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The Diary (Sequal To The Pact)

Never Giving Up

Vic’s POV
Well, tonight had been…different. I don’t think anyone of us would have expected things to go like this. How could we have known that there would be yelling? That it would feel like we had turned back time and we were all twenty again?
I don’t know what came over me when I got so mad at Luna for leaving and for not telling me why. It was just, hearing that song again…I had really thought for all those years that she hadn’t received it and finding out that it wasn’t case…I don’t know it was just weird.
I am happy that I know the reason why she left though. Back when she left, I was a mess. I had blamed myself for all of this, because I just couldn’t think of another reason. It had tortured me for at least the next two years. And even after I had moved on, it had still kind of bugged me. It wasn’t like I thought about it the entire time, but sometimes I bumped up into an old picture or I thought of an old memory. And then I’d just be sad about how things had ended. So finally knowing the answer was a big relieve to me.
It wasn’t the answer I expected at all, though. Okay, I didn’t really know what to expect, but definitely not this. To be honest, I didn’t even think I’d ever know.
But she had left us, because she cared for us. Because she felt like she kept us from our goals. It did sound like something Luna would do. I should’ve seen it back then. Things would’ve been completely different then…
Al though no, I think this was exactly how things were supposed to go. I was happy now. I had an amazing career and friends. A beautiful girlfriend. I wouldn’t have all this if she wouldn’t have left.
But things did seem different now I knew she didn’t really betray me. It made me wonder what would have happened if I had found out back then. What my present would’ve looked like then…Yeah, I was happy with Danielle, but I was crazy about Luna back then. Could I still have been if we still would’ve been together?
Ah well, thinking about these things only brought disappointment. I should probably stop doing that. Things were how they were and they were just fine like this.
I opened the front door of my house and closed it softly. I didn’t want to wake Danielle. I knew she had a big photoshoot tomorrow and she probably went to bed early this evening.
I kicked of my shoes and tiptoed through the hall towards the marble stairs. Luckily I didn’t have wooden stairs, those things creaked like hell.
When I walked into the bedroom I saw that Danielle was reading a book in bed. She looked up from it and smiled at me. “Hey, how was it?” she asked and she lowered her book a bit.
I started to undress and picked up the shirt I usually slept in. “Yeah, it was okay. Quite intense, though. We actually talked about the fight of thirteen years ago.” I said. I wondered if telling Danielle would be the right thing to do, but I just knew I wanted to be honest towards her. It had always worked out the best for me.
She lied her book down on her legs that were covered with the pearl white sheets. “Really? I thought you said that she was really closed up about it.” She said and I could hear the interest in her voice.
I climbed into bed next to her as soon as I had put on my sleeping shirt and planted a kiss on her pale cheek. “Yeah, we sort of got into a fight somehow. It’s actually quite a long story, but it all ended in her telling me that she left all those years ago, because she wanted me to have the career I have now.” I said, snuggling underneath the covers.
“Wow, I bet you didn’t see that one coming.” Dani said and she put the book back on the nightstand. I could hear that she was also quite confused about all this. She didn’t know Luna, but she had heard so much about her from me and the boys.
I shook my head, but before I could say anything back, her phone went off. She took if off the nightstand and looked at the message she had received. A smile grew on her face when she read it.
“What is it?” I asked her, chuckling. Her smile was contagious.
She quickly typed something back. “A photographer of mine, he woke up this morning with black marker on his face.” She said and she showed me a picture of a man I had seen once before. He looked very hungover and it looked like his friends had painted his face with marker in their drunken state.
I laughed at the picture. “It looks like he had a great time last night.” I said.
Danielle put the phone back on her nightstand and brushed some of her hair out of her face. “What if we had a great time tonight...” She said, seeming to suggest something. I knew exactly what she meant of course. Her grey eyes were sparkling and they seemed to pull me towards her.
I smiled at her and leaned in, softly kissing her lips. She kissed me back, lying her arms down over my shoulders. Kissing her felt familiar somehow. It felt like home. I would long it for months and then when I came back kissing her felt like relieve.
I deepened the kiss and moved her over a bit so I was hovering over her. I let my hands glide over her sides while hers travelled over my back. My heart started racing and my excitement started growing.
And before I knew it, the shirt I had just put on, was lying on the floor again.


I opened my eyes and immediately noticed that Dani had fallen asleep on my chest. Her red hair was scattered over the pillow and my shoulders and her eyes were still closed. She was softly snoring and as soon as I touched her nose with my finger she scrunched it up a little. She always did that, it was adorable.
I decided that I didn’t want to wake her, she just simply looked too cute and besides, she needed her sleep for today’s shoot. I could still move my right arm, so I picked up my phone from the nightstand and turned it on.
I looked at my messages and aside from the usual retweets and instagram comments, I also had a message from Luna. I felt a little weird opening it after everything what had happened yesterday. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed her to tell me her reason for leaving me. Then at least things wouldn’t be awkward right now.
I opened the message.

Luna: Hey, wanna meet at my place tonight? We still have to go over that one song. Xx

Well, at least over WhatsApp I could rethink what I wrote so I wouldn’t say something incredibly stupid. Whether it was a good thing or not I didn’t know.

Vic: Yeah, I think tonight will do. I’ll be there at nine. Xx

Nine was a little late, but I was also going over to my parents tonight. We really needed to get this song finished, though. I just wanted to start recording the first songs. I wanted them to be perfect and that just took a lot of time, but I was really excited to record what we already had.
As soon as I had sent the message, Dani’s alarm went off and I heard her stir underneath me. She yawned and brought one hand to her mouth and one hand to her still closed eyes to rub in one of them.
“Good morning, sleepyhead” I said softly, my smile reaching from ear to ear.
She opened her eyes and immediately rolled them. “Well aren’t you being cliché.” She said as she stretched herself out.
I chuckled as she pressed a kiss on my cheek and sat up. “Hey, at least I’m still making an effort on being romantic after two years of being together.” I said fake-insulted.
She threw the covers off her body and stood up. “You’re mushy. But you’re my mushy man.” She said walking up to me and quickly pecking me on the lips. She then walked out of the room, heading to the bathroom. I looked after her as she did, somehow I was still mesmerized by her after all this time.


Beep...beep...beep. “This is the voicemail of-”
I sighed and hung up, throwing my phone on the passenger seat of my car.
I looked at the time on the screen in my dashboard. Half past eight. Great. I would never be able to make it to Los Angeles in time. It would take at least an hour to get there.
I started the engine of my car and drove away. As soon as I was on the highway, I tried to call Luna again with the touch screen in my dashboard. The tones rang through my car and again it went to voicemail. This time I waited for the beep while following the boards next to the road, guiding me to LA.
After the beep, I spoke up. “Hey Luna, it’s Vic. I’m going to be late. You know my mom, always trying to make me stay longer and I actually kind of forget about time. I hope you get this message, so you won’t be waiting for me. I will be there as fast as I can. As long as traffic won’t be a bitch, I’ll be there around half past nine.” I said and at the same time I saw the traffic slow down until it stood still. “Nevermind, it will probably later. It’s all stuck here.” I groaned. Fucking traffic around Los Angeles. This place was too fucking crowded. “Well, I see you in a bit. Bye” I said and I ended the call.
I started ticking on the steering wheel, while I started to drift away in thought. I hated being stuck in traffic, you could say I was kind of an impatient mother fucker.
I wondered why Luna hadn’t picked up the phone. Normally she picked up immediately, mostly because she was addicted to her phone. She had practically grown attached to it. Well, I guess the battery had probably died or something.
I looked through the songs on my phone and eventually just put it on shuffle. My phone was connected with the speakers of the car so that was a good thing. I needed something to kill the time, because something told me I’d be stuck here for a while.
And I was right. It took me forty-five minutes of slow driving and singing along to my favorite songs to get out of the traffic jam. And after that another half hour to get to Luna’s house. It was now almost half past ten now and I was finally driving into Luna’s street. She still hadn’t called me back, which kind of freaked me out some how. Maybe she had forgotten that we’d meet up but that still wouldn’t explain why she didn’t answer the phone. It was just weird.
I stopped in front of her apartment complex and got out of the car. My legs felt stiff from being in the car for so long. I walked up to the door and rang the bell for her appartment. I was already preparing myself for ringing the bell of her neighbour, because I had to do it every single time. She was just always playing music and she couldn’t hear the bell because of it.
But this time it went a little different. Someone picked up and spoke over the intercom. “Yo, are you the pizza guy?” Someone asked. It wasn’t Luna, but I had a feeling I recognized the voice.
I was a bit blown away by this. “Uhm, no. I’m Vic. I had an appointment with Luna.” I said. This kept getting weirder and weirder.
“Vic!” The voice squealed. “It has been a long time, buddy. C’mon in man, enjoy the party with us! Luna! Vic is-”
Then the girl hung up and the door flew open. I was perplex for few seconds, processing what the fuck just happened. What was going on here? It seemed like the girl on the intercom recognized me too.
I walked into the building a bit resistant and climbed up the two stairs to her floor. I knocked on the front door of the apartment and it immediately swung open, revealing an incredibly drunk Danny. What was he doing here? His normally perfectly styled hair was a complete mess and his eyes were a little red. He was wearing sweatpants and a sweater. “Hey Vic, my man.” He said and he swung an arm around my shoulder, leading me inside. “Come join us, man” he sounded drunk. Very, very drunk.
“Uhm, what’s going on?” I asked as Danny closed the door after me. He rocked a bit on his place as he stood.
“It’s our weekly college night!” He stammered, tripping a bit over his words. “It’s our night on which we get wasted in our pj’s. I have killed so many brain cells in these sweats.” He said looking down at his legs with pride.
Did I really get all the way here to find out that Luna had met up with other people to get drunk? She could’ve let me know so I would have had to travel three hours to get here. It annoyed me a bit to find out that I was here for shit. “Let me guess, you started this when you were in college?” I asked. I thought back at my own college times and the amount of alcohol I had consumed in that period of my life.
Danny grinned stupidly at me. “Yeah! How’d you know?” He asked.
I didn’t smile back. All I wanted was to go back home again. “Because you said it was called ‘college night’” I said.
“Wow, you’re so smart, dude.” He said walking out of the hall and heading to the living room. “I knew you were smart, you look like a intelligent person, you know. You have a smart head. Not that you look like einstein or anything. You’re more handsome.” He rambled. Nothing he said made sense anymore. He must’ve had an awful lot to drink. Or it was his ‘drunk thing’. You know how every person had this ‘thing’ when they got drunk. Some people got very tired, some got very flirty, Tony had a habit of climbing on things when he was drunk. And I guess rambling was Danny’s drunk thing.
He opened the door to the living room and I saw that Luna and another girl were sitting on the floor laughing hysterically about something. I guess the girl was the voice I heard on the intercom.
When they turned around I saw that it was Casey. It felt very weird not seeing her with her familiar blue hair. It was as white as snow now.
“Come sit with us, Vic.” She said and she mentioned in her direction. “You can also have some whiskey!”
Luna sat behind her and I saw by the little twitch by her left eye that she had quite a lot to drink. It was something that also used to happen when we were younger. “We don’t have any left, Casey.” She giggled.
Casey let out a hysteric laugh and almost fell over in the process. “Malibu?”
“All empty.”
“I don’t think we have anything anymore.”
Casey turned around to me and shot me an apologetic look. “Sorry, no alcohol for you.” She said.
I smiled a little. “It doesn’t matter. I was here because I had an appointment with Luna, but I guess that won’t be happening anymore.” I said.
I looked at Luna and saw that she was trying to think really hard about what to say. Then it suddenly hit her. “Oh my god, Vic. I totally forgot. I wasn’t going to drink much tonight so I could meet up with you later, but it had completely slipped my mind.” She said completely shocked. She seemed to be having some trouble sitting up straight.
Danny had apparently disappeared into the kitchen and came back now with a big bowl of popcorn, it was half burned.
“It’s okay. It happens to everyone.” I said, trying to hide the annoyance. Not that I had much left, somehow it kind of faded now I wasn’t grumpy about the car drive anymore.
“Vic, sit down. I know we’re annoying when we’re drunk, but it’s better than trying to drive back home to San Diego.” Danny said while eating his burned popcorn with a straight face.
He was right, though. I really didn’t feel like driving home right now.
“You can sit next to Luna.” Casey said to me, but she shot Luna a promising look. Luna just glared at her in response.
I sat down next to Luna on the ground. Why were they even sitting on the ground? I decided not to ask. It was a better idea to ask them when they were sober. I would get a reason that made more sense if I did that I guess. For now I just enjoyed watching them all making fools out of themselves.
“Okay, let’s just continue never have I ever. We might be out of alcohol, but that won’t bring our spirits down.” Danny said and then he looked at me. “Before you ask, Vic. Yes, we are grown-ups in our thirties who still do drinking games on friday nights. Deal with it.”
I laughed. “Okay, I’ll join in.” I said. Why not have a little fun while I was here?
Casey clapped in her hands in exitement. She really still was the same girl as she used to be. “Yay! But we need something to shot for when we have done something.” she said and she looked around the room with glassy eyes.
Luna did an attempt on standing up, but fell down again. “I’ll get the orange juice.” she said and she tried to stand again. I already felt like this was going the wrong direction, so I took her shoulders and helped her stand. “Here, I’ll help you.” I said and she nodded.
Casey and Danny immediately started whistling. “Ohhhh! Sex in the kitchen! Make it quick, though. I want to continue the game.” Danny said and I rolled my eyes as I helped Luna to the kitchen.
We took the orange juice out of the fridge and got back to the living room. As soon as we arrived we all got a shot glass and it was poured full with orange juice. This was so weird yet funny.
First it was Casey’s turn. “Never have I ever...Thrown up on a date.” she said and giggled for thirty seconds straight after. No one took a shot, except for me.
Of course they wanted me to explain. I sighed and told them. “It was honestly the most horrible date I have ever had. I think it was when I was twenty-five or something. She made us food and it was just...fucking disgusting. I couldn’t keep it down.” I said and they all laughed. Casey giggled for another thirty seconds
“Okay, my turn!” Danny said, even though it was actually my turn. Somehow I didn’t think these people cared a lot about the rules anymore. They were way passed that. “Never have I ever, peed my pants when I was over the age of twelve.” he said and I looked around to see if people took sips of their orange juice.
It took a while for her to respond, but eventually Luna took her little glass and put it to her lips. She shivered as soon as she was finished. “I hate orange juice. I don’t even know why I have it in my fridge.” she said and laughed, trying to slam her hand on the table but she missed and hit the floor.
The other guys laughed too, but seemed to have already moved on from the fact that she had admitted she had peed her pants when she was older than twelve. As Danny was already making new drinks for us and Casey was playing with her hair.
So I decided to ask. “When did you pee your pants?” I asked her and I saw the other’s turn their heads too. Luna first looked at me like she didn’t understand, her grey eyes looking at a point past me, but then it suddenly hit her. “Ohh yeah. I peed my pants in the shed, back when I was kidnapped.” she said and she seemed to tense up a bit. Which I didn’t think was possible with the amount of alcohol she had consumed. I felt like she would’ve never have shared this if she wouldn’t be completely wasted. “I didn’t leave that chair for three days, so I had to.” she said.
There was a short silence in the room as all the drunk minds in this room tried to process this information. They probably wouldn’t even remember this when they woke up, but I would.
“Wow, didn’t that like...smelled really bad?” Danny asked, he couldn’t quite see the seriousness of this situation anymore in his state.
Luna nodded and grinned shortly. “It smelled worse than anything ever. The horrible thing is that I can still remember precisely what it smelled like. The stench returns every time I have nightmares about that place.” she said. Her face was happy, but there was a bit of fear behind her eyes. It was her sober mind, that was still swimming in there somehow.
It scared me a lot that she still had nightmares about that place. It made sense after everything she had been through, but I had hoped it didn’t affect her anymore. That place had changed her. I could never get the Luna back from before her kidnapping. She was still awesome, sweet and funny, but she was also damaged, frightened and paranoid.
Her eyes seemed to zone out now, slowly drifting off into sleep. But she tried to keep herself awake. “I want to sleep, but I’m afraid I’ll dream about ‘them’ again now I have talked about it.” she said pouting and she almost fell over, but woke herself up again. I knew exactly who she meant by ‘them’.
I got a grip of her shoulders again and helped her up. “Come on, I’ll bring you to bed.” I said softly to her. I let her lean on me with one arm around my neck.
“Use protection, guys.” Danny said while we stumbled out of the living room. He was slowly dozing off into sleep himself, almost falling asleep in his chair.
I rolled my eyes again as I walked through the halls of Luna’s apartment, dragging an almost passed out girl with me. Well, I knew she’d do the same for me if it were me.
We got into her bedroom and I took the covers away with my remaining hand, before lying Luna down on her mattress. She almost looked dead as she fell down on it, that was how relaxed her muscles were. I only noticed now, that her skin was still very pale, even though she had lived in california for years. Her skin almost matched her white covers.
I put her covers back over her and she stirred. I thought she was asleep, so I was about to leave the room, but then she tried to grab my wrist. All she managed to do was touch it, though. I looked at her and her eyes were still closed. “Vic, I’m so sorry about tonight. I fucked up...I shouldn’t have forgotten about it.” she said and her words sounded all over the place. But they seemed sincere.
I sat down on the edge of her bed and quickly patted the hand that tried to grab my wrist. “It’s okay. It was actually quite an amusing end of this weird day.” I said softly.
She opened her eyes and looked at me. She brushed her messy, long hair out of her face and grabbed my hand. “I’m really glad we’re friends again, Vic.” she said as softly as me.
I let out a breath. I was actually so happy to hear that. It seemed a lot like she didn’t want to be my friend anymore and I didn’t like it. Now I knew it was all just a protection shield. Drunk people usually told the truth, right?
“Me too.” I said grinning. I tried to take my hand back, but she kept holding on to it. I didn’t protest. If it helped her sleep, it was okay.
Luna looked over my face with very tired eyes and smiled. “you’re really pretty Vic. Especially your eyes. I always loved your eyes. I loved that the most about you, about your appearance at least” she said and then she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
What did she mean by that? I was almost considering waking her up to ask, but I knew I couldn’t do that. Why did it make me happy to know that this meant that she might still have feelings for me? I shouldn’t be happy about that!
After I had seen her for the first time again, I knew that we were never meant to be in a relationship. We were always meant to just be friends and that’s why things ended between us.
At least that’s what I thought. But it turned out that we broke up, because she loved me too much. Could it be possible, that after all those years, she was still attracted to me? To her very first boyfriend? It didn’t make sense. I guess drunk people didn’t tell the truth after all.
And what was she to me? I was so sure that we were just friends, but here I was. Sitting by her bed, holding her hand and putting up with all the horrible stuff she did to me.


Heyyy guys!!

Sorry it took so long! and it's probably shit, because i wrote it on my phone and I'm too tired to read it through properly...Well, at least it's long. (that's what she said.)

But oh well, I'll try to update as soon as I can, but things are just crazy lately. I'm starting college soon and I'm in a band now so it's all a littler weird. But I still love writing and I won't let you guys down! I will finish this story!




@Jesse Provau
Aawww that's so sweet! It means a lot that you like it!

I have a lot of work to do at college lately, but I promise as soon as All that is over I will comtinue writing this! I haven't forgotten this story!

I will definitely follow you on ig btw! You seem like a very sweet person!

For starters : this is a wonderful story. i spent the past few days beige reading this a work (thank god for slow days at an office job). secondly, you have great writing skills, i hope you continue to explore those further. lastly, please update soon; IM HOOKED

- Jesse a 22 year old HUGE PTV fan and new fan of YOU(:

follow my IG @_provau

Jesse Provau Jesse Provau


Omg! I'm so sorry! But I'm happy you thought it was worth it :)

I waited so long for an update and it was worth it

freedom_writer freedom_writer