“Jaime, what the fuck, man!” about five minutes had passed, and now Vic was shaking my shoulders. “What happened back there?”


I couldn’t look at him. I kept my face buried into my knees. I was afraid to look at Vic. I was afraid of what my mind would make him look like.


“Jaime!” Vic yelled, sounding scared. Like he knew anything about fear.


I debated if I should just go ahead and tell Vic what happened, forgetting momentarily that he and… Spencer… had no idea what I “saw”. I decided against it, though. For some reason, I couldn’t form the words.


I shook my head multiple times. “I couldn’t do it, Vic, I just couldn’t,” I moaned into my hands.


“Jaime, she is doing so good! Didn’t you see how healthy she looked?”


I became rigid. Yes, I saw how healthy and alive she looked. But I also could not get her nightmarish appearance out of my head. He evil smirk was enough to drive me insane (if I wasn’t insane already).


“Jaime, what is going on?” Vic’s voice was high-pitched in concern and stress. I shook my head again. He wouldn’t understand. He wouldn’t believe me.


The nightmares were just so terrible. They used to be random horrors, but now they included people I actually cared about; seeing my best friends die in my nightmares every night killed me.


“You aren’t taking your medication, Jaime,” Vic said lowly, realization evident in his voice.


“Hm?” I finally looked up at him. Very carefully I forced my eyes open. He looked unhurt. Normal.


“You said the nightmares are bad. You aren’t taking your medication, are you?” He clarified. I shook my head.


“I’m not myself on them,” I whispered. It was true. I was even more of a zombie on them. I felt fake. I didn’t like being controlled and united to medication.


“You’re not yourself when you’re off them, either,” Vic said severely. “Come on,” he motioned for me to stand up. I did warily. Then, his eyebrows furrowed. “Is that yours?” he unintentionally scrunched his nose, gesturing to the vomit on the curb.


I shook my head. “No,” I pretended to act disgusted.


“Oh, okay,” he looked convinced. “Let’s go, then,” Vic said, eying me curiously as we climbed into the van.


“We leave tomorrow,” Vic turned to me, his eyebrows furrowed.


“I am aware,” I said sassily.


“Do you… don’t you want… like, closure, or something? I don’t think it will help your situation to leave like this,” he said.


I slumped back in the seat, debating it. Maybe if I just remained calm, everything would be okay. I was just anxious and tired, and those feelings had gotten the best of me, right?


“They probably won’t let me back in,” I shrugged my shoulders.


“They might,” Vic raised his eyebrows.


“I probably caused some big commotion, it’s not a good idea for me to go back in there,” I said.


“Spencer was surprised, but that was all. Jaime, you have no idea how good she is doing!” Vic said, his face stretching into an enormous grin.


Well, that was nice. She was getting better while I was getting worse, I thought bitterly to myself.


“Don’t say that,” Vic frowned at me. I sighed, not realizing that I was talking out loud. I did that a lot.


“Well, what do you guys want from me?” I finally lost it, slamming my hands into the leather around me. “She… she is a killer!” I said, having issues forming the words. “She kills people! And here you are,” I nodded at him accusingly, “All buddy-buddy with her! What the fuck is going on, Vic?”


“Maybe if you were there for her, you would understand!” Vic yelled angrily. “I’m sick of dealing with your problems, Jaime!”


“I never asked you to, Vic!” I spat.


“You’re so miserable,” Vic sighed, starting the van.


“Wait,” I said harshly.


“What?”


Without answering, I hastily opened the van door, slamming it shut.


“What are you doing?” Vic called after me. I just waved him off, disregarding him with my hand.


I blindly entered the building, approaching the woman at the front desk.


“Am I allowed to see Spencer Martin?” I asked, trying to compose myself so they would let me see her.


“You have ten minutes left,” the woman said. She looked confused and her eyes were wide. I internally laughed at the institution and their lack of security. You would think they would be a little more serious about crazy-looking men barging in and out of a mental institution, but whatever.


I walked quickly to Spencer’s room. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to bang on the door or knock respectively.


It turned out that I didn’t have to do either one.


She opened the door slowly, staring at me.


“Hi,” she said quietly. I studied her features carefully, ignoring the wicked versions of her flashing in my head. I reached out and lightly touched her face without thinking. I needed to know she was real. Her skin was soft, and I still couldn’t believe how unbelievably healthy she truly looked. Even when I first met her she never looked like this.


“Hi,” I was finally able to find words. Awkwardly, but words nonetheless. She gave me a half-smile.


“I only have ten minutes,” I said.


She smirked, but it wasn’t her spine-chilling smirk. It was her sexy smirk. “You seem like the kind of guy who can accomplish a lot in ten minutes,” she said lowly. That was it. That was all I needed to hear. In one swift motion, I closed the distance between us and crashed my lips to hers.


Melodramatic, but it turns me on…


I kissed her passionately, our tongues colliding. She yanked on the back of my t-shirt while I gripped her waist tightly. I sighed into our kiss, though. We both wanted more, but now was not the time, nor the place. I sat down on her bed, and she followed, curling up against me.


It made no sense. But I needed it. It was clear, in this moment, that I was a little crazy myself. Probably more crazy than she ever made herself out to be. But none of that really mattered right now, did it? Because I had the girl I loved back in my arms, for at least a short period of time, anyway. Despite everything, I loved her; she was the first person to make all of my problems disappear, and she was the last person that ever could.


“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, hugging me tightly.


It was like old times again, the way she excessively apologized. “No, I’m sorry,” I corrected her. “I’m sorry I never came back…” I shook my head.


“It’s my fault you didn’t. I pushed you out. I thought that it would be better for you. I thought that it would be better for the other guys, too. I thought that it would be safer, but I know now that…” her voice trailed off as she stared at me with concern in her eyes. “You needed me more than I thought,” she said quietly. “I thought you’d be better off with me gone, but this has only created more problems in your lives,” she added. I couldn’t argue with her, because all of it was true. And we each shared blame for the situation we were in.


“Be nice to Vic,” she said quietly.


“I am nice to Vic,” I said.


“No, he’s having a hard time, too, Jaime,” she said seriously. I nodded. I knew what she meant.


She sighed. “You should probably go now,” she said seriously.


“Why?” I asked, slightly offended that she wanted me to leave. For the moment, my mind didn’t hurt. For the moment, everything was okay. For the moment.


“Our ten minutes is almost up,” she said sadly, tapping her wrist as if she had a watch on it.


“I feel bad leaving, now,” I said quietly. What have I done? We were both emotionally unstable, and now we were going to separate until December. “We leave for tour tomorrow,” I said.


“I’ll be okay. It’s more time for me to get better, right?” she smiled encouragingly. She seemed so strong. Seemed. But I guess I had no choice but to believe her.


I couldn’t describe what I was feeling right now. Confusion, definitely. We all knew very well that she was a murderer… but she wasn’t malicious. Only in my nightmares was she actually cold blooded. In reality, she was just… I don’t know. I guess the heart wants what the heart wants, and you couldn’t do anything about it.


“I still love you,” I said silently.


“I still love you, too,” she said, brushing my arms lightly with her fingertips. “It’s not right, but it is,” she said, furrowing her eyebrows.


I nodded, understanding completely. I kissed the top of her head and stood up.


“Vic’s really mad at me right now,” I sighed. “I guess I should apologize to him. I’ve been…” I was going to explain how bad I have been, and how hard Vic has been trying, but I didn’t want to worry her. I shook my head, starting over. “He’s been very helpful, and I don’t appreciate him as much as I should,” I said quietly. She pursed her lips.


“I know,” she said. I tilted my head to the side. “He has been visiting me a lot lately,” she admitted, looking down on the ground.Part of me wanted to be angry at him for going behind my back, but the other part of me wanted to give him a massive hug for taking care of her when I couldn’t.


“That’s how he knew that I would be okay seeing you,” I mumbled, connecting the pieces. She gave me a small smile and nodded.


“He’s been great, really. He helped me a lot, and it was all for you,” she said. I wrapped my arms around her again, definitely now grateful for Vic and for her trying.


I thought she pushed me out of her life forever. I thought I would be dead forever. But now I realized that I was only in a deep sleep.


And I was just waking up.


~~

I left Spencer’s room, kind of smiling like an idiot. I left her on good terms, and I promised I would be back the day our tour was over. And she promised that she would be even better by then. We decided not to discuss the fact that her becoming healthy also made her a criminal. It didn’t really seem important right now.


I awkwardly waved bye to the woman who worked at the front desk, and then I headed back to the van in the parking lot.


“Vic, I’m sorry about that,” I said when I approached the van.


“It’s not okay, Jaime, it’s not okay,” a voice said. I gulped, looking around for the source of the voice.


“…Vic?” I asked.


“Vic is in a lot of trouble with me, Jaime,” a nasty voice snarled. I shivered.


“Who are you?” I hissed between clenched teeth. For some reason, I didn’t feel weak.



“Your worst fucking nightmare,” the voice exploded, and then the source came into view. I stared at him for a while… tall and lean, clothes as dark as the night, a crooked smile and teeth like daggers, hideous eyes, and a tattoo of fire blazing up his neck…


The short burst of strength quickly faded within me, and I felt weak again. Surely this was just my imagination. This man didn’t actually exist.


“I hate to disappoint you, Jaime, but this is real life,” he frowned in mock-apology, and then he flicked open a lighter. “Your friend was out of line, trying to help Spencer. Nobody can help her, and those who try, burn,” he screeched, tossing the lighter into the van.


It burst into flames immediately. Drew Sanders, or, so I thought, smirked evilly at me. Oh, God, Vic must be in that van…


“No!” I jumped forward, not really sure what I could do, but just in instinct.


Hands wrapped around my neck, and I choked. “Nobody can save her. Nobody will save her. If you try, well…” he smiled at me, nodding to the van that was completely covered in fire.


I clenched my eyes shut, hoping that when I opened them again that everything would be back to normal, that this was just a horrible nightmare, a cruel joke my mind was playing on me.


But when I opened them again, the van continued to burn, and I continued to choke. The fire was blazing, and my eyes stung from not only the intensity of the heat, but from my own tears.

Notes

I'm sorry, but this had to happen.
You'll see why, soon.

It's not my best update, but opened a lot of doors for me plot-wise. You'll see why, soon, like I said :)

And, sorry that this is mostly dialogue :/ it makes it go by too fast so it seems short.

And so i just noticed a bunch of people saying that they hate seeing Vic hurt... OOPS xD


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