Two weeks. Two entire weeks, and there had been no sign of Drew Sanders. He was hardly on my mind anymore. I didn’t worry about him. I didn’t need to worry about him. As time went on, I did continue to wonder where he was, or if he was going to show up again, but I tried my hardest to push these thoughts out of my head.

I felt like I was overstaying my welcome at Jaime’s house, despite his objections. I needed to find a new place of my own.

“It’s really no big deal,” Jaime told me.

“Jaime, I can’t stay here forever!” I reminded him.

He shrugged his shoulders. “It gets lonely in this house,” he said poking me in the side. I rolled my eyes playfully. I still had no idea what to do about my living arrangements, but I decided to just let the topic be for a little bit.

“Want to go to the beach?” he asked me. It was late in the afternoon, and he didn’t have band practice and I didn’t have work.

“Sure!” I said. My arms were healing nicely, and they didn’t really hurt anymore. I still had to wear bandages around them, though, just in case.


“I love listening to the waves,” I said quietly as we sat on a towel in the sand. Everything was quiet; the beach was rather empty, tonight. The only sounds I heard were the crashing of the waves and the soft, calming breathing of Jaime.

I wrapped my arms around my legs, tucking my knees into my chest. The sun was slowly going down, and darkness was beginning to creep in.

“How are you doing, Spence?” Jaime asked. Normally, Jaime was outgoing, fun, and hilarious, but, now, his voice was laced with seriousness and genuine concern.

I didn’t know how to answer his question.

In this exact moment? I was okay. I was happy, sitting here on the beach with Jaime, the smell of salt water and warmth filtering through my veins.

In general? I was scared. I tried not to think about Drew Sanders, but as time progressed his image grew bigger and bigger in my head. I was scared because of his absence. What did his sudden disappearance mean? Did it mean that he was gone for good, or was he planning something serious thanks to my blatant disregard of his warnings and threats? There was no way of knowing. And I continued to put Jaime in danger despite the fact that, at any moment, Drew Sanders could return. There was only hidden anxiety and buried regret.

“I’m okay,” I said, giving him a smile. Damn it, why couldn’t I just be honest with him? Why couldn’t I tell him—or anyone—that I was being targeting, stalked, and attacked by a ruthless pyromaniac? Nobody would believe me, I guess. Drew Sanders had a certain knack for slithering away from anyone who could possibly identify him. Maybe that’s why he was not present—I had threatened to call the cops on him if I saw him again, and then I saw him. So maybe he was afraid.

Yeah, I’ll keep telling myself that.

“Spencer,” Jaime said gravely, yet gently. Jaime had a certain knack for reading through my lies.

“What do you want me to say, Jaime?” I asked quietly.

“I want you to talk to me. Something’s going on in that little head of yours, and you shouldn’t be afraid to tell me,” he said, patting my head.

Something pounded from inside me. Something from inside of me was screaming to get out.

“When I was five my parents died in a fire,” I began.

“Spe—” Jaime started, but I didn’t let him finish.

“Apparently it was an accident. Nobody would tell me exactly what happened. To this day I still don’t know.
All I know is that my mom, my dad, and my brother are dead, and I was the only one who survived.

“I was sent to a foster home shortly thereafter. I was confused and sad. I didn’t really understand what was going on. I didn’t even understand that the foster-family wasn’t really my real family, that they weren’t blood relatives of mine. I know now that they were just an unlucky group of people who took me in because of my circumstances, but, back then, well, I don’t even know what I was thinking back then. Within a few days of the fire that killed my family, I was with this new family, and I immediately grew attached to them. After all, they saved me from my situation, so I naturally fell in love with them, as if they were my own.

"I guess you could say that they killed the demons inside of me. Yes, demons. I was a five-year -old child, and I had goddamned demons. Aside from being sad and scared, I was angry. I didn't understand why my family would just leave me like that. So, I guess when I was moved to a foster family, those angry feelings inside of me dissipated. They saved me.

"We got really close. Two years into my time there, the adoption process was ending. They were going to be my real, legal guardians.

"They had a daughter a year older than me. Despite the slight age difference, we were best friends. And then she was going to be my sister, and everything was going to be okay," I explained. I thought to myself for a moment. How silly it was of me to think that everything was going to be okay! Drew Sanders visited me every night since my real family died in that fire, yet I still thought everything was going to be okay. I should have known better than to think that. "I guess fate didn't want me to be happy," I said, wishing I could have said that Drew Sanders didn't want me to be happy.

"One night, I woke up to smoke. An odd, eerie distinction between darkness and light. The blazing fire illuminated the area around it, mixing into the pitch-black night. I could hardly breathe. I couldn't find my new family. I imagined that this was how the fire of my real family was like.

"Before I knew it, they were dead. I couldn't do anything to save them," I shook my head to myself. "Fuck, I was only seven years old!" My voice broke. I wanted very much to tell him about Drew Sanders, and how he did this, but I couldn’t form those words.

"I never got close to a single person after that. I guess I developed some sort of complex after these two events—the death of my biological family, and the death of my foster family. Everything I touched, everyone I got close to, burned. I just... I don't know,” I shook my head to myself again.

"For ten years after my foster family died, I was moved from foster home to foster home. And I was a brat. Nobody wanted me because I was a nightmare to them. I wasn't nice and I gave nobody a chance. I didn't want to deal with people or relationships, and I just became lonely. But I wanted to be alone. I knew no other way. I knew nothing other than pain and loneliness.

"I'm not calling for sympathy here, Jaime," I added severely. "But I felt like I had to get that out. I felt like you, for some reason, deserve to know exactly why I am the way I am, exactly why I was so rejecting of you in the beginning," I explained.

Jaime remained quiet after I told him my story, but he carefully put an arm around me. I tried to keep back the tears that burned in my eyes. There was nothing much to me except that I was a sad, damaged, ruined little girl.

“I’ve never trusted a single person in my life since my first foster-family died. And here I am, trusting you with my story,” I said quietly. Jaime tightened his grip on me.

“You can trust me, Spence,” he said softly. And I believed him. I didn’t know what it was or why. All I knew was that I felt safe and happy with him. Drew Sanders was nowhere to be found when I was with Jaime, and that meant a lot. I wish I knew why, I wish I knew what it was about Jaime that made me feel better…

I thought about when I first met Jaime; my reluctance to go out with him, my rudeness as a result of that hesitation, and, even, my annoyance of him. It was amazing how much your thoughts and feelings about a person could change in such a short period of time.

Notes

Hey guys! Sorry it's been a few days since i've updated (it feels like it's been forever)
I've been really busy and distracted lately
but i hope you like the update! I felt like this chapter was necessary and it gives more insight about her past, even though it's kind of short

ALSO i hope i can get another update before i leave, BUT like i said on my other story "THe Curse", i am going away for 2 weeks and won't have the ability to update!! im sorry :'(