The Life and Lies of The How-To Manual

“Jaime!” I yelled for him in the bus. I was kind of still blind and so…nothing had changed. I still can’t see where he is. Sure, we had basically made up last night. Not too bad. Yeah, I forgave him because honestly, I can’t stay mad at that man. However, he said he would tell me today.

He had a secret.

They all had a secret.

And he was going to share it whether he wanted to or not.

“Ding, stop yelling!” Tony whined. Autumn shut him up with a quick smack to the forehead.

“Stop, she can’t see him! How else is she going to find that man?” Autumn groaned. There was shuffling behind me. I whipped around, like I could see who it was.

It was just more darkness.

“Is Jaime in here?” I asked them. There was a breath pause.

“Um….no?” Tony answered in a question. I sighed. Tony was a terrible liar.

“No, he’s not here.” Autumn responded loudly over someone tripping into a bunk.

“Jaime, I can tell it’s you!” I called after him. A terrified shriek followed as there was more rustling of blankets. He probably ducked into his bunk.

“Noooo, this is Pedro. Please leave message after beep. BEEEEEEEEP!” Jaime said in a weird voice. With a sigh and a face-palm, I stumbled towards the sound.

With a mental image in mind, I tried to keep track of my steps and count the spaces to his bunk. When I reached it, I tumbled inside.

“THIS IS PEDRO! THIS IS PEDRO!” He kept shrieking. We had been playing this game of cat and mouse for far too long. Time for the secret spilling!

“Come along, Himes. We’re going to talk.” I pulled him out of his bunk and he whined as I pulled him to the front lounge.

“We’ll give you time.” Autumn murmured as she pulled a Turtle in her wake. We were alone in the front lounge….I think. I hope. Jaime whined again about me disturbing nap time as I turned around to face him.

“Jaime Preciado, we have some talking to do.” I tapped my foot and crossed my shoulders. There was a slight gust that caught up in the lounge. A window must be open. It tickled the back of my neck as it brushed through.

“About what?”

“You know what, butt-queef.” I argued back. He sighed. It sounded shaky and broken, like our spirits. I might be blind, but I’m not dumb. He can’t evade this forever. I needed to know.

This was my life. This was my choice. I wanted to know. It might hurt me in the end, but I needed to know. I can’t go through life not knowing. It would break me down far more.

“Do you really need to know this?” He asked quietly. I felt his presence just inches away from me. His cool breath kissed my brow. I nodded slowly.

“I find out on my own or from you. Your choice.” I responded softly. He nodded, inhaling faster and faster. I could almost see him run his hands through his hair in anticipation. He always did it when he was nervous.

“Himes…” I reminded him.

“Okay, okay. I’ll tell you. Please, don’t be mad.”

“Why would I?” I responded with confusion flooding my brain. What would make him so nervous? Did he get someone pregnant? DID HE GET VIC PREGNANT!?!?!?!

“It’s just…I…I kept things from you and you need to know them.” He choked out.

“Yeah, that’s kind of what a secret it.” I grumbled. There was a long moment of silence. Now for the moment of truth.

“Okay…”

“Spit it out.”

More silence, more anticipation. The bus was completely quiet. I had a feeling Tony and Autumn were listening to us right now, as we speak.

“Willow, you’re dying.” He took my hands in his. I sighed in relief.

“Yeah, we kind of all are. That’s the byproduct of life: Death.” I chuckled. Oh man, Preciado got worked up over the tiniest things.

“No, I mean you’re going to die soon.” He whispered through a curtain of tears. I reached up to touch his cheek, pulling back a wet hand from his tears.

“What?” I asked softly.

“The d-doctor said that you’re going to die sooner than most people. Your brain has that ability to heal so quickly and do self-repair to internal damage. Like the speaking-“

“Yeah, I heard about that. It’s like Iron Man. I trade speaking for blindness, but at least I get to talk.” I laughed, but something still felt wrong. Like there was more to it.

“Yes, but the thing is, that this power is wearing out your brain. It’s like a machine. It can self-repair, but the more it has to work, the faster it wears out. The faster it wears out, the sooner your body will start to shut down. When a machine wears out….” He trailed off.

“It shuts down. It dies.” I finished with a gentle nod. My brain was processing this.

No wonder he wouldn’t let me go cliff diving. No wonder he kept me on lock, why he was so over-protective. If I hurt myself, my body would repair itself. If it started to repair, it would work hard. It works too hard, it shuts down.

It shuts down, I die.

Great.

Actually, it was.

It was totally, amazingly, awesomely great. No sarcasm at all, promise! (I’m not crossing my fingers!)

“So you were protecting me from myself so I won’t hurt myself and overwork my brain.” I responded. There was silence. I took that as he was nodding.

“Yeah.” He eventually breathed out. I took a step back, shaking my head and smiling.

“I’m dying, slowly but surely, and I will perish soon.” I repeated to myself.

“I don’t want that. The doctor said that the less you hurt yourself, the less likely you’ll die sooner. You might live longer if you don’t hurt yourself, or the environment doesn’t hurt you.” He begged. I nodded, but kept smiling with a tear glistening on my lower eyelid.

“I’m dying.” I repeated, still in shock of everything.

“Please, we can get through this-“

“No, Jaime, I’m dying! This is great! I’m dying!” I laughed and let out a true grin spread across my face.

“What?” He asked, full of confusion.

“Jaime, guess what? I’m dying! HEY WORLD! I’M DYING!” I yelled through the bus as loud as I can.

“They all know already.” Jaime muttered sadly.

“Oh, from the way they acted, I could guess they knew already.” I chuckled lightly, as if none of this happened.

“Why are you so happy?” Jaime asked me. I went over and grabbed his hands, giving them a light squeeze.

“Because I’m dying! I get all the incentive in the world to keep on doing the things I’ve always wanted to do. I mean, I have a limited time, right? So why waste it by sitting here and be boring when I could go and live life! YOLO, right?”

“Please never say YOLO again.” Jaime sighed. I chuckled and kissed his cheek.

“Jaime, I want to go cliff-diving. I want to go extreme hide-and-go-seeking-ing. I want to do all of this. I want to ride camels and race them in the Middle East.” I laughed loudly. He shook his head, I felt the tips of his hair brush my face.

“The doctor said you can’t do that because there is a risk to it.”

“Being born is risky, but here we are. Let’s go live life. Life is just one big WARNING label. Let’s go live.” I suggested. Jaime grabbed hold of my shoulders.

“I think you might need a few days to comprehend this.” He suggested, sitting me down. I shook my head.

“No, that’s Vic’s job to be insane.”

“True, but now you’re trying to be his intern. Please, a few days to recover. Then we’ll go back and find something fun to do that won’t seriously harm you.” He laughed. I pouted but gave in.

“Fine, as long as it doesn’t make me the insane intern.” I giggled. He sighed in relief and kissed me slowly.

“I love you. I’m not going to let anything take you.” He pressed another kiss to my nose and I squeezed his hand.

“Can I still ride camels?”

“We’ll see.”

Notes