I Introduce The Selfish Machine

I was laying down on the little bed in our doctor's office, get the cold gel rubbed on my stomach as Tony chatted with our doctor.
"What an interesting job you have, Tony. I imagine you like to travel a lot?" Dr. Cox said.
"Yeah, I love traveling. So does Piper." Tony grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Which reminds me, Piper travels with us a lot. Is she going to be able to do that anymore or will she have to stay in San Diego while I travel?"
"She can travel with you for a while, but once she gets closer to her due that, she'll have to stay in case she goes into labor." Dr. Cox turned to me. "Are you ready, Piper?"
I took a deep breath. "As I'll ever be."
Now's the time where I tell you that I know absolutely nothing about any of this technology. He pressed the scanner thing against my stomach and started moving it around my stomach. The sound of, I guess the heartbeat?, was projecting out of the little screen where we were searching for peanut.
We finally found peanut, who was bigger than I think we all expected. Dr. Cox gasped, and I felt fear rush through my body.
"My goodness..." He whispered.
Is something wrong with my baby? Is something wrong with my peanut?
"What's wrong?" Tony said before I could. I felt my eyes start to water, oh my gosh, something's wrong with my precious baby. My sweet, sweet peanut.
"Absolutely nothing. The baby is perfectly healthy, you're just much farther along than I expected, Piper." Dr. Cox said, staring at the screen. I exhaled the breath I was holding after I heard him whisper. Peanut is okay. Oh, that makes me happy. "You're 11 weeks and 1 day."
My jaw dropped. "That's almost three months. How did I go three months without knowing?" I asked, utterly confused.
"I'm not sure, but since you said your periods were rare, it doesn't surprise me much. I don't even have to point the baby out to you, you can see it perfectly fine."
He was right. Peanut has a very large head and small body, but peanut is perfect regardless. For once in my life, I felt emotional while looking at a sonogram of a baby. Of my baby. Maybe because it is my own child, but it makes me happy, seeing peanut just chilling in my uterus. Peanut is literally a fetus right now, and it's the cutest thing. That's my baby.
I rolled my head over to look at Tony, who had both my hand, which was clutched in his, and his other hand up to his face, covering the jaw drop I know he had. He moved his hand and smiled at me. I've only ever seen him smile like that about three times since we've been together, and I know that smile means he's just so excited.
"That's peanut." Tony whispered, still smiling.
I laughed. "That's peanut!" I said. Tony brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it.
"We made a human."
"I know, it's crazy, right?"
Dr. Cox chuckled at us. "First time parents are always so excited. So, Piper, you're due around May 16th, 2013 and I'll see you in about 2 weeks for a check up, then another sonogram in about 5 to find out the gender. Does that sound alright with you?"
I nodded excitedly, then he finished up the sonogram, printing out the pictures of little peanut. Tony requested 8 copies, and Dr. Cox stared at him like he was crazy, but did it anyway. Today was the day we were telling all of our friends.
"We need to go and pick up the food for tonight, and wine." Tony said as we made our way back to our car. I was upset at the fact that I couldn't have wine, but I can make it through nine months without wine.
I hope.
Tony opened the car door for me, and I slid in. A few seconds later, we were taking off towards the grocery store.
I was rubbing the stomach, which was now covered by my shirt. I wonder what peanut is doing. I hope they're not bored in there, but I think there's a lot to do in my uterus? I'm not sure, I've never lived there.
"What were you planning on making?" Tony said, reaching over to grab my hand.
"I was going to make chicken alfredo and just a salad on the side. Maybe some bread."
"Yeah, we should get some bread to heat up. And a bottle of Chardonnay to drink. We'll get some white grape juice for you and I to drink so they think we're drinking wine."
You and I? "Wait, Tony, you can drink."
He pulled into the parking lot. "Yeah, but you can't and I don't think it's fair of me to drink wine around you. Besides, we're in this together, right?"
I leaned over the center console and grabbed his face, pulling him in for a kiss. He's so sweet.
I found myself a keeper.
He pulled away and smiled. "We're so grown up. We're throwing a dinner party and having a baby."
"I know, we're classy now."
Tony laughed, then his lips collided with mine again.

It took a while to cook dinner, and I found myself in a rush to get dressed. Luckily, I wasn't showing yet, so I could wear whatever I wanted. I pulled on a black short sleeve dress with a floral skirt part and put on flats, because I was not about to walk around for who knows how long in heels. My feet already hurt. I left my hair with it's natural wave and left my makeup they way I had it earlier.
I walked out to the living room to find Tony with a dress shirt on, tucked into his skinny jeans and a bow tie.
This is how we do classy, folks.
"I finished wrapping all the presents, and I opened the wine to let it breathe. If you just write the names on the cards, they'll be finished." He said. I looked over the gifts to see a sticky note placed on top of each with Tony's handwriting scribbled on it.
One day in Bora Bora, we decided to take on the rain and going shopping for gifts for all of our friends. We got Mike a shot glass, Seren some jewelry (Tony and I know nothing about jewelry so we just grabbed something), Jaime a little hula girl (which they surprisingly sold there, and I knew Jaime would love it), Jess a book, Alysha a photo album, and Vic a tee shirt that said "I went to Bora Bora and all I got was this stupid shirt". Inside each gift was a picture of little peanut chilling in the womb. We thought this was a great way to tell everybody.
As Tony placed a glass of "wine" on the table in front of me, there was a knock on the door. Tony walked away to get the door, and I could hear the muffled voices of Mike and Alysha as Tony ushered them in. I finished writing Vic's name on a card, then stood up to great them.
"Alysha, hey!" I said as I took her into my arms for a hug. She's so gorgeous, and if I was a guy, I'd totally hit on her.
"Oh, Piper, you didn't have to get us presents!" She said, looking at the coffee table.
I smiled at Alysha. "We wanted to! We found perfect things for all of you and we're so excited for you guys to see them." I said. I kind of lied about finding perfect things because Vic is surprisingly hard to shop for.
"How was Bora Bora-oh, thank you Tony-was it just perfect?" Alysha asked, taking the glass of wine from Tony's hand that he brought from her.
I began to chat with Alysha about Bora Bora as more of our guests flooded into our tiny apartment. You never know how much you miss someone until you're away from them, even for a week. I hardly ever see my husband and my best friend, so when Jaime walked through the door, we both screamed like thirteen year old girls and hugged each other.
I really love my best friend.
The evening was going well, and within almost no time, we were all sitting around the table, and it was time to give them the gifts. As Tony and I gathered up the presents, I felt the nerves rush through my body. No, those aren't nerves.
I shoved the presents in Tony's hands and walked quickly to the bathroom to vomit. Really, peanut, right now? I should've asked Dr. Cox why I get my damn morning sickness at night and not in the morning.
I finished, then began brushing my teeth, listening closely to the voices out in the living room. Nobody seemed to notice that I was vomiting, which was great. That means they're not suspecting anything.
I walked back out to find everyone around the table, chatting and drinking. Tony was handing out all the presents around the table, waiting for me to walk over there.
I grabbed my glass of "wine" and stood at the head of the table. Everyone looked up at us and I smiled at them.
"I just missed you guys so much." I said, shaking. Everyone smiled at me, but leave it to Jaime to speak up.
"I MISSED YOU MORE." Jaime said.
He's had a little too much wine.
"So, Tony and I had such a great time in Bora Bora, and we decided to buy you all presents, so you can open them now." I said, and Vic ripped the wrapping paper off of his box.
Tony and I all watched nervously as Vic pulled the picture of peanut out of the box.
"No. Way." Vic said, then followed by Seren screaming.
"YOU ARE NOT OH MY GOSH!" She ran up to me and hugged me, crying into my shoulder.
"I am so." I said, smiling.
Everyone was coming up to us and hugging us, congratulating us. Jaime was literally about to cry.
"Uncle Hime Time, in the house!" He shouted, taking another drink of his wine.
Everyone was so excited, and I was so happy they were taking it so well.
Peanut has a great family.

Notes