Love Bites

“That’s the fourth time you’ve stirred up your coffee without putting anything in it.”

I glanced up from the bitter liquid to look at Andy. His chin was on the heel of his hand, wicked azure eyes digging holes into me while he picked at a bagel. “I’m sorry. I’m just…kind of distracted”, I mumbled.

He tilted his head to the side. “Oh? Why’s that?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s something”, Andy protested gently. “Thorne, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong, okay?”

The slayer folded his arms. “I swear to whatever higher power there is, I will find out. Why don’t you just tell me?”

“Oliver bit me, okay?” I demanded. “We had a tiff and it just happened.”

“Thorne, do you have any idea how bad that is?!” Andy gasped. “Do you know what kind of doors you’ve opened up for him?! He’s got your taste and he’s going to crave it and-“

“He left me alone well enough before he brought me here.”

“He brought you here?! Thorne-“

“Looks like the leash isn’t as tight as you think”, I muttered. “Just don’t worry about it, okay? If it happens again, I’ll tell you or something.”

Andy frowned, his white lips nearly pouting. “Thorne, I really don’t like this”, he murmured.

“And you think I do?!” I gasped. “I didn’t sign up for this! I went out to dig up a fucking body and wound up being in cahoots with you and Oliver. I don’t want this!”

He lowered his eyes. “Thorne, let me make you an offer”, Andy sighed. “Oliver will be throwing himself a birthday party here soon. Lots of vampires show up and lots of them are pretty wishy-washy. They’ll have no problem tearing him limb from limb. If you’ll let me and some of my friends in to destroy Oliver, then everything will be done. Oliver will be dead, you won’t knowingly deal with anymore vampires, and I’ll let you keep his house. I’ll keep you safe from the others and will personally make sure to stay out of your way, like a bodyguard standing in the shadows.”

“What?” I questioned.

“C’mon!” Andy groaned. “You want out of this and I want Oliver dead. That’s how we can do this.”

“Oliver’s another…living thing. I can’t just give you the okay to kill him”, I gasped. “I just don’t want to be part of this-“

“Seriously, how many times do I have to bring up the whole Oliver’s-a-fucking-blood-sucking-monster thing?”

“Biersack, this isn’t a decision for me to make!” Andy opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, I stood up and threw some bills onto the table. “I’m leaving”, I informed. “Don’t follow me. I’ll see you around.”

“Thorne-“

“I’m serious”, I snapped. Andy remained in his spot as I marched out of the café. I made the walk down to St. Louis Cathedral in Jackson Square. Normally there were people doing palm readings and stuff but in the park was Kellin, sipping on a pina colada from one of the bars nearby.

“I love the dead before they’re cold” giggled Kellin as I approached him. “They’re bluing flesh for me to hold. Cadaver eyes upon me see...nothing.”

“You know, that’s not every grave digger’s favourite song”, I said sitting on the bench next to him. He smirked at me from behind his sunglasses.

“But it’s a song that perfectly describes you”, he grinned. “What’s up, kiddo?”

I frowned. “This whole…vampire thing”, I muttered. “This thing with Oliver and Andy. It’s stupid.”

“That’s why you don’t take sides”, he said.

“I’m already tired of vampires.”

“Oh, Thorne, I know you’re not tired of me”, he beamed, laying his head on my shoulder.

I laughed. “Nah, Kells, you’re my mad scientist”, I sighed. “It’s just…you know, I thought we were weird anyway. Who digs up graves to pay for their mom’s chemo and funeral stuff? And then, Oliver just shows up.”

“And that’s where stuff gets muddled”, Kellin added.

“It is. Oliver’s telling me shit about Andy and Andy’s telling me shit about Oliver and then you’re telling me not to get mixed up with either of them.”

“Because you shouldn’t.”

“And I’m just tired of it”, I groaned. “This is stupid. And today, Oliver bit me and when I tell Andy, he wants to kill him?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone”, Kellin yelped. “Oliver bit you?”

“Well, yeah”, I said. “Is that bad? Oh God! I didn’t even bother to consider that I’d-“

“Turn? Yeah, and now it’s going to fucking happen!” I stared, horrified into Kellin’s cold eyes before he started giggling. “Gotcha!” he grinned. “You only turn by drinking the blood of another vampire. Still though, you shouldn’t’ve gotten bit.”

“Why? Is that bad?” I questioned. I could feel my heart starting to race.

Kellin frowned as his face contorted, obviously trying to think of the best way to explain it. “Okay, um…everyone tastes a little different. There are sweet bloods, bitter bloods, thick bloods, thin bloods, you know like wine. And depending on your taste and what Oliver likes, he could potentially get hooked on you and basically keep you around strictly for feeding purposes. And that could be incredibly harmful to your health. Side effects of continued bloodletting include things like fainting, infections getting spread through your system quicker, trouble with your blood coagulating. Hell, if Oliver gets carried away, you could even die.”

“But that’s if he likes the flavor, right?” I questioned. “So we should find out whether or not he does and if not, then I’m safe?”

“Assumably”, Kellin nodded. “Do you know if Andy’s decided to off him yet?”

“No.”

Kellin thought for a moment. “Alright. Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to take you to Oliver and help you figure out the taste thing. If you’re safe, stay there or leave or whatever you’re comfortable with but leave Andy to me. If Oliver isn’t hooked on your blood, I’ll convince Andy it was a misunderstanding.”

“And if he does like it?” I asked.

“You come home with me and we don’t associate with those two psychos again”, Kellin said firmly. “You’ve been a really good friend for these past few years and I’m not letting you become some causality in their twisted game of chess.”

I smiled at Kellin. “You’re the best, Kells”, I said.

He shrugged. “No, I’m just not warped like they are”, he laughed.

Notes