The pact

I was nervous to see the guys again. Well actually I was just afraid to see Jaime again. I had met up with just Tony and Mike once after the party. They said Jaime couldn't come because he had a dentist appointment. Bullshit of course. He just didn't want to see me.
I just hoped that this wasn't the end of our friendship.
At three pm me and Casey turned up at Tony's garage. The guys were putting up their instruments. Jaime wasn't there. My heart sank.
''Yo. Does it matter that I brought someone?'' I said while I walked in.
''Yes it does matter very much, Luna.'' Mike said sarcastically as he walked up to me, pushes playfully against my head and then hugs me. ''Of course we don't mind, a friend of you is a friend of ours.''
''Okay great.'' I said. ''This is Casey. My best friend.'' and I gestured to Casey. She waved enthusiastically to the guys.
''I already kinda figured it was Casey. It's not hard to guess after the descriptions you gave of her.'' said Tony and he hugged Casey. ''nice to meet you, Casey.''
Mike hugged her too.
''You talked about me?'' Casey asked me as she let go of Mike. I noticed that she hugged Mike longer than Tony.
''You thought I wouldn't?'' I said and she shrugged.
Me and Casey had a great time with the guys. It turned out that Casey could get along really good with Tony and Mike. Not that it surprised me, Casey could get along with anyone if she tried hard enough.
She could get along best with Mike. They turned out to have a lot in common. They liked the same movies and they had both read all the Harry Potter books ten times.
I suspected that they liked each other and it got me worried. Mike was amazing, but he always cheated on his girlfriends and I didn't wish that on Casey.
An hour went by when Jaime showed up.
''Hey, I suppose you are Jaime. I'm Casey.'' She said and they hugged.
''Nice to meet you.'' Jaime said emotionless.
Casey looked to me and back to Jaime. ''Okay guys, let's go outside for a while.'' she said taking Tony's and Mike's wrist and dragging them outside.
When they were gone a silence fell. Jaime looked to his shoes and it didn't look like he was going to say anything. I wanted to talk to him, I just didn't know where to start.
I let out a sigh and sat at my usual spot against the wall. I put my hand on the spot next to me, gesturing him to come sit next to me. He doubted for a second, but then sat right from me.
He didn't look at me he just stared in front of him.
''I'm so sorry for what happened, Jaime.'' I said. He kept silent. ''But you must know that it isn't you it's me.''
He chuckled and I suddenly realised the clichéness of my statement. I giggled too.
''I didn't mean it like that obviously. I just have a really hard time making romantic connections with people. Probably out of fear. Most girls would've tried to go on a date with you after what happened that night, but I'm not like that. Just the thought of commitment makes me so afraid.''
He looked at me when he heard the sadness in my voice. ''You've never been in a relationship? Never been in love?''
I shook my head no. ''I wanted too. I'm extremely jealous when I look at couples. Or when I hear Casey or so going on dates. But it just isn't for me, not yet at least.''
He looked to the ground again. "I thought it was me.'' he said really soft.
I started patting his arm. ''Of course it isn't. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you, Jaime. You are sweet, funny and handsome, but I'm just not in love with you. I know I have no rights to want something in this situation, but I hope we can still be friends. You were the first real friend I had here and you mean a lot to me. I don't want to lose you.''
He stared at the wall, thinking about what to say. ''Well, I guess being turned down is part of life isn't it?'' He said smiling at me. I sighed out of relieve. Those words were his way of saying that he wouldn't leave me.
''Every girl who turns you down, brings you closer to the love of your life.'' I said smiling back at him.
''Do you really believe that?'' He asked, I could still see the pain in his eyes.
''Yes, And even if it's not true, it wouldn't matter. Love is overrated. Being alone is not that big of a deal.'' I said, it hurt me to say that. I wanted to believe that love was overrated, but I was a hopeless romantic with commitment issues.
''How would you know that?'' Jaime asked me. ''You've never fallen in love. You just said so.''
''I have to believe it's true to not get my hopes up.'' I said without thinking about it.
He shot me a worried look. ''Hope is not necessarily a bad thing. Hope causes a lot of dreams to come reality.''
I smiled at him. ''Jaime, how did you get so intelligent? You're fourteen!''
''Intelligence doesn't come with knowledge, but with life experience and although I'm only fourteen, I've had my fair share of problematic experiences in the past. I guess it comes in use in these kind of moments.''
I put my arms around his neck and we hugged for at least five minutes before we let the others back in.

Me and Casey stayed at the garage until diner. They played a few songs and also told us that they were going to play at junior prom. I was happy for them. They didn't really saw themselves as a 'band' yet, but they were good and they needed to be heard.
Diner at my house was the most awkward experience due to the fact that my mom stopped talking to me since a few days. I guess she didn't know how to act around me anymore, now I was ignoring the fact I was grounded and started dressing like I wanted to.
My mom never liked Casey and she had shown that again during diner, even though she wasn't talking , she made it very clear. She shot my best friend hateful looks.
I was happy diner was over and me and Casey got upstairs and sneaked out of the window. We were going to meet up with Vic at the abandoned bus. For some reason I was more nervous to introduce Casey to Vic then I was when she met Tony, Mike and Jaime. I wanted her to like Vic, I was actually afraid that they wouldn't get along. I had no idea why.
Casey looked confused as I walked with her to the edge of the forest. ''Where the fuck are we going?'' She asked as she suddenly stood still out of confusing.
I laughed, took her wrist and dragged her further. ''We're going to an abandoned bus.''
Casey walked on slowly, but she looked even more confused. ''Why are we meeting this boy in an abandoned bus? Is he going to rape us?''
''I surely don't hope so.''
Casey stood still again and looked at me with fright.
I laughed at her. ''I was kidding, C. We're always meeting up here when Mike and my parents are home.''
We walked on and slowly the trees were getting closer to each other. I walked to the hollow tree in which I hid my flashlight and took it out. It was already getting dark in this part of the forest.
And then the abandoned bus came in view and I walked in followed by Casey.
Vic was sitting in the left row, his legs across both the seats. His dark, curly hair peaked from underneath his beanie and he shot me a bright smile when I walked in.
He stood up and hugged me. I blushes as he kissed me cheek. ''I've got tortilla's and bubble wrap, so it's gonna be a wild party tonight.'' He said.
I giggled. ''Sounds amazing.'' I reached for the two CD's in my backpack. ''Warning by green day or never mind by nirvana?''
''Never mind.'' Said Casey from behind me and she took the blue case out of my hand, took the disc out of the case and put it in the radio. Smells like teen spirit blasted through the bus.
''Casey, this is Vic. Vic, this is Casey.'' I said gesturing to them as I sat down at the seat in front of Vic's. I turned around to face him. Casey came and sat down next to me.
She reached her hand over the seat to Vic and Vic took it and shook it. ''Casey Taylor.''
''Vic Fuentes.''
''Fuentes, is that Spanish?'' Casey asked as she took her hand back.
Vic nodded. ''Yeah, I'm Mexican.''
''You are?'' I asked surprised, suddenly I realised that it was actually quite obvious that Vic and Mike were from Mexico.
''Yeah well, me and Mike were born in San Diego, but my parents were born in Mexico.'' He said laughing at my stupidness. I blushed.
''They're both tanned with dark hair and they're named Fuentes, what the hell did you think they were? Chinese?'' Casey said rolling her eyes.
I punched her arm, but that wasn't a good idea as she just punched me back even harder, causing me to fall on the ground.
Casey busted out in laughing as she reached out a hand for me and helped me up again.
The evening went by pretty good. We talked about music and the differences of America and England while we were stuffing ourselves with tortilla's.
Casey was keeping a close eye on me, I could notice. I think she still kind of hoped that I would drop hints of having a crush on Vic. Which made the whole thing even more uncomfortable. I was afraid to do things that made her think that I liked him as more than friends.

''IT'S CHRISTMAS!'' Casey screamed as she jumped on my bed to wake me up. I groaned and turned around, hoping to still get some sleep, but she grabbed my shoulders and started shaking them wildly.
''Didn't you hear me? It's Christmas!'' she said letting go of my shoulders and jumping on my bed.
''Christmas can wait, now me sleep.'' I said while I dragged the sheet up over my head. It didn't work as the sheet kept sliding of me face, because of Casey's jumps.
''It's only one day a year, Luun. Don't waste any of it.'' She said as she dragged the sheets of my bed.
I surrendered and slowly got up. I had never really liked Christmas. Probably because it was never fun at my house. We both walked down stairs to the living room, where a pathetic excuse for a Christmas tree stood. It didn't had lights and only a little bit of white decoration. My mom didn't like too much colour in the house. Our whole house was white too.
My parents both already sat at the eating table. On the table was bread, eggs, bacon, croissants, jus de orange, sausages and pancakes. All of it in little baskets. The smell of it was amazing.
Normally we just ate cereal in the morning, my mom had an obsession with healthy food so we almost never ate fast-food or other meals with a lot of calories. But Christmas was a special occasion on which my mom ignored her own rule.
''Merry Christmas dear.'' My dad said as me and Casey sat down.
''Merry Christmas dad. '' I said and I smiled at him. He wasn't that bad, he really did try to be a good dad. I felt bad for him because he was married to my mom.
''Merry Christmas Mr. and Mrs. Fall.'' Casey said. My dad said it back, but my mom didn't say anything. She hadn't said much to me since the party, but I hated that she ignored Casey too. She tried so hard to be polite.
''She said something to you, mother.'' I said as I took a croissant out of the basket.
My mom shot me the angry look that I hated so much. ''I heard, Luna, I just find it unusually odd and rude that my own daughter doesn't wish me a merry Christmas and her best friend does.''
I didn't look at her. Even though my confidence had grown, I wouldn't be able to say anything if I looked in her eyes. ''That's no reason not wish her a merry Christmas.''
''That's really hypocrite of you, Luna. You have no right to say that, you didn't wish me a merry Christmas.'' I could hear that she tried to contain herself. I knew that if I went on that it would become an argument, so I stayed silent for the rest of breakfast.
When we were all done eating, we went to sit next to the Christmas tree to do the presents.
My mom had only bought really boring presents. She had gotten my dad socks, he pretended to be happy, and she had gotten me a really ugly sweater. I gave her a weak smile and muttered 'thank you'.
My dad had gotten my mom a little necklace with a small diamond and he had gotten me a new backpack for school. It was made out of jeans fabric and I honestly loved it. It was innocent, so my mom couldn't disapprove of it, but it still fitted my new style. I gave him a big hug.
I had given my mother a scarf, the most neutral gift one could give to someone. She, just like me, muttered a 'thank you'. But she didn't try to smile at me.
For my dad I had bought a new soccer ball. He always liked to play, but he had left his old one in England, so he hadn't played in months.
I gave Casey a beanie. She always said she wanted one, but just couldn't find a good one. I had hoped she liked this one and she did. It was regular grey one, but it looked really good on her bright blue hair.
Then it was time for Casey's present. My mom became impatient and wanted to get up, but my dad had asked her to wait until Casey had given me her present. Honestly, my mom was always whining about being polite, but she was being fucking rude herself too.
''So I hope you like it.'' Casey said as she handed me her present. It was a small square box, judging from the size it was a CD. ''Actually, I know you will.''
I couldn't wait to open it. My first own CD. Till now I had only borrowed CD's at the library or from Mike, Jaime, Tony and Vic.
I ripped of the paper and it revealed a grey cover with a red soldier on the front. The soldier looked like it was put on the grey background with graffiti. Black letters were at the top of the CD saying: 'Linkin park.' and at the bottom letters said: 'Hybrid Theory.'
I let out a small scream and Casey laughed. I turned it around to read the song titles: paper cut, one step closer, with you, points of authority, crawling, runaway, by myself, in the end, a place for my head, forgotten, cure for the itch, pushing me away, my December and high voltage. I knew a few already and I loved them so much.
''Thank you so much, Casey!'' I said, put the CD down and hugged her.
When I pulled away I saw that mom had picked up the CD and was examining it. Her face looked disgusted . ''I don't know if I allow this CD, Luna. It doesn't seem right.''
I know it was only a CD but this was the last drop for me. I exploded. ''You haven't listened to it! You just judge everything! You take away everything in my life that is good! You ruin everything!'' I yelled. All my anger came out with these few words. How did she dare to take away a gift that Casey gave me? Where did she find the right to bully my friends around, when they were trying so hard to act nice to her.
''Luna, I do this to protect you, this kind of music is not good for you.'' she said in her scary contained way.
''No! You do this because you want me to be the perfect daughter, and guess what? I'm not! I'm sick of trying! I want people to like me for me and all you do is trying to change me.''
I stood up from the couch to walk away, but she grabbed my wrist tightly, leaving a shot of pain under my skin. That was gonna be another bruise. ''You're gonna listen to me now.'' she said trying to make her eyes meet mine, but I closed them. ''You say I have ruined everything, but you are now the one ruining Christmas. You've ruined your own reputation by dressing like this, and probably also your own future, because you will never find a job like this. You've ruined everything for yourself and now also for us. You disgust me.''
Tears streamed down my face. The worst wasn't even the words, even though they hurt, I had heard them before. The worst was the shame. Casey had to see me like this, had to see my mother like this and I never wanted anyone to.
My mother's grip around my wrist loosened and I grabbed the opportunity to take my arm back and run out of the front door of the house.
I ran for what felt like hours and I didn't see where I was going. Somewhere I noticed a car almost hitting me, but I didn't even care anymore. I didn't care about people looking at me, I didn't care about them screaming at me to look out, I didn't care about my own life.
When I finally stopped, I noticed that I was close to the abandoned bus, and ran the last few miles to the bus. I stepped in and sat down at my usual seat. I started crying uncontrollably, using the last bit of energy that was still inside my body.
When I stopped the rays of sunshine shining through the roof of the bus had changed direction. It was afternoon. It didn't matter, my mom wouldn't be looking for me anyway.
The last words she had said were still going through my mind, consuming every bit of my memory, like there was nothing but her words. Although I didn't agree with her opinion, I did believe the things she said about me. They dragged me down, they let me believe I wasn't good enough. I was self-conscious because of it, I never felt good enough.
The last few months were different. Vic, Mike, Jaime and Tony had built up my confidence. For once in my life I wasn't numb, but happy. I didn't feel like just a body without a soul, I didn't feel irrelevant. I felt alive, happy.
But now my mom had ruined that with a few words. All the walls I had slowly built up these last months, tumbled down, leaving damage through my whole body.
I reached inside my pocket were I left a small silver blade. I had never done anything with it. I always carried it around, but my hope always won it from my fear. Now I knew that I wasn't gonna escape my faith. I would always feel like this. Even if I felt happy in a few days again, my mom would ruin it for me again anyway.
I put the silver blade to my wrist and felt the cold metal against my skin. I doubted for a second of two. Casey and Vic were going to be disappointed in me, but they felt so far away. They didn't really need to know anyway. They were like a ropes I hung on to, but my hands were hurting too much to keep hanging.
I put force on the blade and made a horizontal cut in my wrist. There was no blood, no mark. I needed to cut deeper. Pain spread through my wrist as I put more force on the blade, making a second cut. A little bit of blood appeared in the cut, but it was hardly dripping.
Then I made a faster, stronger movement across my wrist. Pain shot through my arm, but it didn't feel bad. Adrenaline rushed through my body and blood started to rush over my arm, dripping on the floor, leaving red spots on the seat.
I made another cut, and another, and another. I loved the painful feeling more with every cut, but the most I liked the blood, the deep red substance that spread with curling movements over my arm.
By the time my underarm was covered in blood, I put the little blade back in my pocket, leaned back in the seat and closed my eyes. I didn't really know where to put my arm, afraid to stain my clothes.
''Luna?'' I heard a familiar voice say and I looked up to see Vic standing in the door opening of the bus. I tried to hide my arm, but he already walked towards me, seeing my red arm.
He stood there for a while staring at it, tears welling up in his eyes. He blinked them away as he took of his plaid, button up shirt and started cleaning my arm with it. I wanted to protest, but he just put up his hand gesturing me to stay silent.
when he discovered that the cuts were to deep and didn't stop bleeding, he ripped the sleeve of the shirt he was cleaning my arm with and wrapped it tightly around my wrist. luckily, it wasn't the wrist which my mom had grabbed.
As he was done he went to sit next to me and grabbed my hand. He was silent for a while and I was happy he was. I didn't want to hear him say he was disappointed.
He shouldn't have come. I mean I was happy he was here with me, but I felt like I was making his addiction worse.
''run.'' he eventually said.
''Run?'' I said confused.
''Run, now you still can. I don't know if you were planning on doing this more often, but please don't now you can still get away. It's not worth it in the long run, I promise.''
I didn't reply. I didn't want to promise him to not do it again. I knew he was right, but I wanted to leave my options open. ''I'm sorry.'' I said tears falling from my eyes again.
''Don't be.'' He said as he started to making circles with his thumb on the hand he was holding. ''Don't ever be.''
''I made it worse for you. I made it worse for everyone, my mom was right. I ruin everything. I'm disgusting.'' I hoped he didn't feel like I was whining, exaggerating, because I really felt that way. I started sobbing again.
Vic let go of my hand and placed his on the side of my face, forcing me to look at him. ''Don't ever say that. If you do anything, then it is making me better. I mean, I can't speak in name of everyone you know, although I'm sure you don't make things worse for them either. But, since you've been here everything has become better for me. I feel like I can trust you, like I can depend on you and I haven't felt like that in a long time. You make me feel like I'm worth living, like I'm worth having a friend.''
His brown eyes stared into mine and I stopped breathing. I was so thankful he had come here and told this to me, even though I was ashamed he found out.
''Don't ever let anyone, including your mom, tell you that you're a bad person, because you aren't. You're an incredible person.'' he said giving me a small smile.
He had silent the voice of my mom in my head by saying this. How could he have such an effect on me? I suddenly felt safe.
For a moment my eyes went to his lips, wanting to kiss him, but I looked up again soon. I smiled back at him. ''Thank you, Vic.''
''No, thank you.'' he said pulling me in a hug.
The hours crept on as we were sitting there, while Vic was bringing back the life in me again.

Notes

heyeyyy,

Sorry if this is really long XD is it any good?
btw guys, you guys should really check out the songs that I mention in the story of that I use as titles! They're really good and give you a better view on the story.

Do I have any Lunic shippers here? ;) I shurely am one. I already know what the next chapter is gonna be called, 'angel eyes'. So if you wanna know what the next chapter will be about, check out the song: New years day ft. Chris motionless- angel eyes.

So subscribe, comment and rate! but only if you want to ;)

xxxx
Nicky