When we came back into our small portion of the hospital, it was free time. Usually I use this time to ignore everyone, but I decided to do something different tonight. I looked over at Vic. "Hey Vic, do you want to come to the day room with me?" I asked him. He nodded and I led us into one of the room we usually have our groups in. Luckily, there was no one in the room yet and so we went to the very corner of the room and sat down in the bean bag chairs we have in here. I looked at him and he gave me half a smile.

"What?" He asked me.

"Nothing. I'm just trying to figure you out."

"What do you mean?" His voice had a hint of confusion in it.

"I mean that you refuse to talk to anyone, I haven't even heard you talk to the staff before. Why did you chose to talk to me today?"

"Because you were the first person to actually come and talk to me. Everyone else has just stared at me.

---

It's been an hour and we've learned a lot about each other.

"Do you mind me asking you why you're here?" Vic asked me in a low voice, as if he's scared that if he talks to loudly, it might scare me off. I stared at my sleeve. I rolled my sleeve up a little bit and he could see the bandage on my wrist and all my scars.

"They found me right before I lost too much blood. My other wrist is the same way. There isn't any skin on my body, besides my face and my neck, that doesn't have scars." I looked at Vic through teary eyes and he started to roll up his sleeves. I could see week old cuts.

"They found me passed out in the bathroom. I wasn't trying to kill myself. I just cut too deep and I lost a lot of blood. My brother found me." He started to cry. "I have let my baby brother down. I never wanted him to see me like that." He was sobbing and so I grabbed him into my arms and held him as he cried. I stroked his hair as he kept talking to me. "I'm supposed to be strong for Mikey. I'm supposed to be the big brother. Showing him how to be brave and strong. Showing him how to be a man. But I have let him down." I could barely understand what he was saying towards the end.

"My 13 year old sister found me. She screamed and started to cry. She screamed for my grandparents. When my grandma saw me, she fell to the ground crying. I could tell that my grandpa wanted to do the same, but he had to be strong for my sister and his wife. I don't know what it's like to be an older brother, but I know what it's like to be an older sister and letting people down. Do you think I wanted my sister to find me like that? I try my hardest to stay around for her, but it's so hard. Vic, I know what it's like to have to try and be strong and like nothing bothers you. But I also know, that you haven't let your brother down. He still loves you and he's just scared for you. He's just scared to lose you." I was crying as well. He lifted himself up and looked me in the eyes. He embraced me into a giant hug, and we stayed there for, what felt like, forever.

Notes