Red.

To say my nerves were eating me alive was truly an understatement. Vic had called me about an hour ago, letting me know they had just got in and dawn had not stopped talking about seeing me again. I smiled into the reciever messing with a strand of my newly colored lilac hair. I admit walking into the salon yesterday and blurting out to my bestfriend I wanted lilac hair was pretty ballsy but I truly feel renewed. After hanging up with vic I had decided to clean up the house a bit for my precious little ones return. I had sat in her room for hours looking at her pictures, drawings, and notes she had made for me and her father, she was precious. I stopped coming across a note that she had written to Santa, it was colored in red and greens with hints of yellow.
"Deer sandy claws, for krismas I don wan toys wha I wan is for my momma and dadde to be togeher agan. I kno momma Luvs dadde alo cause she cry for him when he leave. I also kno dadde luv momma too but he no wan to tell her he scare. So sandy for krismas I jus wan momma and dadde to ge marry and also I want a yoda doll, tank yew sandy claus merry krismas."
-luv dawn
I wiped at a tear I hadnt know had started to fall, I swear my daughter sees things that two grown adults can't possibly see. I held the note to my heart before placing it back in its box and placing it under the bed. I stood up having finished my cleaning, I decided it was time for a shower before I took off to the arena. I grabbed some clothes from the closet deciding on a plain red dress that hugged my curves, some black flats, and a white cardigan. I grabbed my undergarments and towel before retreating to the bathroom. I took my time allowing the lukewarm water to caress and cascade down my body, the nerves melting away. I washed my hair and body, shaving my legs and arms to a silky smooth texture. I shut off the water wrapping the towel around myself. I dried my body and hair stepping into my selected clothing. I applied make up leaving my hair in a wavy state. I tossed on my shoes grabbing my purse, keys and phone off the night stand. I exited my room turning off lights and locking the door behind me as I stepped out. I climbed into my car plugging my phone into my auxiliary cord and playing the "Jonny Craig" station on pandora. It had all the right songs to put me at ease. I pulled out of the garage taking off to the venue.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I walked into the venue waving at ptvs tour manager Matt, he pointed down the hallway mouthing "there in there."
I gave him a quick squeeze before making my way to the green room. I stood outside of the door my skin thrumming from the nerves rising. I laid my hand on the handle turning the knob and slowly stepping in, as soon as my first foot was in screams could be heard and tiny hands were wrapping around my legs.
"oh my god momma you here momma here!" Dawn yelled as I picked her up, she laid her head on my shoulder tears coming from her eyes.
"oh baby why are you crying?" I said squeezing her to me a little more.
"I miss you momma don ever leave."dawn sniffles rubbing her eyes. I placed kisses all over my daughter face earning a small giggle from her. I finally turned my attention to the boys before me, they all had smiles even Mike. I looked around not a sign of alysha to be seen. I put dawn on the floor before embracing the boys, as I went to hug tony alysha walked in laughing loudly with another girl in tow. The girl was beautiful to say the least red hair, pale skin, petite body, and the freckles that scattered her body. I turned to them smiling dawn making a beeline for my legs as she hid behind them.
"oh Emma what a pleasure to see you here we were wondering when you were coming back." Alysha spoke sauntering over to me giving me a slight squeeze. I forced a smile onto my face, "well I did need to come get the little one can't live without her." I replied gesturing to dawn. Alysha smiled before perking up, "oh Em, em I need you to meet someone you'll love her." I looked to the boys there gazes meeting mine there was a hint of something else there in their eyes.
alysha walked back to me red head in tow, said red head sent me a wave and smile.
"Emma babe, this is Danielle."
I waved to danielle extending my hand, "Danielle is vics girlfriend" I froze mid shake the word girlfriend vibrating through my ears, I forced a smile actin surprised, "oh really, how long have you to been seeing each other?" I questioned.
"about a month we made it official a week ago." Danielle said a smile reaching ear to ear.
"That's really great, I always said he would find someone as beautiful as you are." I replied punching vic in the shoulder with just a little more force then intended. They all laughed trying to lighten the mood, I looked to alysha a smirk on her face.
"Uhm well I'm going to go to the restroom real quick I'll be right back it was lovely meeting you Danielle."
I turned on my heel making way to the door dawn waddling behind me. I walked out into the hallway anger coursing through me.
"Emma wait." I turned over my shoulder seeing the last two people on this earth I wanted to see, vic following after me and an angry Mike after him.
I rolled my eyes stopping to face the two, "what vic, here to explain to me about danielle, honestly save it I don't want to hear it." I said angrily.
"no please let him explain I really want to hear this."Mike spoke standing infront of his brother.
I looked up at Mike in disbelief, "please I'm pretty sure you know all about it. Before Mike could make a commen i raised a hand to both of them not wanting to hear a wordfrom either, "shut up both of you, for once just once I wanted peace, but I can't have that can I, it's always lie after lie with you and now you vic, couldn't you have spared my emotions, couldn't have waited to introduce me to your girl who you were seeing when we did what we did, or better yet introduce me to her and spare anything from happening between us if I had known About her I would have never done what I did with you."
Both fuentes looked Away from me , I looked past them to see alysha strutting towards us a smirk on her face, "hey em, I hope you liked that little introduction back there, because it was time for a wake up call, awe don't be upset it's for the best besides thanks to you the boys have found better, actually thanks to you they didn't settle for less, I mean not like Mike would have ever settled for you when he has me, me who he's getting married to in the next week, I hope to see you and my further daughter there it'll be a blast." Alysha spoke wrapping her arms around Mike. I looked to Mike and vic hoping for a bit of a backbone instead I got nothing. Figured. I picked up dawn cradling her to me A tear falling from my eye, " im glad they "chose better" me and my daughter deserve better too, and you won't be seeing us at your wedding, dawn will never be your future daughter no matter if you two are married, I'm leaving and I'm taking her with me I don't want to see you for awhile Mike you can come visit and take out your daughter but I refuse to be apart of your life as long as she's running it."
I turned on my heel as dawn sobs sounded throughout the ballroom.
Dawn kicked and screamed holding her hands out for her father "dadde, dadde no ,no!!" I held her to me as my tears came quicker.
I walked out grabbing my keys and putting dawn in the back seat. Silent tears still rolling down her doe eyes, I slid in turning the car on exiting the arena.
"im really sorry babe, I promise you'll see daddy all the time I'm not taking you from him I could never do that to you." I spoke looking at dawn through the mirror. Dawn turned away from me looking out the window, "I hate you momma."
I looked away facing foward a fresh tear falling, "I know baby I hate myself too." I whispered.

Notes

Fuck I made myself sad. Thoughts. A couple more chapters left let me know what your all thinking if your liking it I really wanna know.
-Padme