I'll be the Brightest, You'll See

"You're breaking up with me?" I repeated, saying the words out loud seemed like the only way to solidify the fact that Alex was breaking up with me.

"Yeah, I can't really do this anymore. I know you still love Vic, why on earth would I want to be with someone who's still in love with their ex? I've been down the road before and I got really hurt. It was a mistake and I'm sorry." Alex explained to me. "I do, however wanna be your friend. I feel like that was all we were destained to be." He told me. It felt so patronising since he was so sure we should have a relationship. In fact he instigated this whole charade, this is so strange.

"Okay, you do whatever you want." I shook my head and then slammed my door shut. Who the Hell does he think he is? He literally just came here and told me that as if it was the most casual thing in the world.

After the week I've been having you'd think he had a little bit more respect for me, but no. "Is he gone?" I heard a voice call out from the bedroom. Okay I'm a little grateful he broke up with me, it means I don't need to hide my secret anymore. I walked back into the bedroom and slid open the closet door, revealing Vic in his underwear looking extremely pissed off and cold.

"He broke up with me." I said emotionlessly, which made Vic perk up a little. "It doesn't change anything here." I looked at him sternly.

"Who said I wanted this to change?" He grinned at me, everything between us became so animalistic. A part of me was happy with that, another part of me wondered how we got to this.

He stepped out of the closet and pushed me backwards until I fell onto the bed, I stared up at him as he stood, head cocked to the side. I leaned on my elbows and gave him a teasing look. "What do you want then?" I asked, biting my lip.

He didn't say a word, we both knew where it was going and we both loved every second of it.

That's how things have been between us since Aria passed away, both of us struggled to process it like mature adults so we began having a secret affair. I guess in some sense people didn't really understand my relationship between me and Alex anyway.

Passion is always something we try to deny ourselves, true passion that is. With Vic it feels like I'm on fire and he's the only thing that will stop me from burning out completely. I guess in saying that, he gives me hope. But for some strange reason I can't let myself give in to him and be his girlfriend again. That's when everything starts to become real again and I can't do that.

I started at Vic as he undressed me, no matter how many times we have done this it feels so sacred to me. The touch of his finger tips on my skin as he pulled my shorts off, the look in his eyes as he inspected every inch of my flesh. As much as I wanted our love to be real again, this is what it has to be.

The sex was always incredible, somehow every single time just seemed to get better and better. We both lay side by side, panting and trying to catch our breath. I glanced over to Vic and noticed him staring at the ceiling. "What's wrong?" I asked him. He didn't stop looking at it.

"I can't do this anymore." He screwed his face up. I sat up and stared down at him.

"What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow and mirror the expression on his face. He sat up and faced me.

"This isn't healthy, we either need to stop doing this or be a couple again." He sighed, looking me straight in the eyes.

"You only said that you don't wanna change anything to have sex with me." I frowned. He groaned and hung his head low.

"If that was my intention then I'd be leaving now without a word." He said into his hands.

"Okay good point but still, you do realise this is shitty for me. I need this." I said motioning between us.

"Then be my girlfriend again!" He exclaimed.

"I can't." I said looking away, tying to hide my face from him.

"Why?" He demanded, a part of me really liked the dominant side of Vic but only when it suited me.

"If I'm with you then it's just a constant reminder of the things that went wrong and it hurts too much." I said to him. I finally looked at him and his face was covered in the most angriest expression I've ever seen.

"You know what, I'll make it fucking easy for you Scarlett." He mumbled, standing up and collecting his clothes from the floor and began to put them on. "The second you decided that you wanted to have this affair and then broke it apart because it suited you was the second you fucking lost me. I'm not gonna do this with you anymore." He paused to pull his shirt on. "In fact the only real reason we had a future was because we had a kid together but hey, I guess I'm free now." He button his jeans up and stormed out.

I didn't even get time to process what he said before he left. "Are you fucking serious!?!??" I shouted to myself, throwing myself down into the pillow. I screamed so loudly into the pillow that I was pretty sure my lungs were going to fall out. I just wish my mind worked the way it should, even though I haven't been taking medication for awhile, I still feel like maybe there is something mentally unstable about me.

My phone buzzing on the bedside table brought me back to reality, I sat up and picked it up. I seen I had a new text from an unknown number and my heart began to race.

Now they're both gone, it's my turn Scarlett.

I stared at the words on the screen and I felt like screaming. I threw my phone off the wall and for the second time in a month I watched another phone shatter into pieces. I'm never leaving this apartment again.

Notes

Sad but rad