"Trin, where's Mike?" Jaime asked me after about an hour of being at Vic's house. He were sitting down eating dinner.

"I thought you knew?" I asked, confused. "I mean, isn't he in the studio recording the drum tracks for the album?" I asked the boys.

"No, we had today off." Tony informed me. The look on his face said enough. Mike's up to something. I grabbed my wine glass and downed the last little bit of wine that was in it.

"Do you guys have anything harder than this?" I asked anyone who was listening. Vic jumped up from the table and came back to me with a bottle of Whiskey and a glass. I opened the Whiskey and poured myself a glass. I shot that one back and right when I was going to make myself another glass, the front door opened. I knew it had to be Mike. Only an hour late. I looked at Danielle and I could tell that she didn't know what to think.

"Daddy!!" Alexandria got up from the table and ran to her father. He picked her up, swaying a little bit and gave her a kiss on her forehead. I stood up from the table and crossed my arms, glaring at him. Jaime jumped up from the table and grabbed Alex, after Mike put her back on the ground, and took her into the den, turning Dora on, and closing the den door so she didn't have to hear this. He came back and sat down at the table.

"Hey." Mike said when he saw me.

"Where the fuck have you been all day?" I asked.

"What do you mean? I told you that I was going out with some friends today."

"No you did not. You told me that you were heading to the studio today to record some tracks. What were you doing today?"

"I told you. I was with friends today."

"What friends?"

"I met someone at one of our shows and she wanted me to hang with her and her friends today." All I could see was red.

"She? You left me at home to take care of our children to go 'hang out' with another girl?" By this time, I had gone around the table and was standing in front of my husband. "And you're drunk. What all did you do with her and her friends today?" I looked at the table and everyone was watching us. Great.

"You told me that it was fine if I left. And I'm not drunk, I'm a little buzzed. And we went to go see a band play today."

"I said that it was fine if you left because you said you were going to the studio!"

"Look, can we not do this here. Can we just enjoy our night with our friends? We can talk about this at home."

"Fine. We'll talk about this 'later'. Just like we do every time."

---

I'm laying in bed, waiting for Mike to come back from putting the kids to bed. I'm exhausted and he offered to do it. Must be feeling really bad about today. He came back into our room and closed the bedroom door. He took his tank top and jeans off. He left his boxers on and slipped into bed. I think I'm actually drooling from looking at his body. After all this time, I'm still wildly attracted to him and all his tattoos just help add to the attraction. I turn over to look at him and I reach over. Putting one of my hands on his chest. I move closer to him and start to kiss him. At first he was kissing back and it got pretty heated. He ripped off my night gown and so I was left in just my underwear. When I was about to grab him and start rubbing, he pushed me away.

"I just want to go to bed tonight." He told me and I felt my heart break.

"Oh okay." I whispered. I slipped my night gown back on as he turned on the TV and got comfortable. After 10 minutes, he fell asleep. I grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. As I got comfortable to fall asleep, I started to cry. I couldn't stop it. I just cried and cried for what felt like hours. How could he not want to have sex with me, he always does. Does he not find me attractive anymore. I know I've put on some weight from having Victor, but I didn't think that bothered Mike. What's wrong with me? Am I just not sexy anymore? Is it because I'm a mother? Am I ugly now? All these thoughts are rushing through my mind. I fall asleep hating myself.

Notes