I woke up naked and tied to a chair. My neck was stiff from how long I had been sitting there. What time is it? I thought groggily. Then I remembered what happened. I felt my chest start to tighten and my breathing became erratic. I was freaking out when I felt cool breath on my neck.

"Are you ready for this?" The voice whispered, someone sitting on my lap.

I whimpered. I tried to speak but my mouth was too dry, like it was filled with cotton.

A hand started petting my hair, "Does this feel good?"

I whimpered.

"I said does this feel good, bitch?!" The voice growled.

"Y-yes," I said quietly. Whoever it was had a very deep chuckle, so I'm guessing it's a guy.

"I have your phone. You know, that Carlile kid seems awful worried," he chuckled. I had heard that voice before, but not enough to know whose it was. It's not British, so it can't be Oli. It's too deep to be Austin or Vic. Is it Mike? I gulped. Gavin?

"You have no idea who I am, do you?" The voice chuckled.

"N-no," I whimpered.

"Good. This isn't a horror movie, sweetheart. This is real life. I'm not going to tell you who I am, either. I'm going to have some fun, then I'm going to leave. Your friends will find you but you'll never know who I am. You'll spend the rest of your life wondering, without an answer," he chuckled. I felt his hand move downwards, tracing circles around my bell button.

"Are you a virgin?" He asked.

"N-no," I said fearfully.

"Good," he chuckled, "You know what you're doing then." His hands were gone all of a sudden, my skin cool where they had been. My hair was being pulled to where I was on my knees. Please no!

"I've heard what a slut you are. You've probably done this enough that your gag reflex is gone, right?" He asked, shoving his... into my mouth.

Calm down, Carter. It's only a-a uh... hot dog. No, it's a carrot! It's a carrot! Bite down and he'll take it out!

My chest started to constrict and I felt waves of panic start to rush over me, drowning me. I bit down and the... the thing was removed. My jaw hurt from being forced open and I heard him yell in pain.

I felt him tense as I heard voices getting closer. His footsteps faded as he ran from me. The voices were so close that I wished I could scream out, but I couldn't. Tears were streaming down my face and my breathing was ragged.

A door opened somewhere and the light froma flashlight flooded the room.

"CARTER!" Austin cried, running over to me and pulling me to his chest. "Thank God!"

I felt the ropes loosened from my wrists and I sobbed into his shirt. He helped me get redressed. Then, he picked me up and carried me outside where the sun was setting.

"Guys, I found her!" Austin yelled to everyone, but I had my face buried in his chest.

I heard a chorus of relieved sighs and a few 'Thank God's. Austin set me down as I felt Ruby, Logan, and Kathy's arms wrap around me. But, I was numb. Disgusted with myself for letting him do that to me.

"Guys, I'm going to take her to Dance Gavin Dance's bus, she really needs Gavin right now," Logan said softly.

"Whatever you need, I'll do it," Kathy said releasing me from her grip.

"I'm just glad you're okay," Ruby laughed, trying to cover up her hoarse voice. Everyone's eyes were glistening with tears. Except for me.

I blindly followed Logan to the DGD bus, where Gavin pulled me into his arms.

"Take good care of her," I heard her say before she left.

Gavin led me to the back lounge, sat me on the pull out bed, and changed me into my pajamas for me. I didn't even care anymore. He put on Rocky Horror and I snuggled into his chest, wanting to forget about the outside world. Wanting to forget about what had happened.

You deserve it, slut! My mind yelled. I did. I didn't have the strength to fight my own thoughts.

I slept in Gavin's arms that night, waking every few hours screaming and crying. But he held me and whispered softly into my ear that things would be okay. For a little while, I would believe it and fall back asleep. My body was drained. I felt nothing but fear and sadness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I woke up the next morning to find clean clothes laid out on my bed. I slipped into them, but couldn't help but feel vulnerable. (http://www.polyvore.com/carter_chpt/set?id=87010634) I let my hair stay as it was, and wiped off the remaining makeup from the other day. I didn't put it back on, though. I just didn't have the energy for it.

I walked into the front lounge and sat down next to Gavin. He made me feel okay. Austin did, too. But, I wished I had Jaime. Jaime doesn't want a slut like you.

I sighed and snuggled into Gavin, too disgusted to eat.

"I know it's hard, sweetie, but the sooner you can get back into the swing of thing, the easier it'll be for you," Gavin said gently.

I nodded numbly, "I want to go watch Austin."

"Okay, babe. We'll go watch Austin," he took my hand and led me off the bus. We walked in silence to sidestage.

They played The Flood for their last song and I was pure anger and hatred in Austin's eyes. I felt something for the first time that day, hatred. Hatred for the asshole that made me feel this way. I will find you.

Austin came offstage and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him and I felt nothing.

"Austin, I need to go see Vic," I whispered.

"Of course," his eyes were soft. Gavin took my hand giving him a small nod, and led me back to the PTV bus.

I knocked once before the door swung open and Vic pulled me into his arms. His eyes were brimming with tears. He pulled me into him and led me onto the bus. Soon Tony and Mike were hugging me and crying, too. I had missed them. But, Jaime simply sat in the doorway staring at me with tears in his eyes.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" Vic smiled. It didn't quite reach his eyes, but I knew he was happy I was okay.

"If I ever catch that asshole, his ass is grass," Mike growled.

I giggled. "I know how much you love your grass, Mike." Mike chuckled, along with Vic and Tony.

I saw relieved look in everyone's eyes. They were glad that I was the same. And I guess I kind of was. At least with these guys. My walls crumbled and emotions flooded back into me when I saw how puffy and red all of their eyes were. I cried. We sat there just holding each other and crying silently. I felt Jaime join in and I cried more. I was happy, though. I was happy they were there for me, crying with me.

"Guys, go get ready," I laughed They reluctantly got up and went to get ready for the show. I sat there content but also seething with anger and flooded with sadness.

"I-I'm really glad you're okay," Jaime half-smiled from the doorway.

"I just have great friends," I smiled. Jaime started to walk away, but decided against it and came to sit with me. He took my hand in his and rubbed his thumb lightly over it.

"Look, Carter," he sighed. "What I did the other night was a really douche move. I should've respected that you had a lot going on and I really regret not fighting for you. If it helps any, I didn't actually do anything with that slut. The minute you walked out that door I realized just what I had done and I told her to leave. I didn't have the balls to go after you and I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have let you go and I shouldn't have moved that quickly with you. I'm sorry and I just- can we start over?" He looked at me with sad, pleading eyes.

I felt tears burning the back of my eyes, but I chose to be happy. "Hi, I'm Carter."

"Hi, I'm Jaime," we grinned at each other with tears in our eyes. He pulled me into his arms and we stayed like that.

"Ehem," Mike coughed. "While I appreciate that you would like to bone each other," he winked, "We have a show to put on.

"Let's go," I smiled, getting up. I was truly happy with Jaime. I decided to put all my negative feelings away for later. Jaime turned around and bent down, signaling for me to get on his back. I hopped on we all lughed and joked the whole way to the stage. I felt less sad. Where would I be without these guys?

Notes

Song Credit: The Boy Who Could Fly - Pierce the Veil
#sorry not sorry
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