Tony's POV

I didn't disturb Bianca, she was sleeping in the back room. She spent a lot of time on her own lately. She acts fine, but she's not. I never pressured her into telling me, I figured she'd tell me when she's ready.

“Night everyone!” Vic called from his bunk. We all said our goodnight's before sleeping. Well I didn't sleep, more like just led there, thinking. I had a bad feeling, I couldn't figure it out. Was Mike mad at me? Was it Bianca?

I heard footsteps walking through the bus, going to the bathroom. Probably Natalie or someone. It had to be, she always got up in the night. It wasn't long till I drifted off.

***

“Mikee! Get out the bathroom.” It was Vic's voice I heard. Climbing out I went to see what was going on.

“I'm still in bed!” his voice appeared.

“Oh. Well who's in the bathroom?”

“Not me....”

“Or me...” Both Natalie and Jaime said. “It'll be Bianca. She takes forever.” We nodded in agreement before getting breakfast. I was a little worried by now. But they were right, she always did take the longest. I headed into the back room, there was a piece of paper on the chair/bed in there.

Curious, I opened it. It didn't say who was to open it, but I wanted to see what it were.

Tony, Jaime, Natalie, Vic & Mike.

I'm sorry to have to write this, but my time has come. I can't cope anymore. I'm living my life as a lie. I hate my own child, I hate myself. I'm no longer happy. I've been battling this for as long as I can remember. It's not going away.

Mike, I want you to look after Tony for me. He's a good person who loves Adriana the world. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

Vic, look after Mike for me. He needs you now more than ever. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for him or you.

Jaime, live your life and be happy. Look after Vic & Mike for me. Look after Tony, look after him like when we were kids. I'm sorry I let you down.

Natalie, look after the boys for me. You'll always be my best friend, I'm sorry for being a failure.

Last but not least, Tony. Promise me you'll look after little Adriana for me. Tell her everyday that her mummy does love her, did love her.

Don't ever blame yourself for this. This was my choice, bring her up to be the best person you can. She loves her daddy lots. I love you Tone. I always will.

I'm truly sorry for everything, by the time you read this it will be too late. Please do not try to help me. Please do as I ask. Please look after each other.

I'm sorry.

Love, B x

I dropped the letter, the tears streaming down my face already, I raced towards the bathroom. “B, please open up...” I shouted, banging on the door. It was never too late. I would save her, I needed her. Adriana needed her & I didn't want to let her go. “B, please...” By now the guys were now watching me. “Get the door open..” I yelled towards them. The tears now visible.

It didn't take them long. She was slouched against the wall, an empty bottle of pills beside her. I shook her a little. “Baby, please wake up. Don't you dare leave me.” The tears fell as I tried to wake her up. As we attempted to save her. Nothing seemed to work. The bus coming to a sudden halt. I put my arms round her, whispering to her. “What about Adriana? What about me? What about us? Come on baby girl, wake up.”

She had to wake up, it wasn't her time to go. “Tone, I'm sorry.” Jaime said, sitting down in front of me. He was also crying.

“No Jaime, I'm sorry. I should of seen this coming.” I whispered, praying she'd wake up. We had tried everything. It wasn't enough. I just sat there, holding her. Kissing her head every so often. I wasn't letting her go, I couldn't.

“Tony, come on. They need to take her.” Vic's voice was soft, his eyes were red as were Natalie's as she clung onto him. I shook my head, refusing. That was until Mike & Jaime lifted me away. I pushed them both away, walking off the bus.

I punched the bus as I paced up and down. “You can't leave me B. I need you, our little girl needs you.” I managed to get out.

“Tone? I'm sorry.” Natalie had now joined me outside. I couldn't speak. My mouth opened but no words came out. “Shh, come here.” She pulled me into a hug as the tears fell even harder.

“S-she c-can...b-but sh-she was...” my words wouldn't come out. I let go of her and went back onto the bus. Vic was talking to someone on the phone, he was struggling to hold back on the crying. Jaime was sat with Adriana in his arms. Mike was stood in the kitchen. I made a bee line for him.

I had no control of myself right now, I punched him one straight in the face. “This is your fault!” I yelled at him, I went to hit him again but Vic pulled me back. “This is your fault Fuentes, driving her to this!”

His lip quivered. He was going to cry again. “Yes, you're right. This is my fault but my god Tony what I would do to have a chance to change it.”

“Change it? You're fucking pathetic!” I spat, releasing myself from Vic's grasp.

“This is just as much your fault as it is mine.” his words hit me like a thousand knives. No, I tried to help her. I tried to save her. My fist collided with his jaw & I went into the back room. The letter still on the floor. I picked it up, reading over it again.

How could such a beautiful girl be suffering so much? How could I be so blind? All these thoughts buzzed through my mind.

“Dada...” a little voice made me look towards the doorway.

“Someone's wants her daddy...” I just stared at them. I was numb, I didn't know what to do or say. That's when the little voice chirped up again. It was Adriana. I took her from Jaime and placed her on the bed with me. “You'll grow up to be beautiful, we'll get through this.”

“We'll make your mummy proud, both of us will...” My voice started cracking again.

The girl I loved had committed suicide, the girl I loved had left me for good. She left this life without waiting, it would of got better.

I was never going to make it through this. How was I going to go on when the love of my life was gone? How would I tell Adriana when she's older?

“I'm sorry I couldn't save you beautiful. I promise you I'll look after our daughter. We'll make you so proud of us. I love you.”

The girl who was too busy saving others, failed to save herself.

This was it. This is what it had to come. I felt angry, upset, heartbroken. I couldn't think of anything right now. I look down at Adriana who was smiling & giggling. “Dada...”

“I'm here princess...” her first words. Dada.

“Tone?” Mike's voice. I didn't want him to talk to me. I didn't want him breathing the same air as me.

“What?” I shot back at him.

“I'm sorry for what I said. We all had a part in this.” he replied quietly.

“No, we didn't. You made her sick again, you made her feel pathetic. You drove her to this, what do you think I tell my baby girl when she's older? Oh that her uncle Mike drove her mummy to suicide.” My anger was taking over. I picked Adriana up & put her to bed. I walked out the room Mike closely following.

“This is not my entire fault! If you would of opened your eyes you could of stopped her!” his voice was now raised.

“I tried...” My own voice dropped, I could feel my legs ready to go. “I tried so fucking hard to help her.” I began crying hard again, sinking to the floor.

“Clearly not hard enough...”

“Michael! That is enough.” Natalie's voice yelled. “Don't you think we've had enough? My best friend has just been taken to a fucking morgue and here you are spitting this shit out.” She paused for a minute. “The one thing you need to know about Bianca, she was a good girl. A brilliant friend & a great mum to that little girl...”

“Nata....” She cut him off.

“She kept all of us happy, kept us smiling, helped when really she was the one who needed help. She hid it from us all. She was too busy saving us when she should of been saving herself. Now shut your fucking mouth and leave that poor kid alone.” she finished up motioning to me.

“It's still his fault.” My anger was building up again.

“I said, shut up. Look at him, the girl he's loved since high school has just died Michael. Leave him alone.” Mike looked at me. I don't think he knew.

“H-high school?” he stammered.

“Yes, since high school I've loved that girl. Not just loved, no I fell in love with her. I sat back, watched her love you, watched you break her down....” I stood up, taking a few steps towards him. “...this is your fault. If you'd of let me be with her, I could of saved her properly.”

I could of saved her.

I should of saved her.

I should of told her how I felt.

Now it's too late.