What Hurts The Most

I walked through the empty halls of school to get something to munch on for breakfast. It was far too early to actually be at school but for a person who has nothing better to do, it was the perfect time.

I befriended my study hall teacher freshman year and she had a coffee maker and snacks in her room so almost every morning we chatted about random things until it was time for me to go to class.

When that time came, I dreaded it. My first class of the day was with Tony and his girlfriend, clueless Dani. I had spent my weekend just bummed out about that party and the urge to just go up to Dani and tell her everything was so strong but I kept my mouth shut and tried my best to mind my own business.

Much of the day was spent quiet so when lunch came, my voice was hoarse from not talking all day. I just wasn't in the mood to be pepy with Kat and her friends today.

"What's up with you today?" Kat asked and I shrugged.

"Just not feeling good, that's all"

"Why don't you just go home?" Her friend, Anna said and I simply shook my head.

"No point now, I have one more class to go through." they all just nodded and left me alone.


I gloomily sat in my last class with the ever so hyper and for some reason talkative Jaime.

This teacher wasn't nice enough to let you pick seats at the beginning of the year so I was stuck next to him.

He just talked my ear off the whole class. I felt bad that I was being so cold to him because he was such a nice guy but he was just being annoying today.

"Jaime, any other day, I would love to chat with you in this class but I'm not in the mood for it today, okay?" I said as nicely as I could with my bitter mood.

"Oh, okay. Well, can I ask what's got you so down?" He asked in a sad tone. I felt like I just kicked an innocent puppy.

"It's nothing major, Hime. This weekend just bummed me out." I said with a defeated sigh.

"Well, I'm sure things will work out for you guys." He said and I shook my head.

"You know just as well as I do that it'll never happen." I mumbled and he chuckled to himself.

"Stop being so pessimistic. Look at the bright side of things, He's literally dead inside. He has nothing better to do than toy around with poor girls and keep his dummy of a girlfriend as the hang around. You, now you've got no issues other than him doing the shit he does. You got it better than him in my eyes." He said and I smiled a tiny bit. Jaime was the anti-depressant to anyone for whatever bad mood they were in.

"Thanks Jaime, it still doesn't make me feel that much better about all of it."

"I know but you just needed to know that." He said and turned towards the board.

**

I sat on my couch mindlessly doing my homework when a knock on my door rang through my quiet house. I wasn't in the mood for visitors so I just ignored it.

"I know you're sitting on your couch doing homework, Skye." Tony huffed from the other side of the door. The very last person I wanted to see. I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes as I got up to see what he wanted.

I opened the door slightly to see his dumb perfect smile and it broke my heart more. I had to shake this wretched funk that I was in asap.

"Hey Tony." I said a bit stoically. "What's up?"

"Can I come in?" He asked and I had a hardcore debate but my body spoke for me and moved aside. I stayed quiet as I got him a beer, as I usually did only difference was that it was Monday and not Friday.

He took a sip and eyed me, squinting as if he was pinpointing what was wrong.

"So, I didn't see you at the party for very long." He said generically.

"I was bored so I went home." This wasn't a lie, I did leave because I was bored but I was also done with watching Tony all night be oogled over by a group of girls.

"You could've hung around with me." He said and I just wanted to laugh in his face.

"It was better that I left." I said even though I knew I shouldn't have gone in the first place.

"Oh, well, I just wanted to come by to see if you were doing anything this Saturday." He said with a cough.

"I didn't plan on it. Probably just some grocery shopping, why?"

"Well, Mike, Jaime, Vic and I were gonna go to a concert and since Dani can't go with me because she works all the damn time, I just wanted to know if you wanted to go." He said rapidly, almost as if he was nervous... Tony Perry never gets nervous. Shit, I would know; I've practically stalked the kid my whole life. I know all his little mannerisms and quirks. He never gets nervous.

"I don't know, Tony. You're friends are great and so are concerts but I don't think I want to go anywhere this weekend." I said, as hard as it was to say no, I knew I had to for my own sake.

"Are you sure?" he said while looking at me with his big doe eyes. It was so hard to say no to him. He was hypnotic.

"Just let me think about it, okay? I don't want to say yes and not want to go in the end." I said in compromise. At least it wouldn't be a house party and I would probably enjoy myself.

"Okay, I'll take it." He said with a smile. I swear he was just as oblivious as his girlfriend.

"So how is Dani?" I asked just out of curiosity.

"I'm thinking about breaking up with her." He said so nonchalantly that it surprised me and got me excited at the same time.

"Why?"

"Well, all the stuff you said Friday got me thinking, There really is no reason to make a fool out of her on the weekends. While she is a clueless arm piece for me, I'd rather be single and guilt-free doing the things I do, you know?" I felt like his ramblings were mostly the alcohol speaking but it was interesting to see that my word vomit had some kind of impact.

"Well, I think that's good." I said hesitantly. He still wants to be a player, just a single one.

"All she ever talks about it is all these dumb Instagram and Twitter accounts she finds and it's like I really don't care. All she does is talk about trends and she never pays attention to anything substantial." He said and I was taken back. He never opened up about his feelings about things with me and this just felt weird, I think my facial expressions said that.

"Is something wrong?" He asked and I didn't respond in any way. "I should probably go, I'll see you in class tomorrow." I watched as he got up, tossed his bottle and left my house.

I felt weird now. I wasn't just sad about him I was sad FOR him. He looked really hurt and I didn't understand why he would be. He always said he didn't care much about Danielle. I brushed it off from my mind for the rest of the night. I didn't need another thing to preoccupy my mind.


I finished my homework, had a drink of my own and went to bed, feeling better but still a little sad.

Notes

AHH~ I'm so sorry for not updating in two weeks! I've had a lot of problems recently and I just haven't had the time or good mindset to post this chapter nor finish writing for Disenchanted Lullabye.

If you don't want to read why, have a beautiful day/night and I'll see you later, you lovely human being! <3



Okay, so the reason I haven't updated is because I've been having a lot of eye problems(burning, watery and irritated) and I went to my eye doc/surgeon and he said that I most likely have Grave's Disease which is a type of Thyroid problem that mostly affects my eyes. It's nothing serious as of right now but I have been feeling so shitty for not updating that I toughed out the fiery sensation in my eyes to post for you lovely people. Don't worry, I hope to update on my regular schedule now that I know what's going on with myself.

If you are reading Disenchanted Lullabye, expect a new chapter by Monday at the latest.

I love you all! Have a fabulous day/night and I will see you all soon!
~Becca xx <3