the back to my house. I invited him in, I knew I'd get twenty questions as to who the guy was. But Vic didn't even look up. He didn't speak, he looked too engrossed in whatever it was he doing. I motioned for Jack to follow me into the kitchen. As he sat down, I got us both a drink. I was a little cautious, I didn't know what he wanted or why he was even talking to me and if I'm honest that terrified me. "Did you hear the news?"

"Yeah, you're free now." he smiled.

"Free and living life. Hey, do you fancy going out tonight?" I suggested. I could do with getting a decent night out. To hell with being cautious, I won't be on edge around someone. He nodded, making me grin at him. "Well you can stay with Vic while I get ready." I bounced out the kitchen and upstairs. This would be a night I wouldn't forget.

* * *

"I'm off out Vic." I called from the front door. Straight he came running from the kitchen, inspecting my choice of outfit. Still the same old Vic. He nodded as if he was approving of it.

"Don't drink too much, be careful, don't come home too late and have fun." I rolled my eyes at him. He turned his attention to Jack. "You better look after her, if you don't I'll tear you apart with my bare hands." Jack looked at Vic as if he had gone crazy, I suppressed a laugh knowing that this were nothing out of the ordinary. He was protective before, even more so now but I've learnt to get used to it. It didn't take us long to arrive at the club, the heat hit me like a ton of bricks. Grabbing Jack's hand I pulled him through the crowd and straight to the bar. Sitting up at the bar, we ordered our first round and began talking between ourselves. I wasn't too bothered about not dancing or even talking to anyone else, it were just nice to get away from home and relax.

"Have you been too see Tony?" he asked out of the blue.

"Once, I can't face going in there." I sighed. "Have you been?"

"Three times. It's slowly draining him." I couldn't tell if he was actually concerned or if he was trying to make me feel guilty. Either way I felt guilty for not going to see him. I ordered the strongest drink, downing it as quick as possible. I cringed a bit at the taste but it seemed to ease my guilt. I stood up, grabbing Jack's hand pulling him onto the dancefloor with me. I had no idea where this sudden confidence came from, but I wasn't complaining. As we danced, we continued our drinking, we became closer and closer and I was beginning to forget everything.

"I need a break.." I shouted over the music, detaching myself from him. I knew what was going to happen if we continued to be that close. I couldn't allow it. I pushed myself through the crowd, resting myself against the bar as I got my mind together. I ended up at the bar on my own, drinking on my own and drinking my sorrows away as I watched Jack mingle with all the girls he could find. After each drink, I slammed the glasses down harder and harder. I came here to have a good time and here I was feeling sorry for myself watching the person I was suppose to be having fun with, have fun without me. "Just keep them coming..." I muttered, hoping the bar tender had heard me.

"What's a pretty girl li---"

"I'm with someone." Off they went. Why do people do that? See a girl at the bar and assume she's alone. Do I really look like the type of person who'd come to a club on my own? Actually don't answer that, I probably would come to the club on my own just to have a good time. I could feel myself becoming less in control of myself, of my speech, of everything. Jack decided to re join me again, he was pretty sober which kind of scared me but who cares? I saw his lips move but I never heard what came out of them. I watched him carefully, trying to make out what he was doing. He helped me down from the stool, grabbing me as my legs give way. I felt myself fight against him, I felt myself shout, kick and scream. I didn't want to leave. Especially not with him right now.

As soon as he managed to get me outside, I spotted my older brother walking down the street. I tried to wriggle free from Jack's grip. I was in trouble now and I didn't need to be shouted at for havinga good time. "Thanks for calling me, I'll take her home."

"I'm not going!" I shouted, then I got hit with the giggles. Vic continued to talk with Jack as I laughed at nothing while trying to glare at them both. I watched Jack walk away, before I looked at my older brother. He was shaking his head at me as he grabbed me. I refused to move, causing him to glare at me. "Lighten up.."

"If you don't start walking, we'll do this the hard way." I stuck my tongue out at him, I was getting brave by testing him. With a quick movement, he picked me up, putting me over his shoulder. Further down the street, he put me in the car. I rummaged around in the back, my hand colliding with a glass bottle. I smirked as I put it up. Thank you Mike. I opened it, drinking it as Vic tried to get it off me the entire journey home. When we arrived, I opened the door, making myself fall out the car. I led there, laughing and singing loudly. I heard the neighbours shout at Vic about something. He apologised before he picked me off the floor, taking me inside. He sat me on the couch, going into the kitchen. I still had the bottle of whiskey in my hands, I went to drink some more only to have it removed from my hands. I looked up too see Vic stood there, arms folded across his chest.

"What? I'm having fun." I smiled innocently at him.

"Well fuck, what am I supposed to be impressed?" he stated. I let out a loud laugh.

"Did you really just quote your own lyrics to me?" I reached forward ready to grab the bottle, I could see him getting more angry as I continued to ignore his protests. Unfolding his arms, he picked up the bottle, throwing it against the wall. "Victor!"
"Claire Felicia-Regina Fuentes, mirar el estado de ustedes. Estás hecho un desastre." he shouted at me.

"Quit the spanish. What is the problem? I had fun." I stood myself up. He looked at me, glaring at me with a hint of disappointment in his expression. He didn't reply, he just walked off muttering something under his breath. I heard him reach the top of the stairs, the footsteps didn't continue. He was listening in to see what I was about to do. I got myself sorted and left the house, slamming the door behind me. I just reached the end of the path when Mike arrived home. He was in just as bad of a state then me. He spotted me, running up to me, engulfing me into a hug. Once he put me down, he looked straight into my eyes. "What's going on?"

"Just don't go home." my voice was shaky, I could feel myself getting upset. I think he caught on. "I'm going to Jaime's for the night."

"If you want to hear stuff, I wouldn't." he laughed.

"Gross. Looks like I'm going back home." I sighed. He walked back with me, putting him arm around my shoulder holding me closer. When we arrived back, Vic was now back downstairs. I could tell he was about to really have a screaming match with me. Mike told me to go to bed. He only ever told me that when a massive argument was going to happen. I nodded and headed up to bed. I was right, the second they thought I was out of the way they started yelling at each other.

Here's to an night full of my two brothers yelling at each other.

Notes