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I need you, I love you

Hospital for Souls

I woke up with the sound of beeping next to me, my head stinging. What the hell? Where am I? And better yet what am I doing her? I looked up at the bright artificial light and white ceiling. Man it was so hot in here. I chucked my blanket across the room. I still had no idea where I was and started to panic until I heard someones voice, it was unfamiliar.

"She's awake." I sat up quickly, God my head hurt. I started looking around the room to see if I could find out where I was or too see what I was doing here. Okay so theres a doctor this can only mean one thing, I did it again.

The whole room started spinning, it was like my nightmare last night but my nightmare was a lot darker than this bright illumination amd he was there. The person I hated and wanted them to die. I didn't care how but I couldn't stand them. He had put me through so much. Thankfully though Toby wasn't here. I fucking hated him but would you blame me though for everything hes done to me and my family, friends too.

The bastard raped me. He told me he loved me everyday and he fucking raped me. He beat me for the last year of the relationship. He got my dad into drugs. It was my dads own doing that he went on to stonger things, that was the one thing I couldn't blame Toby for. "Careful now." I heard the same voice. "Someone wants to see you." It was a lady this time, probably a nurse I couldn't tell.

"Charz, I'm sorry I left you. This is all my fault." Why was Vic apologising to me when it wasn't his fault, it was mine. Mine for being fat, ugly, stupid EVERYTHING, everything was my fault. I was the one who pushed him away and kicked him out. I was the one who yelled at him for saying the L word. I knew that's what he felt for me but I couldn't let him say it. I didn't deserve, I don't deserve him.

"I-I'm s-sorry," I stuttered as tears began to fall. "I-I just wanted it to end." Tears started rolling down my cheeks even quicker and Vic walked further towards me. "I'm so, so sorry, I-I" He cut me off before I could say anymore.

"I'm just glad you're still here, I'm glad Jenna found you, if not God knows what could of happened. I need you Char bear." He tried his best to smile and wiped away a few of my tears.

"Hey Char-char." I looked up to see Jaime with his best friend, Jenna. God they made such a good couple. Why didn't they just go for it. They suited eachother, looks and personality wise. They were perfect for each other. They got each other.

"I-I'm so-o sorry Jen, you, you weren't s-supposed to find me. I feel so bad. I-I'm so sorry." More tears fell as I tried to calm myself with Vic rubbing his hand across my back. "It'll be okay." He whispered.

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” She smiled, her smile lit the room. She was literally perfect not too skinny, perfect figure. Her eyes were beautiful and wasn’t hard to look at why Jaime hadn’t asked to go out I shall never know silly boy. I wondered though how she could keep calm how she did what must have been a few days ago because Vic told me he hadn’t left the hospital, I could tell though because he looked really rough, I felt bad for putting him through this again, I need to leave him I can’t keep doing this to him no matter what he says.

It wasn’t right that I kept putting him through this it wasn’t fair on him, his friends or his fans. I always realised that it was never going to work. I know it isn’t going to be easy to tell him easy but I have to.

“Vic we need to talk.” Here goes nothing.