We decided to get married in the fall, sometime after we tour. We were in no rush at all, especially because we knew already that he was mine and I was his. We loved each other, but right now, the band was our first priority. We needed this tour; it's been almost a year.

I didn't mind waiting, especially because I knew we'd be together. So it didn't even matter! But I did, however, feel sad for Jess and Jaime. Jaime was obviously head-over-heals in love with her, but, like us, he also cared about the band. And unfortunately, Jess had other obligations, too, like her own job. Everyday the tour got closer, I noticed her grow more and more quiet, more and more sad. And Jaime wasn't himself, ether. I wished that she had somewhere here that she could hang with while Jaime was away, like another girlfriend of the band. That was when I realized that maybe she did.

"So, Tony," I said.

"What?" He said, barely looking up from his notes. We were making a set list for the tour.

"How's Parker?" I asked mischievously. I noticed him blush. I saw Jaime smirk

"She’s your friend! You tell me," he mumbled.

"Come on, turtle, we all know you have the hots for her," Jaime chimed in.

"Guys!" Tony groaned, thoroughly embarrassed.

"It's true, though. And she definitely likes you, I have my sources," I winked. "But don't tell her I said that."

"Ugh, could you guys just go one day without trying to set me up with someone?" He groaned again.

"It's not just some random person, though," Vic smiled. “She likes Star Wars.”

"Well she's coming over tonight, anyway," I noted.

"Oh yes, party!" Mike jumped up and down excitedly.

"Party? For what?" Tony asked, clearly thinking about other things.

"Hmm, I don't know. Maybe the ENGAGEMENT!" Jaime said ecstatically, bouncing over to me and kissing me on the top of my head.

"Hey! She's mine!" Vic winked. I giggled.

"Alright, well she'd be here for you bear, not me," Tony concluded.

"Whatever you say, Tone," I rolled my eyes.

"Oh!" I exclaimed after a moment of silence. "I forgot to tell you guys!"

"What?"

"I got my first tattoo a few days ago, when I was out with Parker!"

"That's sick!!" Mike said excitedly. "But damn, bear, you've never seemed like the tattoo type!" Mike said.

I growled. I got that a lot. I have always been the "clean" and "pure" girl. Not that I was dirty or impure, it was just everyone judged me based on how I looked on the outside.

I guess I was still sensitive.

"What is it of?" Vic asked.

"It's an anchor," I said, blushing. "I've always wanted one, I sketched it my self," I said.

"Where is it?" Mike asked, looking at me.

"My side," I said, patting my side rib cage.

"Sexy," Vic said, pulling me close. "I'll see it later," he whispered into my ear. I giggled.

Mike made a gagging sound; he must have heard Vic.

"So, who's coming over tonight?" Tony asked.

"Parker is," I winked. He blushed again, and he seemed to be holding back a laugh.

"The All Time Low guys are coming back. And Jess, of course. And all of the crew. Don't count on me, but apparently Mayday Parade is in town, too, and they might come over," Jaime said.

"Yay, seriously?!" I asked excitedly. I loved the guys from Mayday Parade; I met them a few months ago when Vic was recovering, and they were just all around sweet guys.

"Yes," Jaime said. "And a surprise guest for you, bear," he added.

I furrowed my eyebrows. Surprise guest? "Who could that possibly be?"

Vic furrowed his eyebrows, too; apparently he didn't know, either.

"You'll find out! The mystery person or people can only come for like thirty minutes," Tony said.

"Hm. Alright, then."

~~

I left the guys to go get ready for the party.

I showered quickly, and then tried to figure out what to wear. It was hot outside, and I assumed it would be hot inside with all of the people, so I decided to wear ripped, light wash jean shorts, my graphic “phases of the moon” print tank, and vans. I sat down to put on makeup and loosely curl my hair, in a messy, but cute, way.

This wasn't a formal party. I honestly couldn’t imagine this crowd at a serious or formal event, and I laughed to myself imagining myself in a fancy dress.

"Shouldn't we warn her? I don't know about this," I heard Vic's voice faintly outside. He sounded stressed.

"I thought she would miss them, though," I heard Jaime say.

"I'm afraid, though. They didn't even call her when she got hurt, or when she almost killed herself... Both things that were very public," Vic said. My heart thumped, I knew who they were talking about. I felt my blood go sour in my veins. “I don’t want to trigger her. She’s doing so good,” he said sadly.

“But didn’t you say…?” What did he say?

“Yeah, I know, but now that I am thinking about it, I just don’t know. I don’t want to ruin things,” Vic said.

There was a long silence. I didn't know what to think. Yes, I missed my parents. But did they deserve to see me? Did I deserve to see them? Vic was right, they never checked on me, even in the darkest of my days. No, they didn't even check on me during my best, either. I didn't want to see them. Thinking about seeing them made it hard to breath. The more I thought about it, the more my chest hurt.

I jerked the door open and grasped Vic by his shirt, pulling him inside. I couldn’t speak, but I put my hand to my chest, and he immediately knew what was wrong.

He wrapped his arms around me, sliding down against the now closed door. He held me tightly, breathing slowly. I tried to match my breathing with his. I just focused on him, and only him. He was there. He was all I needed.

“Sorry,” I said when I decided that I could breath properly.

“You heard, didn’t you?” he said softly into my ear.

“I can’t see them, Vic, I just can’t. They were never there for me, I don’t want to see them,” I gasped as I spoke.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” he rubbed my arms, which I still had wrapped tightly around myself.

“But don’t let the other guys feel bad about it,” I said severely. “It’s not their fault, they were just trying to be considerate.”

“I know, I know,” he said softly. “But… well, never mind,” he shook his head.

“What is it?” I said, relaxing myself into his arms.

“You’ve been talking in your sleep,” he said quietly.

I bit my lip. I didn’t know I was even dreaming, let along talking in my sleep. “What have I been saying?”

“I’m not sure exactly, but you often mumble about your mom and dad,” he said.

“Oh.”

“You cry a little, too,” he said, squeezing me tighter.

“I thought I was better,” my voice broke. I thought I was past the sadness. I was happy.

“You are. You just can’t help it in your sleep, sometimes,” he soothed. “I think you subconsciously miss them,” he said.

“No, I subconsciously miss the concept of them,” I said after a moment’s reflection. “I don’t need them. I have you guys, here,” I said firmly. It was what I believed. There was no doubt about it.

He kissed the top of my head. I sighed. Everything felt better when he had his arms around me.

Notes

I can't believe this is Chapter 18 already.... wow lol

I hope you guys enjoy! more to come sooooooon :)

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