But Where's Your Heart?

I subconsciously tapped on the desk while humming along to "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson waiting for the lunch bell to ring.

I was currently in biology class and I had just realised that Mike is in this class too, I guess I never noticed. When the bell rang I gathered my things and walked to the exit of the class, tapping Mike on the shoulder then running away.

I got to my locker then turned to see.if Mike noticed only to find that he was right behind me. I jumped at the sight of his tall lanky presence so close to me which made us both burst into a fit of laughter. I started to open my locker.

"So am I gonna see you at lunch today Mike?"

For some reason, after the day we met, I never saw Mike during lunch.

"hmmmm, probably not " he said putting his hands into his pockets

"Why? Where do you go anyways?"

"I can't tell you"

Offended, I slammed my locker and turned around.

"And why is that?" I said crossing my arms.

"Can't afford snitches"

My jaw dropped.

"Mike, do I look like a snitch to you?"

He stepped back, looked over my body, then shrugged.

"Some friends and I usually go and smoke some joints"

"Oh" I was somewhat disappointed. I thought he was killing people or something.

"Oh what?"

"No, no I just thought you were doing something worse" I chuckled slightly.

"Do you mind if I come too?"

He looked at me surprised, shocked almost. But his expression almost immediately changed into a smile.

"But of course my lady, let us be gone!"

And with that, we linked arms an skipped to the far east end of the school.

There was a small group of guys, about 4 or 5, all in a circle laughing. Mike greeted one of them with a special hand shake then introduced me.

"Guys this is Andie, Andie this Sammy, Daniel, Josh, Ryan and Damien"

Damien stepped forward and kissed my hand.

"Why hello" he said with a smirk.

And me, being the flustered fuck I am, just said:

"Sup"

Mike started chuckling at me and i elbowed his stomach.

"Alright!" Mike said clapping his hands, then rubbing then together.

"Can someone please roll one for miss Andie and I?"

Sammy started rolling and passed one to each of us, already lit. Mike gave me a reassuring nod and.... Inhale, wait a sec, exhale. A smile grew on Mike's face then he put an arm around my shoulder.

"Ah, I can tell we're gonna be good friends Andie, I can feel it"

I laughed then continued smoking, and by the time I finished, I felt fucking great. This is better than drinking!

Mike said that we could skip the rest of school due to the special occasion. We just sat and talked about everything and nothing. Everything was going great until he mentioned something that ruined my mood completely.

"Hey Andie...?"

"Mhmm?"

"I know someone, well two someones, that have a big crush on you!" He held out his arms to show exactly how big.

"Whaaat? Noooo way, why would anyone like a piece of shit like me? Like I don't even know why you guys want me as a friend. I honestly don't know why" I said leaning against the wall.

"Well you seem like rad chick to me, like who else would get high with me during school?"

I burst out into laughter, Mike is so funny.

"So who are the two blind guys who fancy me?" Now Mike started laughing.

"Fancy is a funny word" he said falling back onto the wall.

"What are we in? The 1800's?" Then we both started laughing. We were both just so happy. I wiped tears from my eyes from laughing so hard.

"Mike I haven't laughed like this in sooo long"

"Why? Have you been sad?"

"Yeah, my life is shit, might as well throw it away right?"

"Can't argue with that logic " we giggled.

"Like, come on, I'm almost 16 and I have two failed suicide attempts, I lost the love of my life, I'm probably an alcoholic, I have and addiction to cutting, I'm failing every class except music and art, my parents don't give a shit about me, I've been kidnapped twice and I haven't even had my first kiss yet!" I blurted out in frustration.

I crossed my arms over my chest and clawed at my shoulders. For some odd reason, this is the best way to calm down if I don't have my music with me.

I turned to Mike and tears rolled down my cheeks. I don't feel happy anymore and I don't think he does either.

He moved closer to me and put his arm around my shoulder and hugged me.

"Andie, I had no idea–"

"Of course you didn't Mike, how could you? I'm the one that doesn't talk about anything, the only one who knows is a really close friend of mine, Andrew, and Vic"

"why did you only tell Vic and not the rest of us?"

"At the beginning of the year i talked to Vic a lot and one day i blurted it out, kinda like i did just now"

He rubbed circles on my back and honestly I have never felt better, he listened to me and actually cares about what's happened to me, and I don't know if I'm wallowing in my self pity or if I truly deserve this but I just needed it so bad.

Not long after, the bell rang and we decided to leave. Since were at the back of the school, to get to the entrance was a short walk but before we walked into the parking lot, i hugged Mike.

" Thank you so much"

"You're very welcome but for what?"

"For just being here with me, for just being you"

I squeezed him a bit before letting go and when I did, I gave him a soft smile and he returned it.

We walked into the parking lot and I immediately spotted the guys standing by Vic's car. Then I remembered that our eyes are still red from crying and getting high. I turned quick and told Mike but he said not to worry about it.

We walked up to the guys and Vic immediately stopped their conversation and hugged me.

I was shocked at first but then I remembered I did the same thing to him to him this morning, and hugged back.

"Holy hell Andrea where were you all day!? And why do you smell like–" he looked from me to Mike with disbelief on his face.

"No, tell me that you didn't and that you were just with them"

"what? Andie's a bad girl? I never would've guessed in a million years!" Jaime said with a smile plastered on his face. And Tony didn't seem to notice I was even here.

"Tell me it was a one time thing" Vic said with his hand on his forehead.

"So what Vic? What if I want to keep doing this? And what about Mike? It's not like I did this on my own. Although I did ask him because I just needed a break so badly! "

"You let her!?" He said turning his attention to Mike.

"Well what the hell was I supposed to do!? Say no!? Come on Vic, and it's pretty obvious that she needed it!"

out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tony shuffling around as if he was uneasy about this topic of conversation. Believe me Tones I am too.


"Guys can we just fucking go home already? What's so wrong if she smoked some? It's not like you guys haven't tried it and if you haven't, then you've at least gotten wasted a few times. What's the big fucking deal?" Tony said, finally fed up of Vic's Bitchy-ness.

Seeing him get angry was pretty cute...

"Oh what do you know Tony? You get wasted every fucking weekend! I wouldn't be surprised if you had a travel sized bottle of Jack in your bag!" Vic shot at Tony.

Now this was going to far, we're not perfect but you shouldn't point out someone's problems either, that's uncalled for. Now I know I have to step in.

"Woah Vic that's a bit too far, we all have problems ok? We all have our own ways of dealing with them, whether it's healthy or not" I gave him a stern look.

I noticed Tony was looking down, I know he was ashamed. Little does he know that I do the exact same thing.

I ran both my hands through my hair making sure to use my nails. I gave everyone one last look.

"I'm walking home"

I hoisted my bag further up on my shoulder and left. I know that this is my fault.

I put my earbuds on blast and took out my trusty water bottle. I know Vic hates this but honestly, I couldn't care less. I don't care about anything anymore, not even Andrew. So I'll break my promise to him, to Vic and myself and just finally end it all tonight.

Notes

Hey,

Soooo, what did you guys think? Was there enough drama? Too much? I would love to know!

So what about all that smoking Andrea did eh? why do you guys think she was so happy this morning? And what about that argument? What do you think will happen next?