The Reason

I get up the next morning. Monday. That means I have a week of shit coming at me. On the bright side though, Next week is the last week of 8th grade so I shouldn't let it get to me. I put on some dark blue jeans and a Sleeping With Sirens shirt along with all my much needed bracelets. I do my hair and makeup and head downstairs.

"Good morning sweetie." My dad smiles. Ever since I was a little girl, dad has gotten up to make me breakfast even though I tell him I can do it myself.

"Good morning." I say, moving up to hug him. He sets down a plate of waffles in front of me and I dig in. Somehow, my dad is pretty good at making waffles. They always make me feel like a little kid again.

"Are you excited for school to let out?" he says, sitting down in front of me.

"Of course!" I say, finishing up.

"That's great! Hey, you should get going otherwise you'll be late." he says, walking back upstairs.

"Okay..."

I get my turquoise backpack and put on my hightop converse.
"BYE!" I yell before I leave out the door. The walk to school is like.. 7 minutes, so I just listen to music on the way. When I get to school grounds, I sit down on a bench and wait for the bell to ring. I see my friend Anthony walk past me.
"Anthony, wait up!" I say running to him. He just kept walking forward.
"Anthony! Why are you ignoring me!" I say. He stops and faces me and is about to say something when two girls scream out.

"EWWW! Anthony! Why would you want to talk to a freak like her!?" He shakes his head and walks away. He was the only kind of friend I had and now he's gone. I never wanted to go out with him or anything and now he's gone....

The rest of the day is normal. I got paper thrown at me during math that said 'youre such a fucking loser and nobody likes you'. I ate lunch alone in the back of the cafeteria while people laughed at me. School lets out and I start to walk home.

"OWW!" I shriek as I feel something hit me on the head. I turn around and see the same two girls from this morning laughing and pointing at me. I look down and see that they threw a half empty water bottle at me. They run off leaving me mad.

I get home and see dad at the table with a pile of papers sorting things out.

"How was school?" he says lookng at me.

"G-good.."

"Really? You look tired!"

"N-no... I'm okay.."

"Okay?"

I go up stairs and get on my laptop. Onto my email. I had to delete my old one because someone found it and I got a lot of hate mail... Looks like someone found this one because there was an email from someone I didn't know.

'Holy fucking god Kitzie,
You are so pathetic. Why don't you go ahead and kill yourself?! Nobody likes you! You're worthless! Nobody will miss your fat ass! Not even your gay ass dad will miss you! Your mom did the right thing to leave you and your dad! You're a waste of space!

bye bye bitch!'

I shut off my computer and begin to cry. They're right! I am worthless! I am Pathetic! No one will miss me if I killed myself! I took my biggest razor and began to cut. 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10..11..12..13..14..15..16..17..18..
Okay, now I have to stop. I'm about to clean things up when I hear my dad knock on the door.

Crap.

Notes

I won't be able to update until late Sunday night, so have this update now!

Roxanne xoxo