What Hurts The Most

I watched as his mother came back into the room, tears rolling down her face but she smiled.

"He's gonna be okay." she murmured and the small amount of energy that we all had left was put forth to tiny celebratory cheers.

Most of the family left after finding out Jaime would be okay, it was just immediate family and us.

"Mama, what happened?" Vic asked, grasping her hand gently and she winced.

"He.. He overdosed. He was lucky that you called the ambulance so soon or he would have died." She started to cry again and we tried to calm her again.

"You all should go home and get some rest. I'll call you when you can come and see him. Thank you for not just leaving him like that." We all nodded and filed out of the room.

"I wonder how he overdosed, he barely even drinks." Tony said, confused like the rest of us.

"Some people lead double lives." I mumbled and pulled out a tissue to blow my nose.

They looked at me like I was nuts since they thought I barely knew him but I saw him every time I had gone to a party.

"I saw him every time I went out, when Kat would drag me out. He drank a lot and hung around everyone, including the people doing drugs." I said quietly and they looked at me, baffled by my words.

"Skye, I thought you didn't know him?" Mike said and I rolled my eyes.

"I've known him since elementary school. We just never hung out, only talked occasionally." I shrugged, knowing that if I hadn't decided to throw a party Jaime wouldn't be in the hospital right now.

"Wow, I didn't even know. We've been friends for so long and we never even noticed." Vic said, clearly surprised.

"You guys don't pay attention like I do, it's not your fault for not noticing." I said but it didn't sound very comforting.

We arrived at my house and they started to get out of the car and I stopped them.

"I really just want to be alone tonight, if that's alright. Call me when we can go see him." I said and they nodded, Mike and Vic getting into Vic's car, Tony staying behind. I waved them off and started walking to my door.

"You gonna be okay tonight?" Tony asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, if I need anything, I'll call. Goodnight Tony." I said before walking into my house and instantly just feeling sad. I went upstairs and let Jock out to use the bathroom since he hadn't been out in a few hours. I felt bad because he was whining as soon as I walked in the door.

I decided to make a drink and sit outside for a while to clear my head. I watched as my little pup ran around playfully, happy as could be. I lit the small firepit and tried to enjoy the rest of my night.

"I hope you don't mind me showing up. I.. I just didn't want to be alone." Tony said and I patted the chair next to me.

"Want a drink?" I asked pointing to the cooler beside me, still stocked full of beers. He nodded and grabbed one from the icy chest.

We stayed quiet, listening to the sounds of the night. Birds chirping, crickets called out and the faint sound of a coyote could be hear in the far distance.

"Are you okay?" I asked and he shook his head.

"We could've lost him tonight, Skye. I don't know what I would do without him around. He keeps us all together and sane." He sighed. I rubbed his arm as he talked out his feelings, even Jock came up to comfort him.

"He's the sweetest guy I've ever met. I just, I really don't know what I'd do without him." He cried and I let him, not saying a word, just letting him out all his feelings.

"It's okay, Tone, He's alive and he's gonna still be around." I said smiling and he scooted closer to me.

I watched as my boyfriend cried; I was terrible with helping others cope with their feelings, I never knew what to say to make them feel better since it wasn't a thing that was ever done for me.

We sat until the sun started coming up, finally going inside to lie down. We were all mentally and physically exhausted from the past twenty-four hours.

I had watched one friend overdose and end up in the hospital, his family and friends be scared for his life, I watched my friends and boyfriend cry. I, myself, cried and felt like the world was moving far too fast for anything to feel real.. or maybe it felt too real.

The thought of death swirled through my head as I lay in my bed with my boyfriend who was fast asleep. I've thought about it too many times to keep count but never thinking about someone else dying. Life seemed so precious when you thought about someone else's life over your own. A few months ago, I would've been fine with dying but seeing someone so close to me now so close to death, it made me want to appreciate the time I've been given.

I had a better life now than I did then. I need to be happier with what I have now, appreciate what I have and the people I've decided to surround myself with. They care for me like no one really has, I wouldn't forgive myself if I put them through something like this; the fear and sadness, the not knowing.

I finally fell asleep after reevaluating my life and deciding to make some changes. This terrible time gave way to a positive outcome.

Notes

Sorry for taking so long to update! This chapter was giving me hardcore writersblock but I finally got the jump I needed to finish it!

Hope you enjoyed!

Hope you all are doing well and enjoying your soon to come summer breaks! Happy graduation to everyone who is graduation/graduated! Proud of you<3


~Becca xx