The Diary (Sequal To The Pact)
“Why are you doing this?!” I screamed at the top of my lunges for the fourth time. I looked at the girl in front of me. The girl I had spent three years with, exactly three years, it was our anniversary. I knew every piece of her body, but still it seemed like a complete stranger was standing in front of me.
Only a few moments ago, she had announced that she not only wanted to break up with me, but also wanted to break things of with my brother and my best friends. It came out of nowhere and she hadn’t tried to make an effort of sparing our feelings.
She let her eyes fall to the street and blinked her long black lashes in the process. She hadn’t looked me in the eye the entire time. She had named me every name under the sun, but she didn’t once look at me. It made me feel a bit of hope. Even though I knew it was false hope.
“Why can’t you just see that I don’t love you anymore?” she said loudly, but not loud enough to be yelling. “I wanna get out of this! It’s driving me mad!”
My mind flashed to all the memories of the past months. Yes, we had been doing less good than normally, but this was overly dramatic.
Maybe we had been doing worse than I thought and she really didn’t love me anymore. For some reason that was hard to believe to me. Mostly because this came out of nowhere.
“Why now? Why so suddenly?” I asked. “We could just talk about it! Like we always do! We’ll get through this. I don’t get why you have to be so drastic”
A few people were passing on the street and looked at us. I didn’t even care what it must’ve looked like, a group of five adolescents on the street yelling at each other. All I could think about now, was my world that was crumbling down.
“Vic, it’s done. Deal with it.” She said. She waved us away and started to angrily march in the direction of her house. But before she could come far, Mike had taken a hold of her wrist. When she tried to get out, he tightened his grip on her. “Let me go, Mike!” she yelled and her eyes shot fire at my little brother, that had grown a lot in length over the years.
“No! You can’t just dump us like we’re trash!” he said, with his usual calm and scary anger voice. “Is this about that fight you and Vic had on your birthday?”
She looked away again. We had had a big fall out on her birthday because I had come back for her while I was on tour. She was turning twenty and we had already been arguing a bit before this, so I decided to go back and cancel tour to make things right. But instead she got mad at me. Well, not mad, she almost had a panic attack and then we argued. It was so weird and she wouldn’t even tell me what was wrong. I had the weird feeling that I’d never know.
She pulled her wrist with a lot of force back from Mike’s grip and held on to it with her other hand. “Partly. But I’m just done.” She said a little calmer and for the first time in this fight it sounded like she meant it. I knew her for almost four years now and I knew exactly when she lied or not. I didn’t get why she was so mean to us, but I knew she didn’t mean it. I mean she couldn’t actually mean it, right? She was our best friend!
I let out a breath and walked over to her. I took hold of her hands and surprisingly she let me. I was not about to let her go, I was convinced that we could go through everything. That I would grow old with her. “Luna. We can fix this. We just need to talk about it, okay? This doesn’t have to be the end.” I said and I tried my best to let my words pierce through her head. She needed to believe every single word I said.
She was still looking away, but for a second I thought I saw tears glisten in her eyes. She blinked them away very fast though. A few seconds of silence filled the air, before she raised her head and looked me right in the eyes. “Vic. There’s nothing to fix. I don’t have feelings for you anymore. We have grown apart, deal with it. You’re just a loser that can’t seem to let things go.” She said and her voice was ice cold. I kept looking her in the eyes after she had said it, hoping to find a trace of sadness, a trace of guilt. But there was nothing. She meant what she had said. Within a few seconds she had transformed into a bitch I used to know instead of the love of my life.
Before I realized this though, I felt two pairs of arms yank me away from her. “C’mon Vic, she is not worth it.” I heard Jaime say in my left air. I somehow knew that Mike was on the right side of me.
When they had me at a reasonable distance from her, I saw Tony walk to Luna. He just stood in front of her and said: “I expected better from you. We looked up to you for so long. You were like a sister to me. After everything we’ve been through together, I thought you’d at least have the guts to tell us the reason of why you’re breaking all of our hearts. We trusted you.” His voice was calm, but I felt every single piece of his pain as he spoke. I felt that his words, were what we all thought. Tony had a rare gift of expressing what was on all of our minds.
The only movement her face made during Tony’s words was a small twitch of her mouth. She didn’t gave away any other signs of emotion. It didn’t seem to bother her at all that she had crushed our souls.
For years this had been the girl of my dreams. I had loved her because she was honest, caring and loving. Not a single one of these characteristics was still evident in this girl. I couldn’t help but think that this was all a lie. Our friendship, our relationship, our honesty. But there was also still a part of me that wanted to do anything to fix this.
“You shouldn’t have.” She just said without any sign of regret. Every second I looked at her made my heart break even more. Like she was slowly sucking all of my happiness out of me.
Tony looked down at his feet, then nodded and walked towards us again. I looked at the faces of the guys. They seemed drained of happiness too.
We walked away leaving Luna at her doorstep and getting inside my car. I was heading towards the driver’s seat, but Mike stopped me. He was right, I probably wouldn’t be able to drive right now. I was shaking from head to toe. Luckily for me, Mike had gotten his driver’s license a year ago.
On the way to our home, we didn’t spoke. We all knew that this was the end of a specific period in our lives. A period we hoped would never end, but if it had to, we had hoped it would end a little happier. Or at least less painful.
I knew what was waiting for me, but it just didn’t seem as exciting anymore. As we would get home, me and Mike would get into our van with the other boys of our band and travel the country. It was what I always dreamed of doing, but it would be never the same again. I wouldn’t be able to share it with her anymore.
Because deep inside, I knew that this was the end. I would never see her again.
She had shot a bullet through my love for her and I had thought for so long that it was bulletproof.
Danielle: I’m okay, Vic. Really, I’m just a little nauseous.
Vic: Are you sure? Ugh, I wish I could be there.
Danielle: Yes, I’m sure. Yeah, I wish you were here too. I miss you.
Vic: I’m miss you too, baby.
I looked up to see my three bandmates and our manager walk into the back lounge. As they sit down, I put my phone into the pocket of my jeans and lean back into the couch.
I really hoped Danielle was okay. I hated the feeling that I was miles away from her as she was sick. She had a habit of lying about her being fine to make me feel better. I guess it was sweet, but in times like this when I was at the other side of the world, it made me lose my mind.
“So about the next album…” Our manager Michele began as she went through a pile of papers on her lap.
“Do we really have to talk about that already? We just released one.” Mike said as he moved his legs over Tony’s lap, who was sitting next to him.
“Yeah and that took you guys four years, it’s a good idea to start a little earlier on this one.” Michele said as she shot a glare at Mike.
Michele was a really cool person, but she was very strict if it came down to management. I guess that’s what made her a good manager.
“Arranging some first things can’t hurt.” Tony said as he pushed Mike’s legs of his lap.
To be honest, I felt a bit bad for making the fans wait this long for a new album, but it was really necessary to make the album perfect. And eventually it did turn out perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of a record than Misadventures.
“Okay. Well, who do you want to be the producer?” Michele asked as she took out a paper from her pile.
That was an easy question for us. “Dan. We’ve worked with him on the last two albums and it just worked out really good.” I said as I put my hands a little deeper into the sleeves of my sweater. We were somewhere in North-Europe now and I felt the cold air even in the bus. How could people actually live in this weather?
Michele looked up from her paper and looked around the group. “Do you guys agree with that? Because I’ve been keeping an eye on some producers and you could at least check them out.” She said.
Jaime shrugged. “We could at least see who you have your eye on. Tell us about them.” He said and smiled.
Michele started to name producers on her list and what they had accomplished in their years of work. I tried to keep my mind on it and give these people a chance, but it was hard because I was completely sure I wanted to work with Dan again. Every time I had something on my mind, it was hard to change it. It was a part of my personality since I was very young.
So my mind slowly, but surely started to drift off to other things. Like what the show tonight was going to be like, performing in different countries was always so different. And of course my mind was also repeatedly going to Danielle, wondering if she was fine. I really loved this girl and this could maybe finally be the one. I had a lot of relationships that ended in nothing and I was determined to make this one work.
“So this one, I was doubting this one a lot.” Michele said when my mind was on the soccer game I had watched on TV yesterday. “The special thing is that it’s a woman. She has worked with a few quite big names, but just as an assistant-producer. She doesn’t have a very impressive resume, but it was the way of working that interested me a lot. It’s a way of working I think you’d like.”
Mike sighed and dragged his hands over his face. “I’d rather have someone with some more experience to be honest.” He said.
“It’s not a short resume, she’s in her thirties so she has had quite some experience, but she just doesn’t have an impressive resume. Mainly small bands and assistant manager jobs.” Michele said. “I have chatted with her for a while and she seems pretty cool. It’s someone you’d get along with. She has even lived in San Diego for a while in her teenage years.”
That last part sparked a memory in my brain, a memory that I hadn’t touched in years and was dusty from being in the back of my head for so long.
I sat up straight and adjusted my snapback. This couldn’t be. The chance that this was actually her was extremely small, but I still couldn’t get it out of my mind. She always wanted to be a producer….but at the other hand, the music business was so big. This couldn’t be here
“What’s her name?” I asked and I tried to hide the suspicion in my voice. I hadn’t processed the emotion that was attached to the memory yet. I had no idea how I had to feel about this if it was actually her.
Michele put up a thinking face. “Luna. But I don’t remember her last name anymore. It has to be somewhere in this pile, though.” She said as she started to search through her pile.
Hearing her name was like a bomb going off in my brain. A bomb of memories.
Around me I noticed that the guys around me were tensing up too. They were having the same realization as I had a few minutes ago. “Can you describe her? Like what she looked like?” Jaime asked still a bit in thought. He was probably processing everything.
Michele looked at Jaime with a confused face. When she saw that he was staring at a point across from him, sunken away in thought, she let her eyes go over the rest of us. “Uhm…She had long brown hair and very big blue eyes. She was quite small and she had a tattoo on her under arm. She was quite pretty actually.” She said and shrugged. “Why?”
Tony was the next to speak up. “Did she have a very thick English accent?” He asked
Michele’s eyes went big. “Yes, she did. How do you know? Do you guys know her?” she asked and she once again moved her vision over all of our faces.
I was barely even aware of was going on anymore, as a lot of childhood memories came rushing back at me. I hadn’t been thinking about my first girlfriend and best friend in high school a lot anymore, but I remembered how good she always used to be with music. I knew based on my memories that we could make a killer album working together with her.
Maybe a part of me also wanted to see her just because I was curious. I wanted know what she looked like now, how her life was and if we’d still get along.
It was this feeling of nostalgia and the thought of her amazing producing skills that made me say the next words: “We’ll take her.”
So this is the first chapter to the sequel of the pact! If you haven't read that one please click here to read it
I have actually put this chapter on earlier, but I had promised a friend of mine she could make a trailer before I put it on. So click here to see that.
I really hope you guys are going to like this story. I'm currently kind of going through a phase that my writing isn't that good. So every kind of feedback is wanted :)
ps. It feels good to be back
Aawww that's so sweet! It means a lot that you like it!
I have a lot of work to do at college lately, but I promise as soon as All that is over I will comtinue writing this! I haven't forgotten this story!
I will definitely follow you on ig btw! You seem like a very sweet person!