The Tour Life Of Adriana Perry
I'll Do It
The rest of the week I spent doing the usual things. Taking Bianca to school, going into town, home, I even began to become friends with Brandi and Delia. She wasn't all bad, she was actually quite nice to get along with. I guess it was always my jealously, let's be honest it was always jealously because she was beautiful and I was just plain boring me. I've also still been ignoring James' calls and messages. I've only really spoken to my uncles, they were worried about me.
“Brandi's here mom!” I heard Bianca shout from the living area.
“Send her through and come get your lunch.” I heard her feet, she hopped up on the seat and began eating. I motioned to Brandi to join me outside.
“Ben called me this morning, he thinks you've fallen out with him. I told him you hadn't, that it was James's fault.”
“Thanks. I shouldn't be avoiding them I know but I feel like they're somewhat to blame. I'm being stupid I know but I'm trying not to blame them.” I sighed. She put a hand on my shoulder and pulled me into a side hug. I never thought I'd see the day I'd be friends with someone's ex. Especially while I was in a relationship with that person. She stayed with me the rest of the day, helping me round the house, helping me with Bianca. I was grateful for the help, with Hannah and Frances still on the tour I got lonely on my own when Bianca was at school.
“I'll pop round tomorrow, we'll have a lazy but girly day.” she smiled before crossing over into her house. It was 6pm by now and I had no plans. This is what having no social life feels like. I shut the door and sighed. I hadn't even noticed Bianca had got herself into her pyjama's and was already sat on the sofa watching her before bed shows.
I honestly felt so lost and alone these days. Maybe that was because I was so used to be around people and now I'm just on my own. “Mommy? How does Brandi know Daddy James?”
“They used to be like me and him.” I smiled at her. She didn't question it further, she probably understood what I meant. But the next thing she said shocked me.
“Dylan said you weren't a nice mom, but I think you're wonderful.” She didn't call him dad or daddy. I wondered if my grand-parents had something to do with that. As much as I didn't like him, I never once told her to not call him dad. “Can James be my new daddy?”
“We'll see sweetheart.” She hugged my side and went back to watching her shows. I knew tonight would be peaceful, the boys were on stage tonight so I wouldn't get a million calls. It wasn't long till Bianca wanted to go to bed, I got her settled, got myself changed and sat back on the sofa. I was flicking through channels, over and over before I got fed up and went to bed myself.
***
8am. My hand banged around trying to find the alarm to switch it off. I eventually found it. Throwing the covers off me, I got straight up. Bianca was still in bed, fast asleep. I decided to leave her there until she was ready to get up. Picking up my phone, I ran my fingers through my hair and dialled a number I never thought I'd dial just yet.
Hello?
Morning. Time to wake up.
Who is this?
James stop being a douche. I heard him laugh slightly.
I got your voicemail, strangely I'm not mad. Just upset that you'd do that.
We'll talk about this when I get home in...just over a month.
No, we're talk--- The line went dead. Did he just hang up on me? I threw my phone onto the bed and went downstairs. Just as I got to the front door, three loud bangs came from it. To say it made me jump would be a total understatement. I unlocked it slowly, hoping to god it wasn't some mass murderer on the other side. I peered through it slightly, I straightened up while opening it fully. “Shit Kels, you look rough.”
“Yeah, cheers.” I told him to come inside. He really did look like he was having a tough time. I prayed he hadn't turned back to his old ways. He stood awkwardly in the living area. He eventually sat down, not properly. More of a propped on the edge. I studied him carefully, not wanting to start the conversation. His hands were trembling slightly. His eyes were bloodshot ever so slightly and he looked like he hadn't slept in a week.
“I went backwards.” His eyes didn't leave the spot he was staring at. “Katelynne kicked me out, the guys have washed their hands of me. I didn't know what else to do...”
“I thought we were both past that, especially you.” I sighed.
“Yeah so did I. That was until I found out she was slee--” he stopped talking. I got what he was about to say. I can't say much on the subject due to me doing the same to him at the beginning of our relationship. A little voice behind us made me turn my head. “I'll sort her out, you get yourself sorted.”
I got up and began doing the usual morning routine. Only without the school bit, thank god for weekends eh? I hadn't planned anything today so once she was ready, she headed out back to play. I still hadn't found a proper friend for her round here. I had cancelled the girly day I had planned with Brandi. She understood and agreed we'd do it another day. Kellin soon returned, he looked a bit better.
“I'm sorry to be being a burden. But I didn't kno---”
“It's fine. Plus I think Bianca's missing you. You're welcome to stay here as long as you like. That's if you don't mind using the couch.” His eyes wandered all over me. Stopping on my bump. I couldn't work out his expression. I gave him a small smile before attending to clearing up the breakfast things. I had to think I how was going to explain this one to James when he got back.
“Does she know about the baby?” he finally spoke up.
“Yeah, she's excited.” I muttered as I looked out the window at Bianca running around with a smile on her face. Sighing I placed the last plate down, dried my hands and turned to face Kellin. I was about to say something when the front door opened and shut. “I'm homeee.” I heard bags drop, then he appeared. Now usually, you'd be happy if someone had come home early from tour but I certainly was not happy about it.
“This is awkward.”
“You're back early.” I stated. He shrugged and walked out back to see Bianca. Kellin gave me a questioning look. I waved it off and got set to work on cleaning. I had been doing a lot of cleaning lately. By time my new baby would be there the house will be as sterile as a bottle of bleach. James and Bianca had come back inside, Kellin was awkwardly wandering around. “Kels? Will you take Bianca to the playroom downstairs?”
“Sure.” He took my little girls hand and off they went. James was stood in the doorway, leaning against it. He looked hot like that but I wasn't going to allow that to distract me right now. I was mad at him, but I don't think he realised just how upset I was. “Why did you do it?”
“Do what?” Oh how typical, act all innocent. I pulled out my phone and played the voicemail. His eyes widened. “That was a total mistake.” I snorted a little. A mistake? That's what everyone says who is caught. Believe me, I'm an expert.
“A mistake? I'm sat here everyday, feeling lost. I'm walking around with your baby growing inside me and you say it's a mistake?” My voice raised. I took a few deep breaths to try and calm me down.
“I was seriously mess---”
“You're sleeping down here. Stay away from me.” I said, my voice was now surprisingly calm. I walked past him and went downstairs. Bianca was sat on the bean bags, head on Kellin's lap while he read her a story. I told him he would have to share my room with me now I had kicked James out of it. He gave me a small smile before turning his attention back to the story. I sat down there with them, before deciding to tidy up a bit. I really needed to stop tidying things that didn't need to be done. My thoughts trailed back to the fact that I now had to share a room with my ex who was back to his old ways. But I knew what I was doing. I was playing a game now, a dangerous game but it was a game I was going to win no matter what.
I bent down, feeling a sharp twinge in my stomach. I stood up straight again. That didn't feel good. I didn't like the way that felt. I carried on making myself busy, trying to take my mind off it. “Toilet break...” I muttered.
I wandered back upstairs, through the living area where James was now sat watching something about nature on the television. I went up another flight of stairs, I just got a short distance away from the bathroom when another sharp twinge hit me. My hand banged against the wall as I put a hand over my small bump. It calmed down a bit so I made my way to the bathroom.
I noticed it as soon as I sat down. It's normal to have blood right? Yeah. It must be. I've read about it. I finished up, changed my panties, washed my hands and went back out with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew what this meant. But I wouldn't tell anyone, I'd deal with it myself.
I had to get through this myself.
“Brandi's here mom!” I heard Bianca shout from the living area.
“Send her through and come get your lunch.” I heard her feet, she hopped up on the seat and began eating. I motioned to Brandi to join me outside.
“Ben called me this morning, he thinks you've fallen out with him. I told him you hadn't, that it was James's fault.”
“Thanks. I shouldn't be avoiding them I know but I feel like they're somewhat to blame. I'm being stupid I know but I'm trying not to blame them.” I sighed. She put a hand on my shoulder and pulled me into a side hug. I never thought I'd see the day I'd be friends with someone's ex. Especially while I was in a relationship with that person. She stayed with me the rest of the day, helping me round the house, helping me with Bianca. I was grateful for the help, with Hannah and Frances still on the tour I got lonely on my own when Bianca was at school.
“I'll pop round tomorrow, we'll have a lazy but girly day.” she smiled before crossing over into her house. It was 6pm by now and I had no plans. This is what having no social life feels like. I shut the door and sighed. I hadn't even noticed Bianca had got herself into her pyjama's and was already sat on the sofa watching her before bed shows.
I honestly felt so lost and alone these days. Maybe that was because I was so used to be around people and now I'm just on my own. “Mommy? How does Brandi know Daddy James?”
“They used to be like me and him.” I smiled at her. She didn't question it further, she probably understood what I meant. But the next thing she said shocked me.
“Dylan said you weren't a nice mom, but I think you're wonderful.” She didn't call him dad or daddy. I wondered if my grand-parents had something to do with that. As much as I didn't like him, I never once told her to not call him dad. “Can James be my new daddy?”
“We'll see sweetheart.” She hugged my side and went back to watching her shows. I knew tonight would be peaceful, the boys were on stage tonight so I wouldn't get a million calls. It wasn't long till Bianca wanted to go to bed, I got her settled, got myself changed and sat back on the sofa. I was flicking through channels, over and over before I got fed up and went to bed myself.
***
8am. My hand banged around trying to find the alarm to switch it off. I eventually found it. Throwing the covers off me, I got straight up. Bianca was still in bed, fast asleep. I decided to leave her there until she was ready to get up. Picking up my phone, I ran my fingers through my hair and dialled a number I never thought I'd dial just yet.
Hello?
Morning. Time to wake up.
Who is this?
James stop being a douche. I heard him laugh slightly.
I got your voicemail, strangely I'm not mad. Just upset that you'd do that.
We'll talk about this when I get home in...just over a month.
No, we're talk--- The line went dead. Did he just hang up on me? I threw my phone onto the bed and went downstairs. Just as I got to the front door, three loud bangs came from it. To say it made me jump would be a total understatement. I unlocked it slowly, hoping to god it wasn't some mass murderer on the other side. I peered through it slightly, I straightened up while opening it fully. “Shit Kels, you look rough.”
“Yeah, cheers.” I told him to come inside. He really did look like he was having a tough time. I prayed he hadn't turned back to his old ways. He stood awkwardly in the living area. He eventually sat down, not properly. More of a propped on the edge. I studied him carefully, not wanting to start the conversation. His hands were trembling slightly. His eyes were bloodshot ever so slightly and he looked like he hadn't slept in a week.
“I went backwards.” His eyes didn't leave the spot he was staring at. “Katelynne kicked me out, the guys have washed their hands of me. I didn't know what else to do...”
“I thought we were both past that, especially you.” I sighed.
“Yeah so did I. That was until I found out she was slee--” he stopped talking. I got what he was about to say. I can't say much on the subject due to me doing the same to him at the beginning of our relationship. A little voice behind us made me turn my head. “I'll sort her out, you get yourself sorted.”
I got up and began doing the usual morning routine. Only without the school bit, thank god for weekends eh? I hadn't planned anything today so once she was ready, she headed out back to play. I still hadn't found a proper friend for her round here. I had cancelled the girly day I had planned with Brandi. She understood and agreed we'd do it another day. Kellin soon returned, he looked a bit better.
“I'm sorry to be being a burden. But I didn't kno---”
“It's fine. Plus I think Bianca's missing you. You're welcome to stay here as long as you like. That's if you don't mind using the couch.” His eyes wandered all over me. Stopping on my bump. I couldn't work out his expression. I gave him a small smile before attending to clearing up the breakfast things. I had to think I how was going to explain this one to James when he got back.
“Does she know about the baby?” he finally spoke up.
“Yeah, she's excited.” I muttered as I looked out the window at Bianca running around with a smile on her face. Sighing I placed the last plate down, dried my hands and turned to face Kellin. I was about to say something when the front door opened and shut. “I'm homeee.” I heard bags drop, then he appeared. Now usually, you'd be happy if someone had come home early from tour but I certainly was not happy about it.
“This is awkward.”
“You're back early.” I stated. He shrugged and walked out back to see Bianca. Kellin gave me a questioning look. I waved it off and got set to work on cleaning. I had been doing a lot of cleaning lately. By time my new baby would be there the house will be as sterile as a bottle of bleach. James and Bianca had come back inside, Kellin was awkwardly wandering around. “Kels? Will you take Bianca to the playroom downstairs?”
“Sure.” He took my little girls hand and off they went. James was stood in the doorway, leaning against it. He looked hot like that but I wasn't going to allow that to distract me right now. I was mad at him, but I don't think he realised just how upset I was. “Why did you do it?”
“Do what?” Oh how typical, act all innocent. I pulled out my phone and played the voicemail. His eyes widened. “That was a total mistake.” I snorted a little. A mistake? That's what everyone says who is caught. Believe me, I'm an expert.
“A mistake? I'm sat here everyday, feeling lost. I'm walking around with your baby growing inside me and you say it's a mistake?” My voice raised. I took a few deep breaths to try and calm me down.
“I was seriously mess---”
“You're sleeping down here. Stay away from me.” I said, my voice was now surprisingly calm. I walked past him and went downstairs. Bianca was sat on the bean bags, head on Kellin's lap while he read her a story. I told him he would have to share my room with me now I had kicked James out of it. He gave me a small smile before turning his attention back to the story. I sat down there with them, before deciding to tidy up a bit. I really needed to stop tidying things that didn't need to be done. My thoughts trailed back to the fact that I now had to share a room with my ex who was back to his old ways. But I knew what I was doing. I was playing a game now, a dangerous game but it was a game I was going to win no matter what.
I bent down, feeling a sharp twinge in my stomach. I stood up straight again. That didn't feel good. I didn't like the way that felt. I carried on making myself busy, trying to take my mind off it. “Toilet break...” I muttered.
I wandered back upstairs, through the living area where James was now sat watching something about nature on the television. I went up another flight of stairs, I just got a short distance away from the bathroom when another sharp twinge hit me. My hand banged against the wall as I put a hand over my small bump. It calmed down a bit so I made my way to the bathroom.
I noticed it as soon as I sat down. It's normal to have blood right? Yeah. It must be. I've read about it. I finished up, changed my panties, washed my hands and went back out with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew what this meant. But I wouldn't tell anyone, I'd deal with it myself.
I had to get through this myself.
10/16/13