I woke up on still on the couch with Mike. We both had twizzlers in our hands, and I imagined that we fell asleep whilst casting a spell on each other. I chuckled at the thought.

I yawned, peering across Mike and out the window. The sun was already high into the sky; it must have been noon.

“’Morning sleepy head,” I yawned again, noticing his eyes opening. He grinned and took a bite out of his left over twizzler. I giggled, standing up.

“We liked Mike’s idea,” I heard Jaime say from the kitchen. He and Tony both had a plate of spaghetti, and marshmallows, Hershey syrup, and pop tarts covered the table.

“No fucking way!” Mike exclaimed, bouncing up and racing over to the table.

“Hey, where’s Vic?” I asked. Jaime’s face flattened in seriousness.

“His room,” he said, nodding.

I opened the door to Vic’s room and slipped inside.

He was just standing there.

“Are you okay?” I asked warily.

“I went to your apartment this morning,” Vic said. Oh, no.

“Was he there?” I tried to control my breathing, but anything that had to do with Jake made me panic.

Vic shook his head. I couldn’t decide if I was relieved or not. He could be anywhere, now. “Your apartment…”

“What?”

“He was definitely there. It was trashed,” he continued.

I groaned. My hands were shaking. I felt light headed, nauseous. Vic noticed.

“What did he do to you?”

“Nothing,” I said quietly. Before he could object to my answer, I walked forward and collided with him, putting my arms all the way around him. I didn’t want to talk about it.

I was about his height, so I rested my chin on his shoulder. “I just want to forget him,” I said quietly.

“Come on,” he said, leading me out of his room. “Let’s play some music.”


~


We didn’t mention the Jake incident again. I told Vic I wanted to forget about it. I had already recovered from the mental and physical pain that I endured from being with Jake, and I had no interest in reopening those wounds. I was past that part of my life, at least I thought I was. I wanted them to see me as strong.

Now, my life revolved around music and the guys. We were getting ready to go on tour—my first tour as a part of the band.

“I’m so excited!!!!” Jaime ran around the bus seven times in order to release some energy.

“Are you excited, bear?” Tony grinned. I was excited, but I was also nervous.

“We’ve practiced so much, you’ll be fine. Just have fun,” Mike shook my shoulders from behind me.

All of my nervous energy suddenly escaped when I saw Vic exit the bus. He sent me an encouraging smile. This was going to be fun.

“Okay, I’m excited!” I pronounced, skipping around with Jaime.

“Alright, good. Now it’s time to go, the venue is thirty minutes away, and we need to set up,” our tour manager, Steve, said.

We all piled into the bus, ready to go. I walked to the back where the bunks were, needing a second by myself.


I swore that I wasn’t going to think about these things. That I wouldn’t let the thought that I didn’t belong here enter my mind. That I felt awkward. That I knew the fans wouldn’t like me. That I was ruining the original image of Pierce the Veil. That I didn’t deserve their love. That I didn’t deserve their company or their kind words. That I was just as worthless as Jake had always described me. I had made a mistake—I went to the blade the night after my Harry Potter marathon with Mike. The pressure was too much, the thought of Jake lurking in San Diego was killing me. I was so mad at myself, because even that action was selfish. I knew Vic would be disappointed, because they were supposed to be the reason why I was better and healthy. I didn’t want them to blame themselves. But I did it anyway.

“You know you get bad when you are by yourself,” Vic said, watching me. It was like he was reading my mind.

“I just can’t help it,” I muttered.

What he did next surprised me.
He picked up my left arm, which my right hand was subconsciously holding, and kissed the mainly visible scars. “You don’t deserve that,” he said, referring to my scars. “You do, however, deserve this,” he said, gesturing towards the bus, the band, the music.

“I promise I’m stronger than this, Vic,” I said. “I’m not as pathetic as you guys probably think,” I added.

“You’re not pathetic. We all have our moments of needing to breakdown, just as long as we have someone to pick us back up,” he said. He then stood up, bringing me with him.

“You’ll feel better after the show,” he said.

I believed him.

We got to the venue, and there were kids already lined up. We went through the back and set up our instruments and did a quick sound check—we were due to go on stage in thirty minutes. Adrenaline rushed through me, making my hands shake. This was going to be my first real show! Our first show, together.

I’ve seen the guys goofy, but I’ve never seen them in their “pre-concert form”. I hardly knew what to do with myself, but I didn’t care because we were having fun being stupid. Vic was serenading Tony with the Star Wars theme song in a hum, Jaime, for some bizarre reason, was stopping, dropping, and rolling, “just in case”, and I was somehow on Mike’s shoulders, trying to create the tallest monster in the world.

“Big Foot has nothing on us,” I giggled as I attempted to keep my balance on Mike’s shoulders. I almost fell off of him and almost crashed into Parker, the merch girl. I hadn’t seen her in what felt like forever, I was almost like a different person.

“How’s it going?” She asked excitedly.

“Awesome!” I smiled wide.

“Come visit me after the meet and greet!” she chirped, giving Mike, who had safely set me down, a high five.

“Of course!”

I was getting very excited. Everyone else’s excitement was rubbing off on me. And this was the point of everything. Playing the music is what I’ve always wanted to do. So no more nerves, because this was where I belonged.

“It’s almost time!” Tony squealed like a thirteen-year-old girl.

I could hear the crowd roar. We all got set up in our microphones and other equipment. Jaime was re-tuning his bass, Mike was twirling his drumsticks, Tony was doing a few practice riffs on his guitar. I was lightly bouncing up and down on the balls of my feet, shaking out my arms, taking a few breaths.

“All right, guys,” Vic leaned his head in. “And girl,” he added with a wink.

We embraced each other in a family circle. “Let’s fucking rock,” he said loudly. We all cheered, and then we danced across the stage.

“Hey, we’re Pierce the Veil,” Vic held his arms out wide. The crowd went nuts. “Please welcome our new family member, Claire Bear,” the crowd continued to scream. “And, San Diego…make this night fucking awesome for her. I have a really good feeling about you guys, tonight!”

“Let’s go!” he screamed, and Mike kicked in on the drums, and then we immediately went into “A Match Into Water”, and the crowd went wild.

Notes

This chapter was originally going to be a short, filler chapter, but it got pretty long, i guess!

The next chapter i wrote a while back when i had a sudden spurt of inspiration, and i'm so exicted to post it!
I don't think you guys are ready for what happens next >:)

Thanks as always!!!! <3