I stood in the shower under the hot running water for half an hour. I just stood there and thought of nothing. The water felt cold after some time and I was forced to get out. And when I did, I wrapped a towel around my wet body and made my way into our bedroom. Tony was still asleep on the couch and I realized that today was the day. Today was the day that I would dump his sorry ass for good.

I went to change into my most comfortable clothes and pulled my hair up into a ponytail. And then I sat down on the bed and drank some orange juice. I turned on the television but didn't pay attention to it. I was lost in my own pathetic world and for once, it felt good and much needed.

A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. I saw Tony standing in the doorway. He was looking at me carefully and I wished I had known what was going through his mind.

”So,” I said, ”I'm going to pack my bags and leave.”

”Where are you going?” he asked quietly.

”Back to New York,” I said. He nodded and started biting his lip.

”Are you sure you want to go?” he asked.

”I don't want to go,” I said, ”But you've left me no choice. I can't stay and you know it. How could I be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't appreciate me?”

”Okay,” he mumbled, ”I don't want to but I'm going to let you go. I know there's nothing I can do to save this relationship.”

”You're damn right about that. You've done enough.”

”I wish I hadn't done that...”

”Too late for that now, huh?”

”Mmhm... Can I at least hug you before you go?” he asked quietly.

I bit my lip and then nodded. I got up from the bed and walked to him. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and I buried my face into his shirt.

And then, before I could stop them, tears started rolling down my cheeks. I sniffled and held him more tightly.

”Are you crying?” he whispered into my ear and kissed my hair.

”A bit, yeah,” I whispered and nodded.

”Please don't cry, it breaks my heart,” he mumbled and sighed deeply.

”Thanks for taking care of me last night,” I said quietly as I pulled away and started wiping my wet cheeks.

”It's what any boyfriend would have done. Don't thank me.”

”I'll try to remember you as a good boyfriend,” I said and nodded, ”I wouldn't want to think that I've wasted such a long time with a complete asshole.”

I bit my lip and just looked at him for a long time. I wanted to remember his beautiful face for as long as possible because, truthfully, I wouldn't see him again. I didn't even want to see him again. He had broken my heart and, as much as I tried, I just couldn't be mad at him. But even though I wasn't angry at him, I was hurt and felt betrayed, which was exactly why I had to leave him. I couldn't possibly trust him ever again.

”I love you, Abigail,” he whispered and lifted his hand up to touch my cheek.

”I love you, too, Tony. So much,” I mumbled as tears filled my eyes again. I sniffled and tried to pull myself together. Tony kept brushing my cheek with his cold fingers, trying to comfort me.

And before I could stop myself, my hands were around his neck and I was pulling his face down for a kiss. His lips felt softer than ever and he was trying to be really gentle. But I was hungry for him, I wanted him to be rough. I wanted my legs to get sore from his hands so that I could remember his touch for as long as possible.

”One last time,” I whispered against his lips. He nodded and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and pulled me against his body. And my god, how I had missed him... Even if it had only been a few days since the last time. And knowing it would be our last time doing it... I could barely even think about it so I closed my mind and let myself dive deep into the bittersweet moment.

Tony pushed me gently on to my back on top of the bed and laid on top of my body. His lips never once left my mouth as he moved his hands down my body to my stomach. He lifted the shirt up, revealing my bare skin, and left burning circles with his thumbs on it. I enjoyed his touch with the best I could, knowing I would never feel it again, and grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked my hand back, pulling his hair. Tony let out a low groan and kissed me harder, nearly biting my lip in the process. I was trying not to breathe like I had just run a marathon but it was hard when he was kissing me so roughly.

His right hand, my favourite one, started to make its way down my body. He pushed his hand down into my pants and underwear and I moaned into his mouth. He started rubbing and stroking and teasing me and I just wanted him – all of him – inside of me.

When he pulled his hand away, I took my chance and moved mine down to his jeans. I opened the button, pulled down the zipper and started pushing them down to his knees. Tony moved down to kiss my neck with his soft lips, and I moaned, as my hands found the waistband of his boxers. I grabbed a handful of him through his boxers and he groaned and bit my neck gently which made me moan out loudly.

”You have no idea how crazy that drives me,” he whispered into my mouth after groaning loudly. His strong hands grabbed my hands and pushed them above my head and pinned them tightly against the bed. I couldn't move as he grabbed both my hands with his left hand and held them up, and his right hand pulled my pants off me. He pushed my legs apart and laid down between them before roughly thrusting himself into me. I gasped for air and quickly his mouth covered mine again.

A single tear started rolling down my cheek as he started pushing his hips into mine. I wasn't crying because I didn't like the sex, because I definitely did, but the tears were in my eyes because it was the last time he would be inside of me. I wouldn't be filled with him ever again...

”Please don't cry when I'm having sex with you, Abby,” Tony whispered quietly into my ear and stopped moving, ”It makes me feel like I'm bad at this.”

”I'm sorry,” I mumbled and sniffled. He let go of my hands and allowed me to wipe the tears away.

”You okay?” he asked and stared into my eyes. He brushed my hair away from my face and touched my cheek with his thumb.

”No,” I shook my head and swallowed hard, ”But don't stop, please, Tony.”

”I can't do this if you're crying...” he sighed.

”Sure you can. And I've just stopped crying,” I told him and nodded.

”Are you sure?”

”Yes. Please.”

”Okay,” he nodded and bit his lip. Then he buried his face into my hair and started kissing my neck as he continued thrusting his hips against mine, filling me more and more with every push. And my god how whole and loved I felt. I felt loved by my cheating boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, that is.

After finishing our... business, I got dressed and packed my bags quickly. I would be leaving a whole lot of stuff behind me but I guess that was what I'd need to move on eventually.

”Are you sure you have to go?” Tony whispered.

He stood in the doorway in nothing but his boxers, looking sexy and watching me standing in front of the front door with my suitcases. I bit my lower lip and nodded. I took a few steps closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I pressed my cheek tightly against his bare chest and closed my eyes. He held me tightly for a long time.

”I love you,” he whispered into my ear and kissed the top of my head, ”I'm sorry.”

”I love you, too,” I whispered and pulled away from him.

Before I could take a step back, he grabbed my face and pulled me into one last kiss. When he pulled away from the kiss, he pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes, never letting go of me.

”Goodbye, Tony,” I whispered and touched his cheek.

”Goodbye, Abby.”