The pact

My head felt like it was made of stone. For a moment I didn't even know where I was. I tried to open my eyes but the minimal light that was in the room, was already too much for my eyes. I was definitely in a bed, because the surface underneath me felt soft. I turned around to put my face in the pillow. The sound of the blankets felt like nails going over a chalkboard. When my face was in my pillow, I slowly opened my eyes. I could see the familiar pink flower print of my own pillow. I was at home.
I just lay there for a while trying to remember the day before. Flashes came back to me.
Jessie hurting me, Jaime comforting me, party, Jaime kissing me... My heart skipped a beat thinking about that last thing. I didn't want to think about it.
Okay, the other memories were more blurry. Taking tequila shots with Mike, dancing with strangers, trembling up the stairs, me kissing Vic...
I stiffened. Did I actually do that? Was I really that drunk? What do I remember of it?
I remember that he was holding my back, I remember that he smelt really good, I remember that he kissed me back...I remember liking it...
This kiss got me so confused. The con about my kiss with Jaime was that at least I knew how I felt about him. And although it hurt him, at least it was clear.
The kiss with Vic got me questioning everything. I only liked him as a friend so why did I like kissing him? Was I attracted to him?
I didn't want to think about these things, but I knew I had to. I was always confused about my feelings for other people. But I knew from my past 'crushes' that I turned out to be not in love at all. I always wished that I was, like with Jaime, but it never happened.
But the difference was that I didn't want to be in love with Vic. Would that make a difference?
I decided that I needed to get up and open my eyes so I slowly turned around to face the ceiling, but even the slow movements hurt my ears. I slowly opened my eyes and quickly put my hands in front of my eyes to block the ray of sun light that was shining inside my room.
I sat up and took my hand away. When I didn't open my eyes too wide, it was bearable. Was this what a hangover felt like? I decided that I would never drink again. It wasn't worth this nightmare.
I looked down at my clothes, I was still wearing my clothes I wore yesterday to the party. An old plaid button up shirt from my dad with a white tank top underneath it and skinny jeans. I must've gone straight to bed yesterday night after I got home. How did I even get home?
I pulled up the sleeve of my shirt. Dark blue bruises covered my left arm. Mom. She must've discovered me coming home and being mad at me. I tried to remember memories of my mom grabbing my arm and yelling at me for being drunk, but I couldn't remember anything.
Ugh, that meant that I had to climb out of the window to go to my appointment with Vic.
Vic. Shivers went through my spine.
I stood up from the bed and walked towards my closet. The content of my closet had changed quite a lot since six months ago. The colours of my clothes had gotten darker over the months and mostly contained skinny jeans, band shirts and plaid shirts. I liked my new style, it made me feel badass. I looked and am kind of innocent, but my new style made me look a little more confident. Probably, because it made me feel more confident.
My mom didn't like it of course, but I didn't care anymore. The more she tried to keep me caged, the more I wanted to break free.
I chose a sweater with the blink 182 logo and black skinny jeans. I took out my brown combat boots out of the corner of my room and climbed out of the window. When I come back today I will probably be grounded or something, not that I listened to that. My mom needed to let me go. I was almost 17.
I started walking towards the Fuentes' house. I knew the way like I knew my own room. I had spent more time their than in my own house. At least two times a week for Vic and at least one time a week for Mike. The rest of the days I was at Jaime's or Tony's.
I knocked on the door and Mr. Fuentes let me in. Vic's parents also agreed to not tell Mike about the fact that I'm friends with Vic. They didn't like to keep it from their youngest son, but they also agreed that it was for the best.
When I walked upstairs the nerves started to come up. What? Why was I nervous? It was just Vic. I knew him so well and he knew me so well. Why was I nervous to see him? Would he also be nervous after what happened last night?
My last question was answered when I entered his room. He laid back on his bed, listening to 'warning' by green day. ''Hey Luna'' he said as he stood up to give me a hug. ''Nice sweater'' he said. He didn't look nervous at all.
I blushed. ''Thanks'' I said really soft.
''Are you okay?'' he asked me raising an eyebrow.
''Yeah, I'm alright.'' I lied.
He shrugged and sat back down on the bed. I couldn't help but notice that he looked cute today. He wore a black beanie and a plaid shirt over a black shirt. It looked good on him...wait. Stop this Luna! What the hell are you doing.
I rubbed over my still aching head and sat down next to him. He looked at me. ''Are you hangover?'' he laughed like it surprised him.
I laughed, but I stopped because it hurt. ''Maybe a little.'' I said and he started laughing harder.
''I thought you didn't drink.'' he said while the second song of the green day album started to play, 'blood, sex and booze.' Ironic.
''Normally I don't, but tonight was an exception. Jessie threatened me at school and at the party Jaime kissed me and told me he was in love with me. I had to break his heart.''
Although I didn't really want to think about it. Talking about it with Vic did make me feel better.
''Oh, poor Jaime.'' He said and stroking my right shoulder. ''I would get wasted too if I had to something like that, but it's not your fault you know that, right?''
I sighed and looked to my feet. ''Yeah, I know. But it still hurts, I don't want to hurt him.''
''Give him a little time, he'll get over it.'' he said. I looked at him and a smile grew over his face. ''You were really drunk, weren't you?''
I took a pillow of his bed and hit him with it. ''Stop. bullying. me.'' I said.
He laughed and held his hands in front of his face to protect it.
''Yeah, I was really drunk.'' I admitted as I put down the pillow and he put his hands away from his face. ''At least I wasn't as drunk as Mike on his 16th birthday party, but I was pretty drunk. I was even drunk enough to kiss you, come on.'' I laughed to make it less serious.
I looked over to Vic to see his reaction and his expression surprised me. He looked confused. ''Luna...We didn't kiss last night.''
What was he talking about? ''What? Yes we did, I walked up to your room and I was drunk and we kissed. You don't remember that?''
His face became even more confused. ''Luna, I wasn't even home last night. I decided last minute to go visit my grandma.'' he said.
I looked at him silently for a while. ''Are you serious or are you just shitting me?'' I asked.
He chuckled. ''Dead serious. I thought only drugs caused hallucinations. Or did you do that too?''
I shook my head. What was happening? Why did I remember it if it never happened? Then it got to me and I sighed. ''I think I dreamed it. It was the last thing I remembered of that night anyway. It seemed so real.'' I shook my head in disbelief.
He grinned. ''And? Was I any good?''
I took out the pillow again and started beating him again.
We didn't talk about it anymore that day, but it still had me confused. Why did it feel so real? Why did I even dream about kissing Vic? Did it mean anything? Did it mean that I had hidden feelings for him?
I wanted to know the answers and the person I used to go to for advice, was now part of the problem so that sucked even more.

''LUNA!!!!'' Casey screamed as she ran towards me putting her arms around me. It felt so good to have her in my arms again. To smell her familiar sent, to have her in my life again.
As we let go of each other we noticed each other crying and we started laughing.
''I've missed you so much, babe.'' I said while I started hugging her again.
''You don't know how much I've missed you.'' she said and I put my face into her blue hair. ''By the way, you look so different! It suits you! How come the change?'' and she gestured to my appearance.
''Long story. Wait for the movie.'' I said and we started walking out of the airport.
On the way back to my home I told her everything what had happened the night of the party. I told her about Jaime. ''I told you it was dangerous to befriend boys with your looks. I knew one of them would fall in love with you. I told you so, I was right.'' I sighed, it was typically Casey to make a joke out of it.
Then I told her about the drinking. ''WHAT?!'' She said hysterically laughing. ''WHAT?! Six months without me and I miss all the fun! In the six months I didn't see you, you get your first kiss, stand up to your mom, drink a bottle of tequila, change your wardrobe into something more flattering and suddenly listen to punk music. What happened to you?''
She was right, I realised. I had changed so much since the day I came here. But apart from all the drama that was occurring, I was happy. My life had changed for the better, I had become more myself.
''I just wanted to start over when I moved here.'' I said. ''I have become myself now. I love my new life.''
Casey smiled to me. ''And do I still fit into your new more interesting life?'' She asked a little cautious.
I took her hand into mine. ''Don't you act stupid, of course you do. Whatever happens, you'll remain my best friend. You have to put up with me for another while.''
She rolled her eyes. ''How romantic of you.'' she said sarcastically. She tried to conceal that she was truly scared of losing me, I noticed.
After I told her about my kiss with Vic. Well, The kiss I dreamed about, apparently.
''That is so weird!'' she said looking as confused as I was. ''And you truly thought it was real?''
''Well, all my memories of that night were a little blurry because of the alcohol and so was this one, but yes, it did feel extremely real. I can even remember what it felt like.'' I said.
''Did it feel like you want to do it again?'' She asked playfully poking her elbow into my arm.
I blushed. ''No, I mean, I don't know...I...'' I looked to the ground not wanting to see her reaction.
''Oh my god Luna!!'' she screamed and she started jumping up and down. ''You have a crush!'' people on the street turned around to look at us, but as usual, Casey couldn't care less about it. She was used to it, because of her blue hair and the fact that she wore black lipstick a lot.
''Ssssst!'' I hissed to her and gestured to make her calm down. ''I don't know okay? It's just all weird and he is a really good friend of mine. I'm just not sure.''
She stopped jumping and she put her arms over each other. She looked like an angry toddler. ''You are never sure.'' Then her expression turned to excited again. ''What if we start out with looking up what your dream means? You know how dreams always have a meaning? Maybe it'll give you more clarity.''
I hadn't thought about that yet. That was actually a good start. ''Wow Casey, that's a good idea! But how are we going to do that?''
She put her finger to her chin to think. ''Uhm. Is there a library near?''
''Yeah there's one a couple of blocks away'' I said and we started walking towards to it.
I had to slow down Casey a few times because she wanted to run to it, even though she didn't know the way to the library.
Eventually we came across the large modern building with 'San Diego library'. I had been here a couple of times with Vic to do home work.
We walked in and to our left were a few computers on which you could search the books you needed. ''Wow fancy. Library with computers.'' Casey said as I walked to the nearest computer.
I typed in 'dreams' in the search bars and a few search options appeared. The first few options were novels with 'dreams' in the title, but the fifth option was a book called: 'dreams and their meaning'.
Casey pointed to that option. ''That one. We need to have that one.''
I clicked on it and it said that it was on the third floor in bookcase 5a on shelf 3. We took the elevator to the third floor and searched for the right book case. And there it was. 'Dreams and their meaning by Max Jackson.' I took it from the shelf and turned it around to read the back. It said that the author was an expert on dreams and wrote many books about it. So it was to be trusted.
We took the book to a table and sat down. I opened the book and it started with a list of keywords. I went to the letter K and found the word 'kiss'. It was on page 73.
As I turned the pages I felt myself become nervous. Why was I nervous? What did it matter what a book said? My feelings were my feelings. But the nerves didn't disappear.
I found page 73 and this was what it said:

Dreaming about other people kissing means you interfering too much into their relationship and you need to take distance.
Dreaming about a kiss on the cheek means a strong on friendship based connection with that person.
Dreaming about a kiss in the neck means that your mind and emotions will have harmony.
Dreaming about a kiss on the hand stands for respect and doing well.

Dreams about kissing someone you know occur a lot and people often wonder what they mean. Kissing someone on the mouth usually means that you've reached a goal in life that will help you from moving further in your life. Kissing a good friend means a feeling of respect and appreciation for this person. It doesn't necessarily have to mean you have romantic feelings for this person.

I let out the breath I was holding for the time we were reading the page. I wasn't in love with Vic, thank god. It would've changed everything. This meant I could move on to the way things were before that night.
Right?
''Ugh, I really hoped it would say that you had a crush on him! So I could set you up!'' said Casey and she sat back in her chair.
I was just happy that this was the outcome. It was all true, I had reached a goal in my life, I had become myself. And I did have a lot of respect and appreciation for Vic. I respected him for being so strong when it was so hard for him and I appreciated him for being an amazing friend.
''Okay, now I want to meet those mysterious friends of you.'' Casey said and she dragged me out of the library.

Notes

sorry if I update too much XD I'm just really into this story at the moment.

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xxx
Nicky