I Introduce The Selfish Machine

It's the day of my sister's freaking wedding.
Woo-hoo.
If you couldn't tell, that was a sarcastic woo-hoo, I couldn't careless about a wedding. Literally, who even cares? We just come together to watch two people kiss and then eat food together and get fat. It's just an excuse to throw a party. You're married when you get your marriage license, so why throw a huge ceremony? Ew. Just freaking ew.
I'm happy for my sister. Jacob is a cool guy and he's so sweet to Leanna, but God I hate being here.
I watched my sister go out on the dance floor with Jacob for the first time since they got married...an hour ago. I sighed. Stupid HallMark Holiday. Just like Valentine's Day.
Leanna ran back over to the table and plopped on the seat next to me.
"What's a matter, Grumps?" She asked. She always called me Grumps, it was my nickname growing up. "Why don't you go out there and dance?"
"You know the answer." I said.
She sighed. "Piper, you can't be bitter all the time. Go and dance, Vic is pretty cute."
Vic is Jacob's best friend, and his best man. I don't even know how Jacob knows him, but it's nice to know I'm going to see him at almost all family events.
"Eh, I'll just sit here."
Leanna stood up. "Fine, but I'm going to have fun on my wedding day with my only sister. Just come out and dance a little later. I'll let you be Grumps for a little while, but not all evening. Have fun, even though it all involves love." She then ran away to the dance floor. I watched her grab Jacob's hands and make a joke. He smiled, and then leaned down to kiss her.
Ew, love.
I walked up to the bar and ordered a glass of wine, demanding it to be filled up to the top of the glass. After getting my glass, I walked outside to sit on the steps in the back of the building. However, the place I was going to sit was taken by some dude. I walked to the steps and sat right next to him.
"I'm sitting here." I said after sitting down.
"Fine with me." The guy said, looking at the ground.
I took a big drink of my wine. If Leanna didn't want Grumps, I needed to be drunk. I wanted to give her a day without my bitter attitude.
The guy brought up a beer bottle and took a big chug out of it.
I laughed. "You trying to get drunk, too?" I asked, taking another drink of my wine.
He laughed and then nodded. "How'd you guess?" Then, he looked up at me. He had big brown eyes and a small piercing underneath one of his eyes. "Weren't you the Maid of Honor?"
"Ugh, don't remind me." I said, taking another drink.
He laughed. "Don't like the groom? Or the bride?"
"Well, the bride's my sister, so I love her and Jacob's pretty cool. I just don't like weddings."
"Why not?"
"If I told you why, we'd be out here forever."
He laughed. He extended a hand out to me. "I'm Tony Perry."
"Hi Tony Perry, I'm Piper Lynn Kristianson." I took his hand and shook it.
"Piper Lynn? Is Lynn your middle name?" Tony asked.
I took another drink, finishing off my wine. "Actually, no. Piper Lynn is my first name, but just call me Piper."
"Alright, Piper. Now, why are you sitting next to me, trying to get drunk?" Tony asked.
I paused. "Give me a drink of your beer." I said, grabbing it and taking a big drink.
He laughed. "Come on, tell me."
"Because I'm bitter and my sister wants me to be happy, so I'm getting away from all that lovely-dovey crap to drink my wine peacefully. Now what about you, Tony?"
He shook his head. "Well, since your the Maid of Honor, you know Vic. Well, Vic brought me, another friend, and his brother with him instead of a date. They're all in there, hooking up with girls and pressuring me to ask a girl to dance but I'm too damn shy."
I smiled at Tony. "I have an idea, Tony."

Notes