12:43 am
“DAVE!” I yelled over the sound of drilling. I knew he was with the other mechanics somewhere trying to fix the elevator, but he was the only one I knew the name of. I stood up from the floor and screamed again, this time louder: “DAVE!”
“Do you really need to shout?” Mike mumbled irritated. He rubbed the tops of his fingers over his temples.
I ignored his statement. “DAVE!” I shouted again and in the corner of my eyes I saw Mike roll his eyes. Ugh. Idiot.
“YEAH?” I heard Dave yell back. There was some mumbling and then Dave’s head appeared in the hatch. The drilling stopped and my headache spontaneously disappeared.
“What time is it?” I asked and I dreaded the answer. I had lost all sense of time after the batteries of our phones died. Hours could’ve passed, but it also could’ve be just a few minutes.
Dave’s face didn’t show any emotion as he raised his right wrist to look at his watch. “It’s fifteen minutes to one o’ clock.” He said.
“in the morning?” I asked shockingly. Dave nodded. Wow. That would’ve meant we had almost spent twenty-four hours in here. It meant that in seven hours I had to be at work again. It seemed surreal, moving on from this like nothing had happened.
“Is it going to take long before you can get us out of here?” I asked and once again, I dreaded the answer. Would I be fired if I didn’t show up for work? Would they even believe the reason why?
Dave looked around him and then brought his head back to the hatch. “No, not very long. It all depends one this one thing. I’m not going to bore you with the details, but if we’re lucky you’re out of here in an hour. If you’re not, it could easily take another two hours.” He said and he seemed like he didn’t want to have this conversation.
“Okay thanks, Dave.” I said and I smiled at him. He told me no problem and shut the hatch again. I didn't really know what to think of it. One hour. It didn’t seem long anymore compared to the time we had spent in here.
I sat down against the elevator wall and put my arms a little further into Mike’s sweater. He had gave it to me, because I got a little cold. To be honest, I couldn’t believe he wasn’t cold himself. He only wore a tank top. I guess that was a guy thing. Guys were never cold. Or were girls just always cold? It depends on how you look at it.
Believe me, I was happy I would get to go out of here very soon. I wanted to call Rosey and tell her everything was alright, I wanted to lay in my own bed, I wanted to check my Tumblr feed. But there was only one thing that was eating me. It was the topic of conversation I had been postponing to the very end since me and Mike became friendly to each other. That one question I was sure of that neither of us knew the answer to.
What was going to happen after this?
It was so complicated, because there were no social rules for this kind of thing. Of course there had been people trapped in elevators before, but who knew if they were still in contact with each other?
It was extremely difficult to put a mark on us, because what were we? Were we friends? After just one day of knowing each other? Were we more? To be honest I didn’t know for sure anymore. At one hand, we were complete strangers to each other, only knowing each other for a day. At the other hand we had been through an experience together that
I hadn’t been through with anyone else. Because of that we shared a special connection.
I was scared to start the conversation, because I didn’t really know how to put it and I was afraid I was going to say something stupid. I really didn’t know what I wanted to happen, to be honest. Okay, that’s not true. I knew what I wanted to happen, but I didn’t know if it was even possible.
I looked at Mike. He was staring at me with half a grin on his face from the other side of the elevator. It was weird, because he looked exactly the same as the begin of our time together, but I saw him completely different now. I just knew him so well now.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked and I looked away trying to find the words to say what I wanted to say. Luckily we got interrupted when the drilling started again.
I looked back at Mike and waved it away, telling him with this that it was of no importance. He ignored it and gestured for me to come closer so we could talk. I shook my head, but he just sighed and came closer to me.
I rolled my eyes as he sat down in front of me, his face only a few inches from mine. “What are you thinking about?” he said repeating his question.
I sighed. I realized that there was no escape now. This was the moment of truth, whether I liked it or not. “What is going to happen, Mike?” I asked softly and I wondered if he heard it over the drills. “You know…when we get out of here?”
I looked into his eyes and I saw the topic of the conversation sink in with him. “You mean, like, would we still see each other?” he asked.
I nodded not taking my eyes of his. “Would you want to?” he asked carefully. I wondered if he was afraid for my answer. I was definitely afraid for his.
I shrugged and looked away. What was I going to answer to that? Did I want to see him after all this? Yes. Was it a good idea? Definitely not.
“You?” I asked, hoping he would give an answer.
He also shrugged. “I…I want to see you again.” He stuttered. It was a thing that didn’t sooth his voice, but his words made my heart flutter.
I tried to push the school girl feeling away. “It wouldn’t be smart though.” I said. “I mean…what if we don’t get along in real life? Wouldn’t that ruin the memory of this day?”
He remained silent for a while and moved his hand up to my cheek to cup it. I moved my hand towards it to take it away, but I didn’t have the strength to, so I just ended up putting my hand over his. “I don’t think it will. Even if we don’t get along outside of this thing, then I will remember this day the same.” He said. “As a day full of making out, arguing and poker.” He said joking.
I laughed shortly and patted his hand away. Then my face faded to serious again. “No but in all seriousness. It’s most likely going to be very different if we’re out of here.” I said.
The grin that had formed on his face a few seconds ago faded away a little. “Yes, but I’m not going to stop seeing you just because there’s a slight risk that things will be different.” He spoke a little louder now and he took both of my hands in his. “Listen, I want to take you out if we’re out of here. On a proper date. We’ll see how things go.”
I tried my best to look away from him. Everything inside of me was telling me to say yes, but my mind was telling me otherwise. It was telling me, he was going to break my heart, like everyone else in my life.
I slowly shook my head. “I don’t want that.” I said and I tried to keep myself from looking at him. I didn’t want to see get him hurt.
“What…why not?” he asked and he let go of my hands. I couldn’t read the emotion in his voice.
I sighed when I assured myself I wasn’t going to cry. “I can’t do it, Mike.” I said. “I have been in too many horrible relationships. I have simply been hurt too much.”
I felt his hand on my cheek again and he pushed my head in his direction so I was forced to look at him. “I would never hurt you.” He said and the terrible thing was that I believed him. But I also believed my exes when they said that. When they said that, my heart and mind were playing the same tricky game as they were now.
“Maybe not.” I said with force. “But you seem to forget about the fact that you live in California and I live in New York. Besides, you’re away all the time and don’t even forget the fact that you have just broken up with your girlfriend yesterday.” I said these words a little louder. I wanted them to sink in with him.
In his eyes I saw that he knew I was right, but there was also still a fire burning in them. “We’ll figure something out, Amara. Even if we’d just stay friends.” He said and he raised his eyebrow when I didn’t say anything. “You don’t want that either, do you?”
I looked my hands that I had made into fists. I hated doing this so much, but it would spare me a lot of pain in the future. “No, I don’t want that either.” I said sounding weak. “I think it would be better if we’d just go on with our lives and never see each other again. I will never forget this, but we’ll only make things so much harder if we’d try to see each other.”
I saw Mike’s breathing speed up. He was angry. Fuck. I always got angry too when other people were angry.
He smacked his hands on the ground and stood up. “Amara, I can’t believe you! You’re pushing everyone away! You can’t live like that!” he yelled at me.
I stood up too. He wasn’t going to tell me how to live my life. “Yeah, well I’ve kind of lost faith in people after the six-thousandths stab in the back! I’m sorry but it makes sense to me!” I yelled back.
He turned away from me and put his hands on his head. “You know you’re not the only one who gets hurt, right? I have been hurt too! Everyone has! We need to just go on with life!” he yelled and I was pretty sure the mechanics above us had heard us.
I didn’t care though, because I felt rage take over my body. It felt like he betrayed me. I walked over to him and pushed him against his chest. “You can’t tell me what I need to do with my life, Mike! If I want to push people away and live my sad, boring life without risk, then I’ll fucking do so! Thank you very much!” I yelled.
He just nodded at me. “Well, it suddenly looks like I’m the one getting hurt now, not you!” he said and I could hear the hurt in his voice. But I ignored it. I didn’t need to feel sorry for him.
“Mike, you got turned down. Live with it! Man up and try to not act like a fucking child about it!” I said. Why were guys always so childish when it came to not getting what they wanted?
“Okay, whatever.” He said a lot calmer. “Maybe it is a good idea to just never see each other again after this. It would spare me a lot of this useless arguing.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have to put up with your cocky attitude and your way too big ego!” I yelled.
“Good!” he screamed.
“Good!” I screamed back.
We just stared in each other’s eyes filled with anger for a while. The drilling had stopped and it was death quiet in the elevator. The tension was uncomfortable and all I actually wanted was to make things up and lay down in his arms. But I knew I couldn’t do that. I had pushed him away successfully now.
I was the one breaking the eye contact and I sat down at the floor again, facing away from him. I heard him sit down to and the muted conversations of the mechanics slowly faded back in again.
I moved my hands over my face. I never wanted things to end this way. I had hoped he would agree with me and then we would cuddle until we got freed. But this made everything so much harder. I had hurt his feelings and I actually cared about him, so that hurt me too.
But I knew this was the right decision. If this already felt like someone was ripping my heart out, what was I going to feel when I had actually fallen in love with him? It would kill me.
I could already feel myself falling for him and I hated it. Faster and harder than for anyone else. I could already see scenarios in my head in which I would fall for him and he’d just figure out the person I really was and would leave me really soon.
Why he wanted to date me was a mystery for me anyway. He couldn’t be actually be caring about me, right?
I felt a tear roll over my cheek. Why was this happening? In the begin of the evening I wouldn’t ever have thought this would happen. I thought I was just going to a normal concert, then get back to my house and go on with my life.
I had never expected something like this to happen. Yes, I would go back home and go on with my life, but this would definitely affect me. Instead of going to a stupid concert, I had a life changing experience. Something that had changed my perspective forever.
I thought back to the beginning of the evening. Me and Rosey were sitting in my car. Rosey had put a Pierce the Veil CD in the radio of my car and she was singing along to a song called ‘Bulls In The Bronx’. All I could really think about was how funny it would be to walk in the Bronx and a random bull just walked the streets. My own fantasy made me laugh sometimes. At times, I thought I needed to be a writer. I had a lot of fantasy and an incredible love for stories.
When the song ended, Rosey backed down in her seat and let out a breath. “This is my favorite song of them, you know?” she said out of breath. “You know they wrote this for a fan?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah right, lots of artists say that, Rosey.” I said, but I was aware that I had pulled a sensitive string.
“No! I mean it!” she said, indeed a bit offended. “It was a fan that has committed suicide. It’s about her.”
I looked over to her quickly before I focused on the road again. She seemed serious. “Wow” I said while I took a turn.
“You don’t seem to believe me.” Rosey said and she started to stare out of the window.
I let out a small chuckle. She took these things to serious. “Of course I believe you.” I said. “But you gotta admit, you’re a little gullible sometimes.”
She chuckled too. Good, she wasn’t angry with me. “Well, you don’t believe anyone, Amara.”
I raised my eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked offended. I knew pretty good what she meant, though.
She shrugged. “You just push people away whenever they say they care about you. You never believe them. I mean, I can understand with everything you have been through. But you’ll miss out on so many great things.” She said.
It shocked me that she said this. Normally she just let me be, I was too stubborn to change anyway.
“You said yes to going with me to this, but you say no to everything else in your life.” She said softly “Maybe this one time saying yes will make you see that life is worth taking risks for. Maybe this concert will change things for you.”
I shook my head. How could she be so naïve? This positive look on life couldn’t be healthy for her. She was bound to get hurt.
It was very unlikely that I would change because of this concert. Maybe I would even be grumpier after today, because the beep I’d have in my ears of all the noise.
At least, that was when I thought back then. Now, sitting in this elevator, it only made me think that she was right. This concert had changed a lot for me. My opinion about my dad, tattoos, love and secrets had been completely knocked over.
It made me think that maybe if she was right about that part, she was also right about the other part. Maybe I needed to let go of my fear, no matter how hard it was.
But before I could do anything I felt the elevator shake again. I looked over at Mike who looked just as confused as me. The Elevator didn’t stop shaking and then it just moved. It moved down. At first I thought we were falling, because the elevator went slightly too fast, but then it stopped.
I stood up and walked over to the button panel. I was shaking as I pushed the button that would open the doors of the elevator. I was almost afraid for the result.
But then the doors moved open.
We were free.

Notes

heyyyyy,

Okay. I know this is bad. I will probably edit this in the morning so yeah. Some parts will probably be different, but I'm just very tired so that's why things turned out bad. I hear you thinking: oh why don't you just post tomorrow then? Well, I'm too unpatienced XD. Besides, I didn't want to make you guys wait.

omg....this story is coming to an end! After this it will be just one chapter and then it's finished. My first finished story. Damn....

xxxxx

Nicky