The morning sun woke me before I was ready, blinding me brightly. I looked to my left, Mike's spot was empty, today was the day. I halted up and threw myself out of bed, the apartment looked scarily empty as I sprinted through the hallway.

It was eerily quiet until I finally reached the dining room where Vic and Mike sat whispering. My heart jumped and I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Mike looked at me, and smiled softly, patting his lap. I practically threw myself in his lap, snaking my arms around his neck and squeezing him to me.

"What's going on?" He chuckled.
"I thought you left me without saying bye," I kissed his cheek.
"I should have since you kept me up all night," He whispered into my ear.

I shuddered and kissed his neck softly, Vic cleared his throat.

"How much longer do I have with him?" I looked at Vic.
"Like a half hour?" He looked at Mike and shrugged.

Mike nodded and stood up leading me into his bedroom. He fished his packed full suitcase and duffle-bag from the closet and set it next to the door. He went searching through his underwear drawer, taking out a small stack of bills and walking toward me.

"I know there's money in our account, but here's this in case of an emergency okay?" He opened my hand and counted out five thousand dollars in five stacks of hundreds.
"Mike I don't want this," I looked up at him and shoved my hand back toward him.
"Brook just take it, only use it if you need it," He said quietly and tucked the money into my jewelry box.
"Mike that is your money, you worked hard for it, go buy yourself something," I headed toward my jewelry box.
"Brooklyn stop being so difficult, shit. I am the one who told you not to get a job, because I want to take care of you, so let me do it."

I nodded and wrapped my arms around myself. I bit my lip and looked at my beautiful boyfriend, I could feel the sadness radiating off my body. But the excitement in Mike's eyes reassured me this would be good for him, maybe it would be good for me too. Maybe we could both get off the blow.

He fished a small white baggy from his pocket and set it on the nightstand, he beckoned me over and he took out his key, covering the tip and held it out to me. I snorted it quicker than he could pull the key away, he followed suit and did the same. He kissed me roughly pulling me against him tightly and running his hands down my back to my ass, squeezing.

"Mike!" Vic called from his room, "we have like ten minutes to get to Jaime's so let's go!"

I looked at him, "I need a puppy or a kid or a job. Something to fill the emptiness when you're not here," I let the tears begin to roll down my face.
"I think this time it'll be different Brooks, I think we have a lot of opportunities to get clean this tour," He tucked some hair behind my ear and kissed my lips softly.
"Mike, are we always honest with each other?"
"I would like to think so," He said, his pupils alerted me, he was soaring.
"I don't want to get clean," I admitted.

He looked at me sadly and set the baggy back on the nightstand before kissing me deeply one more time and heading toward the door with his suitcase and duffle-bag. He was the first down the stairs, and Vic finally emerged from his room also with a suitcase and duffle.

He hugged me tightly, kissing my forehead.

"Be careful Brookie, no one's here to save you," He warned me.
"By Vic, have fun and bring my boyfriend back safely," I attempted a smile.

He nodded and shut the door after he exited. I locked the handle lock and the deadbolt looking around the apartment before sinking to the floor. I was alone. Again. I stood up and took a deep breath, searching for my phone to text Steph. I glanced around the room and my eyes landed on the small baggy, I quickly scrambled to hide it and finally placed the phone call.

Steph answered and promised she'd be over, she'd bring Vic's girlfriend Cara too so we could all eat pizza and cry together. I sighed, I was relieved, I would have to slow it down with the coke. I showered and got ready, trying to look well put together for our hangout session. But my heart was aching, I missed my amazing boyfriend already.

Mike and I together was always a huge storm of nuisance. But there was no Brooklyn without Mike, and virtually no Mike without Brooklyn. It had been that way since we had made our relationship official. We were a packaged deal. It had been like that for years.

I finished my make-up, looking at my hollowed nearly sleep-less eyes and felt sick to my stomach. My conscience was telling me to go to rehab, but my brain was telling me I only lived once.