A War in My Head

Avoiding Taylor is a much harder task than I ever thought it would be. She is everywhere, no matter where you go at school a part of her is there. People just dont want to let her go. It’s as though she’s a God, and we all know how I feel about the idea of God. God’s are feared but praised. That’s how I feel about her. She scares me but I can’t get rid of her.

“She ruins lives, you know that” Vic ranted. “All she ever does is break people down. Before I saved you she had you convinced no one liked you and that you were on your own. How untrue was that?” He paced around my room.

“I don’t understand why it’s a problem now. She is leaving us alone” I told him. Spring break was over and our exams are coming up.

“Lynn, she won’t ever really leave us alone. What she did last week was terrible” Vic sighed, turning on his heels and looking at me. He is right, what she done to me and my friend was unspeakable. No one should get away with it.

She sent out a chain text around everyone in our year at school telling them all our secrets. How she found out half of the stuff is unbelievable. She told about me being a virgin and that I was too frigid to have sex with Vic. She told everyone the crucial details of her sex with Vic, embarrassing him. She talked about Tony and his social anxiety and how he takes pills for it, calling him a freak and loser. Harley tried to commit suicide over the Christmas holidays, before I knew her obviously but now everyone in school knows. She told everyone about Jaime’s attempts to woo our Spanish teacher, saying he’s into older women. And lastly she outed Mike for smoking weed but that one was the most serious one. His parents got a phone call and they know, he’s been grounded until the end of summer and isn’t allowed to go to prom with us. Luckily the principle didn’t take higher measures.

“I don’t understand why she did it?” I bit my nails, frustrated. “We didn’t do anything to her” I puffed my cheeks out.

“Some of those secrets are serious. I don’t care what she says about me but my little brother? Harley has serious mental issues and now everyone knows she isn’t very stable” He shook his head. A part of me wondered if he ever had real feelings for her or if it was all just sex.

“I know, I feel awful for her and everyone involved. I feel like it was my fault” I said softly, feeling the guilt. Vic sat down on his bed next to me, placing his hand in mind.

“None of this is your fault” He pleaed with me, his eyes were convincing but I knew better.
“No it is, if I just stayed away from you all then she wouldn’t have targeted you” I explained. “She’s vicious but you only came up on her radar as soon as I was a part of your interest and now she feels like you’ve stolen me” I sighed, throwing my hands over my face.

“Listen, it doesn’t matter what you do or say, she has always been like this” Vic tried to convince me. I looked up and sighed again. “We need to leave for school or we will be late” He told me. I nodded and picked up my bag.

We left his house and got into my car. I drove us to school and nothing much was said until we got into the parking lot. “Sorry if I’m a little off” I told him. I don’t know why but I’ve been apprehensive about school now that it’s ending for me.

He walked around the other side of my car, taking my hands in his. “Have you ever thought about being prom queen?” He blurted out. I looked at him and laughed hysterically.

“You’re not serious are you?” I couldn’t stop laughing at the confused look on his face.

“Why do you think that’s funny?” He asked. I tilted my head to the side and smiled at him like I’ve never smiled before.

“It’s adorable that you think I could even have the chance but let’s be real here. Taylor is going to be prom queen” I shrugged.

“Or will she” He winked at me.

“What do you mean?” I was so confused by this point.

“Harley is on prom committee y’know” He hinted at me, I still hadn’t caught his drift yet.

“How is that going to help me” He grabbed my hand and we began walking into school.

“Well, we can rig it so you win. It’s annonymous anyway so no one is going to know for sure but” He stood in front of me, grinning like a fool. “If you win, she will break down. You win. She loses. It’s so damn simple” He seemed so proud of his plan.

“Okay, fine. Fuck it. I’m going in for prom queen” I said as if it were the most casual thing ever.

----

I walked up to the sign up sheets. Only three other people have signed up for prom queen, including Taylor obviously. I looked at the prom king list. Jaime Preciado? I laughed at the idea of Jaime winning, there’s actually a really good chance he might win because everyone likes Jaime. He’s just funny and throws kickass parties. “Oh don’t tell me you’ve signed up” I heard a bitchy voice come from behind me. I spun around and looked in the direction of the voice.

“Why not?” I shrugged. Taylor rolled her eyes at me and walked over to me.

“Why would you want to be prom queen. You don’t care about your hair, your eyebrows are messed up and you care more about the latest My Chemical Romance record than which dresses are presentable for the day. Lynn you’re not prom queen material” She smiled politely at me. I screwed up my eyes and shook my head.

“You know if you took your head out of your ass for five minutes and realise you’re not so shit hot anymore. No one really likes you Taylor, and if I’m completely honest they never have but the thing is you’re somewhat scary to some. That is why you’re popular, not because people actually want to be around you. You’re a horrible person with a shitty attitude, stop trying so hard to be something you’re not. You’re not famous, I’m pretty sure you’ve slept with half of this fucking town, including my boyfriend who you claim is a total loser with no future. If you really thought that then there would be no amount of alcohol in the world that would be able to make you fuck him. I think you’re just an attention whore who never really got what she wanted growing up. I know all your secrets Taylor, and pull a stunt like that with my friends ever again and I will make sure that every single person who attends this school knows ALL of your business. Like that nose job you got two years ago, funny that you forget to mention these things to all your “friends” that follow you around. Watch your back, cause I am not backing down now” I ranted, it just fell out of me without thinking. It was like a build up of everything I’ve ever wanted to say to her in the space of a minute.

I pushed past her and seen Vic and Jaime standing about a metre away, a small crowd of people had actually built up behind us and began clapping. I looked back at Taylor who had a confused and angry look on her face. Some guy shouted “Lynn for prom queen” I blushed slightly as I walked over to Vic who just put his arm around my shoulder and we walked away with Jaime.

“Lynn that was badass, where the Hell did that come from?” Jaime gushed with excitement.

“I honestly don’t know, I just couldn’t take her shit anymore and just exploaded” I laughed it off. Vic kissed the side of my head and I just looked up at him with happiness.

“I’m proud of you and I can’t wait to be dating the prom queen” He laughed. I looked at Jaime and smiled at him.

“I didn’t know you were going up for king” I told him. He nodded and continued walking to class.

“I thought why not, it’s my last year at school so I might aswell go up for something memorable” He shrugged.

“I’m glad, hey we might end up being king and queen. How fun would that be” I laughed. He smiled at me and nodded.

“And Vic is just your jester then” Jaime joked, Vic flipped him off and then Jaime had to go to Math.

Me and Vic had a study period together for History. So we went to the tree out where we sit at lunch times. I began thinking about the future, even though my mom and dad made me apply for college I didn’t plan on going. I have one chance at make my music reach people and I can’t let my parents ruin that chance.

“Vic?” I asked. He looked up from his notebook and nodded for me to continue. “What happens with us when I move to LA?” I asked, almost scared of the reply.

“LA isn’t that far away” He smiled. I felt my heart melt but I know deep down that long distance doesn’t work.

“You think it’ll work out?” I sighed.

“I don’t know but why worry about that now?” He smiled softly, I don’t understand how he can be so calm about it. We’ve been dating for about a month now and it scares me to think of the future.

“I don’t know sorry” I mumbled looking down at me book and reading it.

“Why do you worry so much about the future?” He asked me. I looked up, unsure of what to say.

“I honestly don’t know. Maybe it’s just something I was born with” I shrugged. He nodded in understanding.

He closed his book over and moved to sit directly in front of me. “ If this was it, and we broke up after school ends then I’ll be so sad but I know for a fact that being with you has been the highlight of my school experience. I don’t care what happens in the future, it’s just a few heartbeats away but it’s always going to be that. Once you get to it, you’re just waiting for the next. And with you Lyndsey I couldn’t think of anything better than being on the edge, wondering where we’re going next. You make life interesting and amazing. So don’t worry, because I’m just as anxious but excited as you are” He smiled at me, pushed the stray hairs out of my face and kissed me softly on the lips.

“I’m falling in love with you Victor” I mumbled against his lips.

“I’ve already fallen for you Lyndsey” He whispered back.

Notes