Lyla's P.O.V:


The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. The air around us was heavy as we sat on the floor, quite a bit of distance between us. No one had spoke in what seemed like years. Neither of us knew what to say, at least I know I didn't. My gaze shifted between the wall, the floor, the ceiling, my sweatshirt, and occasionally Vic. I could feel him staring at me, his gaze burning through me.


"Um....." I muttered accidently, not meaning to break the silence. Vic laughed a little and I looked up at him, smirking a little as I did. I decided to speak; us sitting in silence wouldn't solve anything. "I'm sorry for what I said to you earlier. I shouldn't have said any of those things," I said quietly, messing with the sleeve on my sweatshirt. I was burning up, it was the middle of summer in Texas for crying out loud, but I was too ashamed of what I had done earlier to take it off.


"You don't have to apologize," he stated simply.


"Yeah, Vic, I do. That wasn't fair to you for me to blame you for this," I said motioning to my wrist.


"Why did you do it, Lyla?" He asked, his voice full of concern. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I don't know. I was mad at myself. And I was upset. I felt like I didn't have any control over it; it just happened." I said quietly, listening to how stupid that really sounded.


"Why were you mad at yourself?" He asked, his voice still quiet. I wanted to snap at him again, yell at him for prying so much, but I knew I couldn't.


"Because of last night......" I looked at the floor, playing with the carpet. "To be completely honest I was mad at myself for thinking last night actually meant anything. I mean we were both drunk off our asses."


"It meant something to me," He said after a few minutes of silence. His answer surprised me and my head shot up to look at him. "Lyla, everything I said to you last night I meant. I may have been drunk, but being with you last night......it wasn't the alcohol. In fact I never felt more sober in my entire life." He paused for a while, seemingly contemplating what to say next. "I meant it when I said I was still in love with you, Lyla."


I looked at him, I mean really looked at him, looked right in his eyes and held his gaze. "I'm just so confused, Vic. I have all of these mixed emotions inside of me right now. Part of me hates you," I said, watching his demeanor change as I hurt him with my words. I didn't want to hurt him, but I was trying to be honest. "But another part of me, Vic, a much bigger part, has always loved you. All of these years it has still always been you for some reason."
We were silent for a while after that, just staring at each other, neither of us sure of where to go next.


"You were my first love, Vic. And I had always hoped you would be my last. But that day, that phone call, changed my entire life, turned it upside down. I felt lost, I felt worthless and unwanted. I ran away, tried to start a new life, but you were all I could ever think about. I would dream about you when I was asleep, the rare moments I actually slept. I would think about you during the day. There were certain things that would remind me of you; songs on the radio, tv shows, everything." I paused, judging his reaction now that the floodgates had opened and I was pouring everything out.


"Any time I tried to move on and date someone else I always compared them to you. They never measured up in my eyes because they weren't you. You stole my heart all those years ago, when I was just a lonely 16 year old girl, and I never got it back. Truth is I never wanted it back," I smiled a little at him before continuing. "I tried to make myself hate you, and then I hated myself when I couldn't. It got to a point when I felt like I was all alone.....and that's when I started cutting," He tensed up as I mentioned the self harm, his face looking sad. "It was the only thing that made me forget how screwed up my life was, but in turn it made my life even more screwed up. I was spiraling downward, unable to do anything about it. That's when I met Austin......and he saved me."


"Lyla......I had no idea," He interjected before I stopped him. I needed to finish letting all this out before I changed my mind.


"I told him everything about you, except for who you were. I told him everything about how screwy I was and he didn't leave. He still loved me, he was still my best friend. I've been a lot better since I met him, but my feelings for you were always still in there. When I bumped into Mike that first day.....I bolted because I was scared to face either of you again. I didn't want to see you or Mike because I was mad.....I was afraid you would see how broken I am...." I trailed off as a tear threatened its escape.


I watched as Vic pushed himself off the floor and walked over to me, taking a seat next to me and grabbing my hand in his, my heat beginning to beat rapidly because of his touch.


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Vic's P.O.V:


I took her hand in mine as I gazed into her beautiful green eyes. I was trying to take in all that she was throwing at me, and it wasn't easy. My heart was breaking as I listened to how much I had hurt her. All of this was my fault. She stopped talking, and I took it as an opportunity to speak.


"Lyla. What I did to you was unfair, it wasn't right. At the time I thought I was doing what was best for you, giving you the space and freedom that I thought you needed," I said to her as she looked at me.


"Vic, I didn't want my freedom. That wasn't your decision to make! I was a grown woman, I could make my own decisions. And I decided a long time ago that you were the only thing that mattered, the only thing I knew for sure that I wanted," she said. This time she wasn't yelling, though. She was speaking truthfully from her heart.


"I know," I responded. "I never stopped loving you though. After I ended things I knew I shouldn't have, and I wasn't myself after that. I tried to get over you, pushing myself into relationships to try to ease the pain, but they weren't you. I missed everything about you: your laugh, your smile, your eyes, your kisses, your voice, your horrible cooking," I paused, both of us chuckling a little at that last comment. "Throughout the years I always hoped that you had followed your dreams, that you were doing what you loved. I hoped that you had moved on and found someone who was worthy of you because I knew I wasn't," I trailed off. I felt her hand move as she interlaced her fingers with mine and I raised my head to look her in the eyes.


"I wished that for you too, Vic," she said finally, smiling a little. We both sat in silence for a long time, our hands still clinging tightly to one another, not daring to let go.


"So what do we do now?" I asked quietly after what seemed like hours, not sure if I really wanted to know the answer. I was afraid of losing her again. She took a deep breathe as if she didn't know what to say.


"We start over?" she said, almost as if it was a question. "I mean we don't even know each other anymore, Vic. 7 years is a long time," she mumbled.


"Then we better start now. Good thing we have all day," I replied smiling at her. She looked up and smiled at me, I mean really smiled at me. She looked just like the girl I fell in love with 10 years ago.


"I'd like that a lot," she said. She moved, sitting up on her knees, looking me in the eyes. She put her small, soft hand on my cheek and leaned in and kissed me. It was a soft kiss, so full of passion and love that I thought I might die right then and there. The kiss was quick, and she pulled away resting her forehead on mine as she smiled down at me. I rested my hands on her upper back, gazing back up at her.


"So what would you like to know, Victor?" she asked, amusingly.


"Everything," I responded.