10:26 pm
What do you do in an elevator when you don’t have dehydration and starvation to distract you anymore? Well, I can tell you the answer! You get even more bored than you was in the last twenty hours!
And you know what made it worse? The constant noise that was there since a few hours. The mechanics had started to free us and me and Mike could barely speak to each other because of the constant clinging and smashing.
If we did wanted to, we needed to scream into each other’s ear. When it was quiet, we couldn’t really openly talk because every single mechanic could hear us then.
Our other source of entertainment had been taken away from us too. Making out was practically impossible, because at any time now, the roof could collapse and we would be saved. So practically, our privacy was taken away from us now too. A few hours ago we were trapped in a metal box and now it felt like we were trapped in a glass one.
Although Mike did try to be intimate with me a few times, practically because he felt no shame and he knew that I wanted it too, but was just too afraid someone would catch us. Not that I would let him know that I wanted to, I didn’t want to contribute to his already big ego like that. So, I playfully pushed him away every time it headed to making out or more.
The only possible distraction right now was that it was now quiet for a few minutes and we could because of that perfectly hear the radio that the mechanics had turned on. Me and Mike passed our time by lip syncing several pop songs. This time it was my turn and the song that was on the radio was ‘who’s laughing now?’ by Jessie J. It was not my favorite song ever, but it was very fun to lip sync due to the weird rap parts and the kind of bitchy lyrics.
“This song fits you somehow.” Mike said laughing as I was dancing up and down to the song.
I didn’t listen to him and just lip synced the song like I was a real popstar. ‘oh, you think you know me now. Have you forgotten how, you have made me feel when you dragged me spirit down?’ I mimicked and I made this part more dramatic by big arm gestures.
Mike sat on the floor with his legs crossed and giggled at how serious I took this. Which was very serious for some reason.
The song came to the weird rap part and I gave my everything. I heard Mike bust out in laughter. I was happy I made him laugh. Normally I made no one laugh.
As the song ended, I sat down in front of him, breathing heavily. “Try to top that, drummer boy.” I said as though as I could.
“That’s going to be so hard.” He said sarcastically and he laughed.
“Hey! I did my best!” I shouted insulted.
“I saw that.” He said grinning.
“I was pretty good! Maybe I can be a popstar!” I said grinning.
Mike threw his head back in laughter. “You can’t sing, Amara. I heard that clearly when Taylor Swift was on just now.”
“Firstly, it’s impossible to not sing along to T-swizzle okay? And secondly, you don’t need to be able to sing to be a popstar! Lots of popstars are just really good lip-syncers.” I said, still a bit out of breath.
“Well you definitely got the looks.” He said and he winked at me. I shook my head, but couldn’t help but blush.
“Spare me the flirting, Fuentes.” I said, but against my will a smile spread across my face.
“Why exactly not?” he said smiling, but in his eyes I saw that there was a hint of seriousness. He could not really be insecure about me wanting him, right? At the other hand, I was always the one turning him down.
I sighed and decided to let him know that it wasn’t his fault. I pointed to the ceiling of the elevator where we could hear people walk up and down.
His face softened a little. “You’re afraid they suddenly bust through the roof and find out, don’t you?” he said and he raised an eyebrow.
I had the urge to blush and look away, but decided to do otherwise. Maybe a little encouragement couldn’t hurt. “Believe me, I’d rather spend the time we have here making out with you than lip syncing to shitty pop songs.” I whispered and I did my best to sound seductively.
He definitely looked surprised at my sudden change of attitude. Until now the only flirting technique I had used was hard to get. Which worked out fine for me, I loved being chased.
Then a grin crept on his face and he scooped a little closer to me so our faces were really close. “We have been locked in an elevator for twenty hours. Believe me, we deserve a bit of distraction.” He said and shivers went down my spine.
“We deserve to, but we can’t.” I whispered back, but the smile didn’t disappear from his face. Which probably meant that he wasn’t done trying.
“Making out doesn’t make that much sound.” He said and I rolled my eyes at him. Although I knew if he leant in now that I wouldn’t be able to resist.
But he didn’t because shortly after the commercial break stopped and another song started. “Your turn.” I sat smiling as I cut the tension between us by scooping away a little.
‘lighters’ by Bruno Mars and bad meets evil sounded through the crappy sounding radio. I was happy to, I fucking loved this song.
Mike sighed and did nothing during Bruno’s chorus. I shot him an annoyed look, but he waved it away. He made it up to me in a surprising way, though. When Eminem started his rap, Mike didn’t lip sync, but perfectly rapped every word along. “By the time you hear this I will have already spiraled up. I would never do nothing to let you cowards fuck my world up. If I was you, I would duck, or get struck like lightening, fighters keep fighting, put your lighters up, point 'em skyward uh”
My mouth fell open. He was good! And this was even a very difficult song! It was fast and it had a difficult rhythm. But I guess he was good with rhythm anyway.
At the end of the song he laughed at my face. “I know, I’m full of surprises.”
“Is there’s something you can’t do?” I asked as a rhetorical question.
Of course he answered it in a serious way. “Well, I suck at juggling. Jaime tried to teach it to me, but I can barely throw one ball from hand to hand.” He said and he chuckled after.
We heard a few footsteps walk towards the sound of the radio and someone changed the channel. Some rock song was just ending and it made place for a tune that was very familiar to me. ‘Hotel California’ by the eagles played on the radio and my mind immediately wondered to my dad. It was his favorite song. Back when he still acted normal. A memory of me dancing on his feet to this song flashed through my mind. It was a tradition in our family back then to listen to that song around twelve o’ clock on new year’s eve.
All the color drained from my face and Mike seemed to notice. “Are you okay?” he said and he looked worried at me.
“Yeah.” I said with a cracking voice when a wave of nostalgia and sadness got over me. Why couldn’t things stay like that? Now every time I heard this beautiful song, he had ruined it for me.
I felt Mike take my hand and he traced it with his thumb. I looked up to him and he shot me a reassuring smile. I did my best to shoot one back.
He whispered to me: “You want to tell me what’s wrong when the noise starts again?”
I thought about that for a while looking down at our intertwined hands. To be honest, I didn’t want to tell anyone. But what did it matter in here? Maybe ranting about him would stop these stupid dreams about him that I had.
I nodded and he dragged me into his chest and put his arms around me. I leaned in and rested my head on his chest while a memory flashed through my mind that I didn’t really wanted to think about.
It was two weeks ago. I had just gotten used again to the single life and once again promised to myself that I would never fall in love again.
As I was grading the last tests of my sophomore class, I noticed that it was already getting kind of late. It was time to get home. To my depressing empty apartment.
I sighed and put the tests in my bag so I could check them when I was home again. I stood up and walked over to my jacket that I had thrown over a chair in the middle of the classroom. I had stared outside, to the cold night for a while until I realized that I really needed to get home. Otherwise the genitor would lock me up.
I started to walk the empty halls of the school. Luckily the front door was still open. I walked through it and headed to the parking lot. When I was walking towards my car I noticed there was someone standing at the bus stop. I squinted my eyes with my car door in my hands. When I saw the familiar bald head and blue eyes shine in the lights of the streetlights, my heart stopped. His eyes met mine and I saw that he was also checking if it really was me.
Before he could realize that it really was me, I stepped inside my car and drove off as fast as I could. I saw him run after my car and scream: “Amara!” but I just bailed.
How did he dare?! He had bailed on me and Elijah when I was eight and he was five. He had never even let us know that he was still alive. Elijah grew up in ignorance, he grew up knowing that our stepdad was our dad. Although my mom had told him otherwise, he never minded it very much. But me, I had memories of our real dad. And he just let his eight year old daughter go to handle things on our own.
And now he had the nerve to just show up here? Out of nowhere? Giving me a fucking heart attack? He probably didn’t know that I never wanted to see him again. A father that wasn’t there for his children, was not the father for me. I would never forgive him for that.
It took minutes for me to calm down again. I was scared the whole night that he would show up at my door. Or at school again.
I was sincerely afraid for him. He had never physically hurt me, but in my head he had gotten this image of this awful person. That’s what years of neglect and confusion do to you.
I was shaken out of my thoughts by the sound of drilling again. I removed my head from Mike’s chest and looked at him. His eyes were still filled with worry. I knew I needed to tell him now. I couldn’t back out anymore.
I sighed and first planted a small kiss on his lips to let him know I appreciate his worry. I stayed with my head close to his so we didn’t have to shout over the sound. “This song…” I started, trying to come up with the right words. “It reminds me of my dad.”
He looked at me confused when I fell silent. “Did he pass away?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No.” I said. “He disappeared out of mine and my brother’s life when I was eight.”
“Why?” he asked. I knew I wasn’t giving him much information, but I just needed to warm up. This wasn’t normally something I did.
“When my mom and he divorced, he changed a little. He started arguing my mom a lot more and told us that she was an evil woman and stuff.” I started. “There were so much fights that I even got a little scared every week to go to him. At one moment, he stopped paying alimony and my mom got mad at him. She said that he couldn’t see me and my brother anymore until he started paying these bills. A week later he started paying them again, but we never saw him again.” I said.
When I looked to Mike I saw his facial expression change to sad. “I’m so sorry, Amara.” He said and he took my hand again.
I shrugged. “It’s okay. At first I was very sad and angry at my mom. I cried every night. When I grew up, I just got angry at him. I didn’t even want to see him anymore. That was of course when he started contacting us again.”
Mike’s eyes went big. “Do you have contact with him again?”
I shook my head. “I ignored his friend request on Facebook and I blocked him on Instagram. You should’ve seen his accounts, Mike. He looked like a crazy person. Literally his whole account was full with pictures of me and my brother. He wrote under them that he would see us again soon and that we were taken away from him. Which isn’t true! He left us! He posted insults about my mom and my stepdad and I just hated him more for it.”
Mike let out a deep breath and stroke my hand again with his thumb. The gesture was surprisingly soothing. “Maybe he just wants to see you guys again really bad.” He said carefully.
Anger rose up in me. That’s what all people said to me when I told them this story. But they didn’t understand the feeling of neglect he had given me. They didn’t understand how creepy it was to find an entire Instagram account about you.
I quickly shook my head and untangled our hands. “Never mind. This wasn’t a good idea.” I said as I ran my hands through my hair.
Mike looked at me with an annoyed look. “C’mon, Amara. Don’t act so childish. I just wanted to understand that’s all.” He said.
I looked away from him. “I can be childish whenever the fuck I want to, Mike. It’s my ‘tragic’ back story, so I decide when I stop telling it.” I snapped at him. This was exactly why I didn’t tell people things. It meant letting down your guard for a while and be weak. At those moments people took advantage of you.
“So there’s more?” Mike asked and I snapped my head towards him. I shouldn’t have said that.
“Why do you care? Why do you want to know so bad?” I asked him. I stared to him as angry as I could.
His face softened at the other hand. “I already told you a few hours ago. I’m interested in you. You’re mysterious and I want to know things about you.” He said.
For some reason that didn’t sound as good anymore as before. I knew now for sure that telling him wasn’t a good idea. He didn’t care about me. He was just curious.
I scoffed and remained silent after. When Mike realized I wasn’t going to say anything he said: “did I say anything wrong?”
Now I snapped. It was actually very impressive that I held it together for so long. “No. You didn’t, Mike. Please just shut up now!” I yelled.
Anger appeared on his face now too. “Why are you acting like this?! I thought we were passed this stage!”
“With me you’re never going to be passed this stage!” I yelled in his face and the color drained from it. “This is how I am! A girl with trust and anger issues. If you can’t deal with that, then just fuck off!” I felt the tears sting behind my eyes and I hated it. I hated crying when I was angry because people didn’t take people serious when they cried. And I wanted to be taken serious when I was angry.
When Mike spoke again he sounded calm to my surprise. “No, this is not who you are. It’s the mask you keep up to protect you. I’ve seen the real you today. She’s fun, honest, sweet and caring. Don’t build that wall up again.” He said and his words touched me.
I know he was right, but it was just so hard to let it down again.
I sighed and a tear escaped my eye. “I’m sorry.” I said with great effort. Mike responded just by dragging me into a hug. I laid down my head on his chest. “It’s okay.” He whispered to my hair. “Just remember that you’re not the horrible person you think you are. I know that.”
I sighed again and sat down with my back against his chest. “He was here today.” I said. I felt Mike tense up. “What?” he said confused.
“My dad.” I responded. “A few weeks ago he suddenly visited me at my work. I just drove off in shock. I was surprised he would violate my privacy like this. If he wanted to see me all those years, why didn’t he go to my mom to make a compromise? Of course, he was mad at her, but that shouldn’t matter if it can make you see your children again. One has to put their own grudges aside for them. But well, he was there and I drove off. After that I hadn’t seen him anymore. Until tonight. He was in the crowd. He must’ve stalked Rosey’s Facebook account or something to see we would go here. I ran off, climbed in a closet and didn’t dare to come out anymore. I fell asleep and when I woke up it was almost two am. That’s when I got locked up in here.”
Mike remained silent for a while, probably processing everything I had just said. It wasn’t nothing of course. “Why are you so scared to see him? I mean why can’t you just tell him to fuck off?” he asked me.
My hand found a way to his hand again and I took it. For some reason holding his hand made me a little braver. “That’s a good question. I’ve been asking that myself for a long time too.” I said as I turned our hands around to observe the colors on Mike’s hand. “I’m just so afraid for him I guess. All the memories that I have of him are bad ones. Well, almost all. My parents divorced when I was five. Before that he was really cool. A very sweet and fun father. After that all I can remember were fights until he didn’t show up anymore when I was eight. My mom said that he was a good guy. I don’t know why she says that, because all he says about her is bad things, but she says that he was a very good father and that he probably just wants to see us again. But I think he doesn’t deserve it. He should’ve been there when we needed him and he wasn’t. He lost all respect from me.”
Mike placed a kiss on the back of my head and wrapped the arm that I wasn’t holding around my waist. “I’m going to say something and you’re not going to like it.” He said and I promised to myself that I wouldn’t be mad at him no matter what he would say, although I could pretty much figure out what it was. “I think you should talk to him. I know, he doesn’t deserve it and you’ll never have the bond again that you would’ve had if he would’ve been in your life all that time. But it might help you to close things off. So you can go on with your life, you know. Forgive him for your sake, not for his.”
I stayed silent and even though I wanted to punch him for saying these things. The thought of closing things off was appealing to me. I was tired of running away from him all those years.
I got up from Mike’s chest to look him in the eyes, my hand still in his. “Thank you for everything, Mike.” I said softly.
A smile appeared on his face. “You’re welcome.” He said as he brought his lips to mine and this time I let him. This kiss was different than the others we had shared. It was soft, sweet and romantic somehow.
Although I loved this kiss, it also brought a heavy thought in my mind. All this time I thought I would be able to say goodbye to him after we would be saved. Only now I realized how hard it was going to be. I genuinely cared about him and I liked him a lot.
When the noises stopped again I pulled back and laid my head down on his chest again. What the fuck was I supposed to do? We didn’t fit in each other’s lives outside of here! But I already knew that I was going to miss him.
I closed my eyes and fell asleep on his chest due to the exhaustion and the safe feeling of being in Mike’s arms gave me. Even though we could hear another song now on the radio, the melody of Hotel California was still going through my mind. But for some reason it had a safe feeling to it now, instead of sad.

Notes

Heyyyy babes and dudes,

SSSSOOOOOO sorry for not posting in a while! I'm so busy and i know that's not a good excuse but aaaaaarrrggghh I hate school. Believe me, if I could write, update and read all your sweet comments all day, I would. But I actually need to think of the future :( stupid future.

But what did you guys think of it? I defenitely recommend listenening to Hotel California if you haven't yet. Of course you already have, i mean it's pretty well known. But still.

okay and btw I promise I will try to update more okay! I promise I will both update the pact and this story again this week!

xxxxxxxxxx

Nicky